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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Register baby name, ARS or AS?

109 replies

HappyButHangry · 13/04/2023 01:16

DH will be registering our baby's name tomorrow

My maiden name begins with R. DH's last name begins with S. New DC is Alice.
We had always said my maiden name would be all our children's middle name because it is sentimental to me. We didn't know new baby would be called Alice until we saw her. (we were stuck between Alice and something else)

Anyway her initials will be ARS if we give her my maiden name as her middle name. And I feel like it's too close to arse 🍑 and I can't bring myself to register her with that name now as her initials will be ARS. AIBU?

OP posts:
Albiboba · 13/04/2023 07:47

You’re over thinking it imo. I’ve never once seen a middle name included when using initials.

Brieandcamembert · 13/04/2023 08:00

I have to be honest. It's weirdly juvenile to have worked out what initials spell out. I couldn't even tell you what my child's initials spell as I e never thought about it.

JingleBellez · 13/04/2023 08:00

Nothing that can be misread as ARs3

TenoringBehind · 13/04/2023 08:01

I would add another name after Alice to change it from ARS.

funnily enough I was talking to a friend yesterday who said that children used to make fun of her at school because of the word that her initials spelt out

useitorlose · 13/04/2023 08:06

My daughter's initials are LES. Took me a decade to notice.

SquashyMushy · 13/04/2023 08:07

I have never IRL ever experienced or heard about any children teasing each other for their initials (and in my job I am exposed to lots of people who would mention these things). The breadth and out there ness of first names now I think means kids don't really give a fudge either, they just accept oh my friend is called Buzz or John and that's it.

I'd be hard pushed to tell you what any but my closest friends middle names are, some I still don't know. No one at work would know my middle name, no name badges have initials anywhere I've worked and emails have always just been first initial and surname.

I don't know my kids' friends middle names and I'm pretty sure they don't know mine.

I wouldn't change my kids name purely because their initials might vaguely look like a word that some random child might think was amusing in the unlikely event they knew it or cared as much as people on mumsnet think they will. Grin

liveforsummer · 13/04/2023 08:07

GolfForBrains · 13/04/2023 07:39

Now you have realised, YABU go ahead giving your daughter a name for which she might be teased. She might be one of those who never uses her initials. She might be someone like me who spent her primary school days being nicknamed something rude (think along the lines of bum or willy, a childish word based on my initials) and then went into a job where every letter I have sent for the last 23 years has had my initials on it and even now we write fewer letters, my IT user name and all references to me on the system are to my three letter initials. Thank goodness I got married during this period! Just pick another name and pop it between Alice and your maiden name.

But I mean hey - it might be fine. 🤔

Why on earth did you include your middle name when setting up your things at work if it had caused you so many issues over the years? My job only has my dirt and surname and the school only has DC's on the register as that's what I wrote on the form. I don't include middle names on flight tickets etc. there is absolutely no need to include middle names and I've never come across a situation where anyone does

eatdrinkandbemerry · 13/04/2023 08:09

Stick with what you want. It's not very often you use your initials and when she's older if she's in a sports club ect ect it would be A S printed on her shirt anyway.

christmastreefarm · 13/04/2023 08:12

RememberingGoodTimes · 13/04/2023 06:32

How often do you write your full initials like that?

I'm mid thirties and can't remember a single time I've written my initials together like that.

Lots of schools near me have u inform backpacks. They have initials embroidered on them to differentiate one from another.

So every time you walk anywhere in uniform your initials are there for all to see.....

Squirrelsnut · 13/04/2023 08:15

At my workplace people's full initials are used all the time on lists, emails etc. In fact people sometimes refer to each other by their 'initial name'.
So I wouldn't land her with ARS, personally

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 13/04/2023 08:17

I would try to avoid ARS.

My DB’s initials were RCS and he was often called Arsey at school. He’s a robust type and it never really bothered him, but it might well have been an issue with a different child.

Sugargliderwombat · 13/04/2023 08:20

When EVER do people look at initials ? Just do your middle name x

MaltedCow · 13/04/2023 08:20

I think it's more of an issue if you were double barrelling as it's more likely to use the 3 initials then (my stepson's email they gave him at school is first initial and then the initials of both double barrelled names) as a middle name I don't think it's a particularly big deal.

