Making a "healthy" meal plan is futile

[MooseBreath]

I'm trying to lose weight. Over my 20s and after having 2 kids, I am no longer a good weight and I am trying to fix that. It is entirely because my portion control is crap and I love crisps.

I'm trying to eat healthier with weight loss in mind, without letting my children see their mother struggling with food. I also want them to know that moderation is key. We walk the dog every day for 45 minutes and have frequent dance parties and play active games throughout the day.

I thought my plan was healthy, but when I add up calories, it just works out that I won't be losing any weight at all (1722cal). No crisps, no sweets, no baked goods. But I don't know what to cut out without losing the energy to care for my boys and dog!
Breakfast: Raisin granola in a cup of milk
Lunch: Scrambled eggs, baked beans, and avocado with a slice of toast
Snack: Carrots, cucumber, and celery with hummus
Dinner: Baked gnocchi casserole with bacon

I don't see how I can make this better without starving myself. AIBU that demonstrating moderation will never work while I'm trying to lose weight?

This is extremely carbon heavy .
Granola full of sugar and lots of cards.
Why are you having beans for lunch ? Full of sugar and cards.
Gnocchi???! Come on now surely you can see why you aren't losing weight.

@Sausage1989 , instant porridge is basically just sugar, but the apple and porridge made from rolled oats will contain fibre and vits and mins.

*Carb heavy
** carbs

I have lost a stone by cutting my portion sizes by one third and not having seconds. I haven't changed my eating habits at all - it's taken nearly 4 months to lose it but I haven't missed out on anything,

Depending on your current weight, you can absolutely lose weight on 1700 cals a day. Use the James Smith Academy calculator (google) to check what you should aim for a week dependant on your current weight, height etc. Tracking using an app like Nutracheck helps keep me accountable. For context, I'm currently 12.5 stone and I eat 1700 calories a day and have been losing about 1lb a week.

Go for filling breakfast such as
Over night oats
Eggs
Yoghurt and berries

Lunch
Soup and salad
Jacket
Beans on toast

Dinner
Have what the family is having but a smaller portion.
Look out for hidden liquid calories.

Also, whilst healthier eating is obviously a bonus, calorie counting allows a balanced diet and treats in moderation. You could lose weight eating what you showed in your OP

@ReliantRobyn of course you can eat beans and gnocchi. But just smaller portions
OP doesn't say if they're reduced sugar beans
Gnocchi is potato. Small portion with a veg tomato sauce and a big salad on the side is fine

A typical breakfast for me is fruit and yoghurt or fruit and a GF breakfast bar
lunch is something with salad, soup or a jacket potato
evening meals are protein with veg and occasionally rice or GF pasta (last night was cod stuffed with lemon and herb butter wrapped in bacon with a side of shredded cabbage, edame beans and purple sprouting broccoli)

Don't be bloody ridiculous.

Granola for breakfast, 3 lunches for the price of one and Gnocchi with bacon for dinner and you just can’t see what more you could be doing?!

Try having avo and egg for breakfast (no beans or toast)
Salad with a drizzle of good olive oil and a small portion of protein (size of your palm) for lunch
Veg and hummus is fine (no more than 1/3 small pot of hummus a day though)
Veg stew with beans (not baked beans, full of sugar) for dinner with a small piece of bread or handful or rice.
2l of water a day, no lattes or Costa type drinks, some of those are more calories than a meal.

Then you’ll lose weight fine. I can’t see the issue here.

It would be much easier imo to use smallish plates to eat from, and fill half of every plate with vegetables at lunch and dinner, and half of the the plate with fruit at lunch.

That way you will end up with a healthier balance overall.

Maybe approach it by learning a bit more about nutrition, and benefits of certain foods? That might be useful. And a good thing to teach children. Lots of stuff is marketed as healthy but isn't e.g. granola. In actuality something like porridge with strawberries would be 100% better for you, and still filling.

It would be much easier imo to use smallish plates to eat from, and fill half of every plate with vegetables at lunch and dinner, and half of the the plate with fruit at lunch.

That way you will end up with a healthier balance overall.

Maybe approach it by learning a bit more about nutrition, and benefits of certain foods? That might be useful. And a good thing to teach children. Lots of stuff is marketed as healthy but isn't e.g. granola. In actuality something like porridge with strawberries would be 100% better for you, and still filling.

Are you breastfeeding? That can make it harder for some women to lose weight.

