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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect the husband to be upset

88 replies

FeelingSoSad2 · 15/04/2023 04:01

at people who have humiliated me?

Long story short, some people in DHs circle had some frictions with me, started talking behind my back, turned other people against me and it then exploded in me being publicly humiliated at a party in front of him and our children.

Its been over a year and some could say that I should forget about it, but humiliation is hard to forget.

Well, he says that he doesnt want to think about it and his relationship with this people wont be affected by this (as they are close to his child from previous marriage).

I would be very uncomfortable with people who would do it to him, AIBU to expect the same from him? I feel that him being ok with them is adding insult to injury.

OP posts:
Onefootinthegroove · 15/04/2023 07:40

thedancingbear · 15/04/2023 07:35

Didn’t any of the teachers intervene at any point?

😁

SecretSwirrel · 15/04/2023 07:41

OP can you please explain your relationship with your DH and how you came to be with him? It sounds like there’s a lot of bad feeling and his ex-wife blames you for the breakdown of their marriage.

I suspect there’s a massive back-story here.

ILoveCreamCrackersMe · 15/04/2023 07:50

Can anyone explain what actually happened? Reading the OP is making my eyes bleed, it makes little sense.

MaroonCow · 15/04/2023 07:52

ILoveCreamCrackersMe · 15/04/2023 07:50

Can anyone explain what actually happened? Reading the OP is making my eyes bleed, it makes little sense.

She got into an argument with the ex and ex's friends at a party and is upset that her husband isn't getting involved.

mischlerischler · 15/04/2023 07:52

It all sounds very childish. If I were your DH I would not want to get involved either.

Sounds like both you and the ex were at fault here.

horridjobescapee · 15/04/2023 07:52

I'd say it sounds like it's as much on you as her.

Snoken · 15/04/2023 07:56

It's in moments like these Jeremy Kyle serves a purpose.

TheKobayashiMaru · 15/04/2023 07:57

Where was the party held amd why did you go knowing she'd be there?

mischlerischler · 15/04/2023 07:58

Oh I missed the part where you said it happened a year ago. Now I feel really bad for your DH. You need to let it go and don't attend parties with people you don't get along with.

Agitatethebumcrack · 15/04/2023 08:03

the explanation sounds like it’s mostly on you tbh.
I don’t blame DH not getting involved.

niugboo · 15/04/2023 08:14

So you got drunk and kicked off?

he’s not upset with them because you were out of line.

Isiteveningyet · 15/04/2023 08:22

I remember this too. Something about it was her and her friends party and you weren’t invited. But fronted up anyway

Icedlatteplease · 15/04/2023 08:24

You were at their house?

You need to let it go

Crazykatie · 15/04/2023 08:34

Definitely keep well away from her, stay sober and don’t rise to her actions, if you have to be in the same room ignore her or respond with a put down and walk away with dignity.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/04/2023 08:35

takealettermsjones · 15/04/2023 07:33

I've definitely read this story on here before.

I voted before your second post, which changes things imo. Still more info needed but it sounds like you got drunk and yelled at someone in their own house?

It is possible to change your vote. I did after the update. The opening post is rather misleading. The person people involved aren’t just close to his child from a previous marriage. One of them is his ex wife and the child’s mother.

UndercoverCop · 15/04/2023 08:37

Well your husband seems to definitely have a type

CinnabarRed · 15/04/2023 08:38

Yes, you can change your vote at any time.

OP posted at 4am! That feels obsessive after a year.

roarfeckingroarr · 15/04/2023 08:39

I don't mean to be rude OP but is English your first language? I'm struggling to understand what happened and I'm not sure if that's because you're deliberately omitting details or it's a language barrier.

niugboo · 15/04/2023 08:44

roarfeckingroarr · 15/04/2023 08:39

I don't mean to be rude OP but is English your first language? I'm struggling to understand what happened and I'm not sure if that's because you're deliberately omitting details or it's a language barrier.

I think drunk. Time of the post and has form.

MaJolie · 15/04/2023 08:46

So you drunkenly kicked off in front of your four year old at a party given by your DH’s ex, whom you don’t get on with, and feel humiliated by her partner escorting you out? And you’re surprised your DH wants a civil relationship with the mother of his child from that relationship?

Isiteveningyet · 15/04/2023 08:55

I’m not sure rhe op was drunk , I think she wasn’t invited and had previous with the ex and her friends. That’s why there was tension when she arrived, at a party his ex was holding, in her own home, she wasn’t invited. She then behaved unpleasantly and was told to leave. They basically had to force her out their home.

I think st the time she was told she was the problem.

Suzi888 · 15/04/2023 08:58

Your child was there? Not the time.

I wouldn’t be going anywhere near them in future. DH can take DC.

Devonshiregal · 15/04/2023 08:59
  1. you shouldn’t get into slinging matches with her.
  2. he has to co parent so will just take the easiest route to keep the peace
  3. she sounds better at manipulating the situation than you are - she’s been sneaky and two faced and therefore looks like the good guy, you cracked and pulled her up on it in public so you look like the crazy irrational jealous one
  4. you have the right to be supported by your husband in private, (even if he keeps the peace in public by allowing his exW’s bad behaviour so it doesn’t impact their kid) so you should think about why it is he isn’t on your side.
JackHackettsMac · 15/04/2023 09:07

After that massive drip feed, I’ve changed my vote and think your DH is sensibly trying to maintain cordial relations with his ex for his children’s sake. Good for him!

You have been disingenuous with the truth in your OP so I suspect that the reason you were ejected and humiliated was probably your own fault too.

Were you the OW?
Did you go to a party at the ex’s house to stir up trouble?

niugboo · 15/04/2023 12:00

Isiteveningyet · 15/04/2023 08:55

I’m not sure rhe op was drunk , I think she wasn’t invited and had previous with the ex and her friends. That’s why there was tension when she arrived, at a party his ex was holding, in her own home, she wasn’t invited. She then behaved unpleasantly and was told to leave. They basically had to force her out their home.

I think st the time she was told she was the problem.

She says alcohol was involved. We all know
what that means.

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