I do remember a girl at school with the initials RAT but only because her mum had the initials embroidered on her school bag 🙈

liveforsummer · 13/04/2023 08:22

Squirrelsnut · 13/04/2023 08:15

At my workplace people's full initials are used all the time on lists, emails etc. In fact people sometimes refer to each other by their 'initial name'.
So I wouldn't land her with ARS, personally

If you didn't like your initials surely you'd just write you first and surname on your job application therefore only those initials would be used? I wouldn't think to write my middle name on anything like that anyway despite it not spelling anything unfortunate.

Whatthediddlyfeck · 13/04/2023 08:23

AngelDelightUK · 13/04/2023 07:07

I like ARS as if you said it out loud it sounds like “ours” which she is. But if it’s going to bother you then add another in. Could one of her grandmothers names work?

Maybe in your accent it sounds like ours but in mine it sounds like arse!

Use your alternative forename as a middle name then best of both worlds!

MaltedCow · 13/04/2023 08:23

Yes but surely not all include middle names @christmastreefarm ?

My daughter has her initials embroidered on her football jacket but not her middle name, in fact none of the children have 3 initials on them that I've seen.

RooRooCooChoo · 13/04/2023 08:25

My initials are ARS. Only one person in my life has made the arse connection, and I went to a school where my initials had to be embroidered on my games kit 🤷‍♀️

Xarrie · 13/04/2023 08:27

Don't call her ARS. Delay the appointment

latetothefisting · 13/04/2023 08:28

FeetOnly · 13/04/2023 05:42

I can't think of a single time anyone uses kids' initials in any other capacity than sounding them out like you have, 'to see if they match'.

Seriously? Have you never been to school? Yes, they sound them out. Then when they realise your initials spell something (especially a rude word) it becomes your nickname or insult of choice for the rest of your time at school.

That's without the school/uni/work email systems which insist on using your initials and can't be changed because if they change yours, everyone would want theirs changed.

I never use my middle name
Op doesn't have to put it down on the school enrollment form and her dd can choose just to not tell other kids if you really think it's an issue

Arse isn't exactly a word used by most 7 year olds anyway is it? It would be worse if her initials were BUM or something.

My uni/work emails again gave never used 2 initials, either it's firstname.surname@ or if 2 initials HAD to be used ARSmith@ doesn't look like anything! Some unis just do random number and letter strings now for data protection/confidentiality (e.g. anonymous essay submission) purposes

The only thing she might have to watch out for is if she joins the police as you usually produce evidence with your initials - but again you don't HAVE to use a middle name.

Think you're overthinking it tbh. I'd just use ARS and if it ever becomes an issue she can just not state the middle name.

TulipsTwoLips · 13/04/2023 08:29

Never occurred to me to notice if initials spelt out moderately rude words. I had to stop and think about mine, which are FCK! No-one has ever said anything about it.

UnfortunateTypo · 13/04/2023 08:29

No one, including my daughter has noticed for 20 years that her initials are LEG. So go with the name you love :)

therarebear · 13/04/2023 08:34

All children born into my husband's family, for 5 generations now, have a particular middle name. But they all have another middle name that goes before it that's individual to them. It's funny, but I don't recall too many times when I've seen my full initials written out, but on my husband's old school and uni things (we've just been decluttering at his Dad's place) his full set of initials is on EVERYTHING! I wouldn't leave it as ARS if you can manage to pick another name before your appointment.

2bazookas · 13/04/2023 08:35

Just register an additional (throwaway) name like Carol. Olive. Iris so that her initials form some other word. ARCS, ARIS, AROS. Or just use an additional initial. Alice Rose O. Smith.

Rosula · 13/04/2023 08:35

Ignore people who claim this won't be noticed. You can be 100% sure it will. You need to give your child a second middle name.

Rosula · 13/04/2023 08:36

2bazookas · 13/04/2023 08:35

Just register an additional (throwaway) name like Carol. Olive. Iris so that her initials form some other word. ARCS, ARIS, AROS. Or just use an additional initial. Alice Rose O. Smith.

Why do they need to form another word? Something like AJRS would be absolutely fine.