Page 2 | From what sort of age would you assume a child in a queue is the customer?

SarahAndQuack · 2023-04-12T15:16:14+00:00

Today I promised my DD she could choose a pudding at M&S. We put a few other bits in the trolley too. When we got to the till I saw they didn't have daffodils there (they usually do), so I gave DD a £20 note and told her to start unloading the shopping as soon as there was space. She knows how to do this. I went to get daffodils from the flower stand. When I got back, someone had come along and put her trolley in front of DD's. DD says the woman didn't say anything to her, just walked round her with the trolley. DD is six; she is quite small for her age. Would you have assumed a child that age wasn't in the queue?

DragonDoor · 12/04/2023 16:54

I pay for most things by card. To be honest, I would be genuinely surprised if I saw a child independently paying for a trolley worth of shopping in a supermarket checkout.

However,I still wouldn’t have pushed past- I’d be expecting a parent to appear and pay at any moment.

Only if visibly holding a note in their hand , would realise the child had the means to pay.

Would be different at a self service or a counter, as smaller amounts are usually spent.

MrsMullerBecameABaby · 12/04/2023 16:56

I'd see a 6 year old with a bag of sweets or other pocket money item as a customer and be sure they had space and time to go through the till.

I'd see a 6 year old with a trolley as a parent 's attempt to use the child and trolley to reserve a place in the queue before they've actually finished shopping. That's incredibly irritating.

As a customer with a trolley full of groceries - 12 maybe. Realistically if it's more than they can carry they'll be a placeholder for a parent or grandparent queue blocking but a 12 year old might be doing a small shop alone and walking/ busing home...

ReadersD1gest · 12/04/2023 16:58

Why didn't you send the child to get the flowers instead, op? It seems the more obvious thing to do.

deveronvalley · 12/04/2023 16:59

Depends on the set-up of the checkout, I can't really picture it where someone could push past someone obviously waiting in line as that wouldn't really be possible in my one, I would think if there was any doubt and enough of a gap to push a trolley through, it's probably reasonable of the lady to assume that a small 6 year old is just waiting for their parent to return. Having said that, my 10 year old son often goes up to pay for small things by himself in shops and I have seen a few times the person behind in the queue go to put their stuff at the till, assuming he's about to leave with the (unrelated) adult in front of him who has just finished - he never gives way though. I think some people are 'blind' to children and assume they are just an appendage of an adult!

RufustheSpeculatingreindeer · 12/04/2023 17:04

I always assume if they are in front of me in the queue that they are the customer

ive had to correct people both serving and in queues when they’ve ignored a child, only on the odd occasion

once i left my three children at a four seater table in a food hall once and came back to find that an adult had just walked up to the table and taken the fourth chair!!! Didnt ask them…just took it!!! my children were really worried!

some people are twats

ReadersD1gest · 12/04/2023 17:05

RufustheSpeculatingreindeer · 12/04/2023 17:04

I always assume if they are in front of me in the queue that they are the customer

ive had to correct people both serving and in queues when they’ve ignored a child, only on the odd occasion

once i left my three children at a four seater table in a food hall once and came back to find that an adult had just walked up to the table and taken the fourth chair!!! Didnt ask them…just took it!!! my children were really worried!

some people are twats

A 6 year old with a full trolley is not "obviously the customer", come on! 😂

RufustheSpeculatingreindeer · 12/04/2023 17:07

ReadersD1gest · 12/04/2023 17:05

A 6 year old with a full trolley is not "obviously the customer", come on! 😂

Show quote history

You know what i mean 😀 though i agree i could have phrased it better

i wouldn’t push past a child in a queue…

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 12/04/2023 17:08

If she was in front I would assume she was in the queue - I would probably incorrectly assume she was with whoever was in front of her. If there was no adult around, I might worry that she was lost, so I'd keep an eye to see if an adult appeared.

Original poster

SarahAndQuack · 12/04/2023 17:11

ReadersD1gest · 12/04/2023 16:58

Why didn't you send the child to get the flowers instead, op? It seems the more obvious thing to do.

Because I'd already told her she could buy her treat. She likes stacking the belt and packing shopping, and she's as quick as I would be in Marks (I wouldn't do it in Aldi where you have to be speedy).

OP posts:

Original poster

SarahAndQuack · 12/04/2023 17:12

MrsMullerBecameABaby · 12/04/2023 16:56

I'd see a 6 year old with a bag of sweets or other pocket money item as a customer and be sure they had space and time to go through the till.

I'd see a 6 year old with a trolley as a parent 's attempt to use the child and trolley to reserve a place in the queue before they've actually finished shopping. That's incredibly irritating.

As a customer with a trolley full of groceries - 12 maybe. Realistically if it's more than they can carry they'll be a placeholder for a parent or grandparent queue blocking but a 12 year old might be doing a small shop alone and walking/ busing home...

It wasn't more than she could carry, but also not obviously only 'child' stuff (there was a pack of mini chicken kievs in there, because they are the food of the gods).

OP posts:

FlounderingFruitcake · 12/04/2023 17:16

A 6YO with a trolley is very obviously a placeholder, no one in their right mind would think they’re shopping alone with a trolley. If the belt was starting to empty then I see why someone went round her because they weren’t to know when you’d reappear and fair enough that they don’t want to start a conversation with a strange child. If they just barged in before that happened then they were a CF who took advantage. But clearly your 6YO isn’t mature or assertive enough to deal with that, which is totally understandable- she’s only 6!! I just wouldn’t leave her at the checkout again.

