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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not tell him I’m pregnant

52 replies

ConfusedMama92 · 13/04/2023 16:10

I was stealthed. That’s when a man removes the condom without telling the woman.

it’s been reported and it was a one night thing with no other contact. However I’ve now found out I’m pregnant despite taking the morning after pill.

am I being unreasonable by not telling him? He effectively sexually assaulted me and there’s no way I want a man like that in my child’s life.

OP posts:
LuckyStone · 13/04/2023 16:14

There is no need to tell the horrible bastard. Safe yourself all the hassle he could potentially put you through if he knew. Someone like him has NO right to know.

LuckyStone · 13/04/2023 16:14

There is no need to tell the horrible bastard. Safe yourself all the hassle he could potentially put you through if he knew. Someone like him has NO right to know.

GoodChat · 13/04/2023 16:15

Don't tell him. Is there any way he'll find out from anyone else?

lunar1 · 13/04/2023 16:16

I wouldn't tell someone who assaulted me either.

Inthesamesinkingboat · 13/04/2023 16:17

Don’t tell him. If he hears from someone else tell him it’s someone else’s. You don’t need someone like this in your life. Stay well and focus on you

Original poster
ConfusedMama92 · 13/04/2023 16:17

Thank you girls I was absolutely horrified.

TMI but we had finished having sex and there was some of his semen was on the floor so he obviously took it off but I didn’t let on I saw.

we don’t know any mutual people thankfully so I don’t think so

OP posts:
GetYourActTogether1 · 13/04/2023 16:17

Nope don’t tell him, him knowing will only add complications to your life.

violetrain1 · 13/04/2023 16:18

Why didn't you take the morning after pill?

violetrain1 · 13/04/2023 16:18

Oh sorry you did!

Teapleasemilknosugar · 13/04/2023 16:19

He sounds a delight. Don't tell him. Get yourself checked for STIs as well just in case! But make all decisions on your pregnancy and baby yourself. Good luck

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 13/04/2023 16:22

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Florissante · 13/04/2023 16:33

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GoodChat · 13/04/2023 16:34

@Florissante she was using a condom and he removed it during sex.

Bunda · 13/04/2023 16:37

So sorry this happened to you

Sapphire387 · 13/04/2023 16:38

Is termination an option? I imagine going through with having this baby might be traumatic.

Florissante · 13/04/2023 16:40

@GoodChat, since when do women use condoms?

Original poster
ConfusedMama92 · 13/04/2023 16:41

Sapphire387 · 13/04/2023 16:38

Is termination an option? I imagine going through with having this baby might be traumatic.

This is something I’m considering…heads a bit all over the place

OP posts:
LeanneTen · 13/04/2023 16:42

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GoodChat · 13/04/2023 16:44

Florissante · 13/04/2023 16:40

@GoodChat, since when do women use condoms?

Oh for god sake THEY used a condom.

IamnotSethRogan · 13/04/2023 16:46

Florissante I've reported your incredibly twatty post

billy1966 · 13/04/2023 16:49

You owe that scumbag nothing.

I think a termination would be wise if that is what you want.

Don't derail your life because of a scumbag.

You want to be able to move on from this.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 13/04/2023 16:50

Absolutely do not tell him of you don't want to.

Make your decision based on what you want to do in this situation.

Shame on the posters claiming she didn't use contraception, what the flaming hell is a condom if it's not contraception??! We shouldn't have to "double up" just in case the guys a prick!! That's no better blaming a woman's choice of clothing for her being raped.... give your heads a wobble.

Original poster
ConfusedMama92 · 13/04/2023 16:50

Thank you everyone, I am completely shocked and I think a termination is probably on the cards.

I was just having a bit of fun and made sure, or so I thought, that he used protection. I understand having a one night stand isn’t for everyone

OP posts:
nopenotplaying · 13/04/2023 16:51

I'm sorry to hear this. Should you not report to the police?

Greenfree · 13/04/2023 16:52

I'm not sure what I would do in this situation and i hope your ok after been assaulted in this way. I think I would still tell him as I'm not sure how fair it would if you have the child and they never got to know their father. How would you explain that to them? I would probably wait until after the baby is born to tell him so he can't cause any additional stress.

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