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AIBU?

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Original poster

Who should pay?!

103 replies

intheclouds997 · 14/04/2023 20:01

If a relative says to you "I would like to take your DC to Alton Towers with my DC", would you expect them to cover the cost or would you pay for your DC? (One child). Will know if IABU from the responses!

OP posts:
cherish123 · 14/04/2023 21:11

I would give my dc money for the ticket, lunch (or packed lunch) and extras. Equally, if I took a child without their parents, I'd pay for them.

Ktime · 14/04/2023 21:13

They should have been clearer. Does dc want to go?

TolkiensFallow · 14/04/2023 21:15

The way it was phrased and as it’s effectively a birthday invitation I would have thought they would pay. You wouldn’t be unreasonable to assume so. However I would always offer to pay aswell…

ZenNudist · 14/04/2023 21:16

I'd always expect to pay for my own child and send money for food. Nice of them to offer to take them.

pictoosh · 14/04/2023 21:20

Eggseggseverywhere · 14/04/2023 21:06

They want a partner for their dd on the rides and want you to pay for the privilege..
Cfery imo.

This. In my experience birthday outings are the host's treat.
They will have a kid-goes-free ticket and want you to pay for yours so theirs can have a pal.
Bit off.

Probz · 14/04/2023 21:20

Bit shitty of them, but I'd keep it in mind for future things when they can put their hand in their pocket if you offer.

EasterBreak · 14/04/2023 21:20

Me and my siblings - if we say we are taking a one of the kids somewhere we pay. I'd never take my nephews anywhere and charge family

Throughalookingglass · 14/04/2023 21:22

ZenNudist · 14/04/2023 21:16

I'd always expect to pay for my own child and send money for food. Nice of them to offer to take them.

I'm not sure it was nice of them really. What are they doing other than giving a lift. Its their child's birthday. Their child will enjoy it more with someone their own age. The invited child is the person doing a nice thing by going as their plus one imo. That is how I would view it if it was me who had sent the invitation tbh.

gamerchick · 14/04/2023 21:24

I wouldn't be buying my own ticket tbh. If they back out you're stuck with a ticket. I'd give them the money so they can add it to their booking.

Or I'd do a hard pass for expecting my kid to be entertainment for theirs and have to pay for the privilege.

Stripedbag101 · 14/04/2023 21:40

intheclouds997 · 14/04/2023 20:16

The phrasing was along the lines of "for DD's birthday, we are going to Alton Towers on x date. We would love to take your dc along with us"

I would assume given the wording that they are phong.

however you know them, I don’t. Perhaps check?

Xarrie · 14/04/2023 21:41

A birthday is a bit of a drip feed.

I would offer to pay but think they were going to for a bday.

WelshNerd · 14/04/2023 21:46

If it's a birthday I would assume they were paying. Anything else I would assume i would need to pay.

Bunnichick · 14/04/2023 21:47

Now you know the deal I suppose you have a choice although presumably the DC wants to go

Holly60 · 14/04/2023 21:49

I'd definitely offer to pay. They are taking your DC out for a whole day treat so it seems fair to at least offer

Throughalookingglass · 14/04/2023 21:51

Holly60 · 14/04/2023 21:49

I'd definitely offer to pay. They are taking your DC out for a whole day treat so it seems fair to at least offer

Kind of like the hairdresser giving you a treat by doing your hair even though you pay them to do it?

TheRookie · 14/04/2023 21:53

I would just say to anyone, friend or relative, yes sounds perfect let me know how much I owe you 😘

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 14/04/2023 21:55

I would always offer to pay for my DC.
But I would also pay for any child I invited out with me.

I think both parties should be offering to at here, and the polite thing would be for the host to say "no, don't be silly, just send some pocket money for the gift shop!"

Slidingdowntherainbow · 14/04/2023 21:58

YANBU. I'd also think they were paying for the ticket - as to me, it sounds like either a birthday celebration type arrangement or they want to take your child to entertain theirs.

If they had said "we're thinking of going to Alton Towers, do you guys fancy coming?" I'd have assumed I'd pay. But the way they asked, it's a bit weird they want you to pay for the ticket.

But yes, pay anyway and send with some money for lunch. I guess everyone communicates in a different way (and maybe they're short on cash?)

Isiteveningyet · 14/04/2023 22:00

I’d fully expect to pay and certainly offer in this circumstance. I’d find not offering and just assuming quire grabby

FinallyHere · 14/04/2023 22:01

Thursa · 14/04/2023 20:03

If we invited our kids friends out with us we paid for them. If our kids were invited places we offered to pay.

This v

johnd2 · 14/04/2023 22:04

there's no "should" about it. I would say whoever has agreed to pay should pay.
If you didn't agree then that's on you as much as them.
Ideally it should be discussed up front but better late than too late.
I agree the message could have been clearer but there's nothing to stop you replying "yes please, is it your treat or are you intending to split the cost?" Together with any other relevant information.
Consider it a lesson learnt to be more proactive.
Hope they enjoy it though!

IverGo · 14/04/2023 22:13

If the relative said they wanted to take my child to Alton Towers, I would expect that they were paying for them to go.

DisforDarkChocolate · 14/04/2023 22:15

If I asked someone I would not expect them to pay.

If someone asked me I'd offer to pay.

Too bloody British for my own good!

itsmylife7 · 14/04/2023 22:25

The was it was worded they should pay. If you'd said can you take dc with you, then you pay.

I'd be pissed of because
no 1 they asked.
no 2 tickets are not cheap.

Dunnoburt · 14/04/2023 22:44

I'd defo offer to pay.....

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