Exes family haven't acknowledged our child?

[awesomebaby]

Is this normal and AIBU to be upset?

My ex and I split up during pregnancy, and I had our baby recently.

Ex has been seeing baby since they were born (once a week-ish), however his family have not acknowledged the birth at all.

By that I mean they haven't asked to see baby or meet them, not sent a card or a congratulations.

My own family would never do this, so I am struggling to get my head around.

I’d assume they don’t know about baby or don’t know it’s been born yet. Has he definitely told them?

How long were you together and what was the reason for the split? Is he close to his family?

They definitely know, his mother phoned when he was visiting me in hospital after the birth. He has also spoke to his Dad on the phone in front of me and said "I'm with awesomebaby and Dchild at the moment".

How old is the baby?

A bit weird yes...

How long were you with him? Did you have a good relationship with them? How have they been during your pregnancy?

I mean regardless it seems odd not to want to see their grandchild, regardless of the fact you are no longer in a relationship with their son, but presumably there is some back story here?

Baby is 1 month old.

Together 3 years, and had a normal relationship with his family.

Broke up because he cheated on me.

Wow in that case it is very weird.

Maybe they feel ashamed on his behalf and are nervous about getting in touch. Why don’t you reach out?

Is he acknowledging it as his baby? eg did he say I’m with Jane and her baby or I’m with Jane and my son.
They may be keeping a distance if things are awkward eg don’t want to annoy you do you stop him seeing baby but i’d agree odd not to ask to see grandchild or buy a gift if things are ok between you (co parenting)

Normal for me. My exes family have never met my 6 year old, (he has no parents) but he has siblings etc and they've never met or been interested in our 6 year-old never sent a birthday card Xmas card nothing never asked to see her. Definitely know she exists!

What do you mean by acknowledging? Could they be doing it without you being aware of it, if they’re talking directly to him?

Maybe they sent a card etc to your ex but not to you? They might be more involved later on when your ex starts having time with your child without you there.

That's really strange then given the circumstances, do you think they might be waiting for an invite?

Have you asked him? They may have given gifts/money to him to pass on and he hasn’t.

I don't think they've sent a card to my ex, as he has brought around cards and gifts that his friends have given for baby when he has come to see them.

He also brought a card around from a distant family member on his side. I'm assuming if his immediate family had sent a card or anything for baby he would have done the same.

I haven't reached out as during the pregnancy when we broke up ex told me that his family would prefer to receive updates on baby from him and not me anymore.

I imagine they’ve probably given presents to him. I imagine they are waiting until he has the baby to visit. I imagine it’s also probably awkward.

None of the above is reasonable btw.

By acknowledge I suppose I just mean any recognition of babies existence.

I don't even mean cards and gifts... just a simple messaged relayed from my ex even for example "Mum and Dad said congratulations"... or "Mum and Dad said congratulations and if it's okay would like to meet baby when you are feeling up to it".

I imagine it's awkard and not what they expected having their first grandchild with the parents split maybe they are scared about over stepping or going through him as requested so don't want to upset their son.

They did say (according to him) that we had ruined their first experience of a grandchild. This was apparently said when I was pregnant.

This all sounds like we are very young, but we aren't.

I'm guessing they are probably finding it really awkward and/or are embarrassed by the circumstances. Maybe they are worried that if they visit they will have to discuss the break-up and him cheating.

Or maybe they think you may get back together and are waiting to see which way the land.

Some people lack the social skills or emotional intelligence to deal with this sort of situation. Or they close ranks.

I wonder what they have been told?

they could just be unpleasant people. If they could believe for example that you cheated, or that you dumped their son and are making access awkward.

could you reach out and invite them round for coffee and to meet their grandchild. Invite your ex too? If you want to see them that is.

I suppose it isn't the best situation and maybe it is awkward for them. I just thought a card or a congratulations passed on as some small acknowledgment that baby is here and they have a grandchild would be a small start... surely just appearing to ignore it would make it more awkward?

Ex has been seeing baby and we are fine and there's been no issue there at all.

We definitely won't be getting back together so if they are waiting on that it would be a long time!

I did wonder if he has told them some rubbish in regards to the breakup. He is a bit of a golden boy so that's possible.

Regardless though I just didn't feel like it's normal to ignore their grandchild.

I cannot image the golden child has told his parents he cheated on you. Who knows what he has said. Let him deal with his parents. Make not dealing with them a blessing for you.

It could be that they don't know what to say..or hiw to approach the situation.

they could be on mn and know how inlaws are not allowed to be interested

I'm guessing the version of events he has told them would vary greatly from yours.

Exactly this.