Rockbird · 12/04/2023 17:16

I'd have asked her, just as I would ask anyone who looks like they could be in a queue. Very rude if the women to push past just because it was a child.

Saracen · 12/04/2023 17:18

For me it would depend on the child's behaviour more than their age. Your daughter was unloading items onto the belt, so she was clearly shopping. If she had no trolley and was engrossed in a magazine, even if she was by the till, I would have assumed she was just browsing.

Also depends what sort of queue it is. Kids of various ages might be queueing on their own in a supermarket, but at the doctor's surgery I'd think a young child wasn't queueing.

Original poster

SarahAndQuack · 12/04/2023 17:19

FlounderingFruitcake · 12/04/2023 17:16

A 6YO with a trolley is very obviously a placeholder, no one in their right mind would think they’re shopping alone with a trolley. If the belt was starting to empty then I see why someone went round her because they weren’t to know when you’d reappear and fair enough that they don’t want to start a conversation with a strange child. If they just barged in before that happened then they were a CF who took advantage. But clearly your 6YO isn’t mature or assertive enough to deal with that, which is totally understandable- she’s only 6!! I just wouldn’t leave her at the checkout again.

At what age would you, though?

OP posts:

redyellowpinkbluegreen · 12/04/2023 17:21

Wow that is so rude! People used to do this to me when I was a kid so I always ask kids if they're in the line, and if I see anyone pushing in front of a kid I always say something. Really really winds me up

Original poster

SarahAndQuack · 12/04/2023 17:22

Saracen · 12/04/2023 17:18

For me it would depend on the child's behaviour more than their age. Your daughter was unloading items onto the belt, so she was clearly shopping. If she had no trolley and was engrossed in a magazine, even if she was by the till, I would have assumed she was just browsing.

Also depends what sort of queue it is. Kids of various ages might be queueing on their own in a supermarket, but at the doctor's surgery I'd think a young child wasn't queueing.

No, she'd not started unloading. Most of the belt was still full someone else's shopping (belonging to the person who'd been in front of DD when I left her). I do understand DD might not have immediately picked something up to put on the belt the instant a space became clear (because I didn't see this bit), but she can't have been terribly slow on the uptake as the other woman had only got space to put down a couple of things.

And that makes sense about the doctor's surgery. I can't see a reason I'd get DD to do that on her own, though - with the shopping, it's a life lesson you have to learn at some stage, but if she were ill obviously I'd be with her!

OP posts:

AskMeMore · 12/04/2023 17:22

Ollybob · 12/04/2023 16:25

Depends if she was hanging back at the end of the till and the previous shopper was done so looked like she was just waiting for a parent.
As the other lady had room to manoeuver around her I'd say it probably didn't look like she was in the queue and I would probably done the same, maybe asking if she was next though.

I agree. Someone in the queue does not leave enough room to manoevre a trolley around. Marks and Spencers do not tend to have much space at the tills. It is normal to see people standing with trolleys while they figure out where they are going or someone comes back to them. I doubt this was deliberate.

Tree543 · 12/04/2023 17:24

Had your daughter put your shopping onto the belt? If not it depends where she was actually standing. If she was just waiting vaguely in the vicinity of the checkout then she might not have looked as though she wasnt in the queue.

Patchworksack · 12/04/2023 17:25

I think the woman was rude but I’ve had the same problem in local shops. I often send the kids in with money to get one or two items and I wait outside and other shoppers assume they are with another adult and queue jump. They need to develop a bit of queue presence - it’s all part of the learning curve.

Tree543 · 12/04/2023 17:25

*might have

Original poster

SarahAndQuack · 12/04/2023 17:26

AskMeMore · 12/04/2023 17:22

I agree. Someone in the queue does not leave enough room to manoevre a trolley around. Marks and Spencers do not tend to have much space at the tills. It is normal to see people standing with trolleys while they figure out where they are going or someone comes back to them. I doubt this was deliberate.

Show quote history

Well, there is room. DD had her trolly at the end of the belt; the other woman had her trolley in front of her as she was unloading. There was plenty of space. I'm not sure how to describe it so you can visualise it.

OP posts:

ReadersD1gest · 12/04/2023 17:29

It was time for the next customer, and your daughter hadn't moved forward to start unloading her trolley 🤷🏻‍♀️
All the more reason to suppose you'd just left her there to hold your place in the queue.

FlounderingFruitcake · 12/04/2023 17:30

SarahAndQuack · 12/04/2023 17:19

At what age would you, though?

Show quote history

Whenever she’s old enough to actually push the trolley forward so there’s no gap and start unloading immediately without hesitation and if required say ‘excuse me I’m in the queue’ to any would CFs. Maybe about 8/9 but you know your DC best of all.

maddy68 · 12/04/2023 17:31

I would have assumed she was with the person in front tbh

SnapBang · 12/04/2023 17:33

Honestly if I saw a small child next to a trolley, I’d assume they were with a parent who’d nipped off to get something and left the queue so no, I wouldn’t just wait indefinitely behind them for the parent to come back. I wouldn’t think they’d be paying for their shopping - different if they’re stood there with a chocolate bar and a pound coin or something.