Have you calculated your TDEE? I wouldn’t be surprised if you could lose weight eating around 1700 calories. Generally about 300-500 calories less than your TDEE should be enough to lose weight gradually without feeling hungry all the time.

I also agree with the suggestions to add some strength training in to help with building some muscle as well.

I used to weigh 16st and now I weigh 9.7st and I’ve maintained that loss for over 5 years. Through 2 pregnancies and I now have 2 toddlers.

Firstly, it takes courage to set out on this journey so well done and also well done for asking for help.

Here would be my suggestion. I’ll put a few options for each meal so just pick one

Breakfast:
wholegrain toast
medium bowl of porridge with fruit/honey
low sugar cereal and skim milk
yoghurt and fruit

snack:
fruit
cereal bar or rice cakes (good for sharing with kids)
crumpet
wholegrain toast
yoghurt
plain biscuit

Lunch:
eggs on toast
beans on toast
sandwich with salad
pasta with protein
jacket potato with plain filling (cheese…etc) and salad
fish and vegetables
Soup and bread

snack:
fruit
cereal bar or rice cakes (good for sharing with kids)
crumpet
wholegrain toast
yoghurt
plain biscuit

Dinner:
eggs on toast
beans on toast
sandwich with salad
pasta with protein
jacket potato with plain filling (cheese…etc) and salad
fish and vegetables
soup and bread

Advice

• Eat your lunch/dinner from side plates for portion control
• Don’t pick all carbs. If your breakfast is toast don’t make your snacks toast and your meals include bread too. Mix it up.
• Don’t layer up. Dishes that involve bacon AND cheese AND creamy sauce for example will be unhealthy. Just pick one thing. Bacon pasta or cheese pasta or creamy pasta sauce.

I see the ED undercover of no carbs arrived

I cut out biscuits and cake (already a healthy weight) but NOTHING ELSE. Still had McDonald’s, sweets, crisps, milkshakes etc. and lost a stone in 3 months.

just cut out your worst offenders and have sensible portions. No calorie counting necessary.

Good Lord. where do you get your avocados from? That's the calorific value of three average supermarket avocados, so yours must be huge.

You're bound to get a good cross-section of advice here... I've flicked through the first page and already spotted "cut calories further", "cut fat", and "cut carbs"! 😁

The fact is that no one on here knows which method will work for your metabolism, body type, circumstances, etc.

Tis a fact though, that usually the people yelping "moderation is key" are those that naturally eat fairly moderately - for those who struggle with weight loss or maintenance, eating moderately is bloody difficult and counting calories thoroughly soul-sucking.

The Time Restricted Eating suggestion is the best one I've seen - do a bit of research on that. Start 12:12 or 14:10 and work up to 16:8 then you can skip breakfast altogether, and you've got more calories to spend the rest of the day. Not only that but the 16 hours of fasting are FABULOUS for your gut health and immune system, amongst other things.

I also love that I don't have to worry about feeding myself in the morning when I'm busy feeding kids and getting them to school.

Preach

I do have a child under 1, but I'm not breastfeeding. When I started taking birth control again, my weight went way up.

Due to my job, I definitely know how to keep active and maintain my best fitness. But nutrition isn't really part of my job and I grew up with an extremely high metabolism where I ate loads and was rake thin while dancing 20 hours per week. Obviously this doesn't work for a 30-something SAHM, so it's a learning curve.

I will repeat...I will not be cutting out carbs. I want to teach moderation and I also want to bloody enjoy my life.

I've started adding a couple of scoops of protein powder and 50g of low fat Greek yoghurt to plain porridge for breakfast. Adds a bit of flavour whilst bumping up protein intake. 😋

grew up with an extremely high metabolism where I ate loads and was rake thin while dancing 20 hours per week.

You were really young and dance 20 hours a week. We would all be able to eat like horse in that situation 😁 Many of us did.
You will find your faves now. I agree eith some others, it needs bit more veg. You can fit amazing amount of food and tasty and satisfying food into 1700. You just need to find your faves

Your diet sounds fine to me, and unless you're small and old like me you could probably lose weight on it, but maybe slowly. I lost nearly 10 kilos just eating less and cutting out all snacks Monday to Friday except a piece of fruit if starving. And eating what I wanted at weekends.

My typical meals would be something like:

Breakfast:
1 slice of wholemeal toast with butter and Marmite
Porridge made half with water/half semi-skimmed milk with fruit and honey
5% Greek yoghurt with prunes or other fruit and honey

Lunch:
Sandwich made with 1 slice of bread but any filling plus fruit afterwards
Leftovers from dinner so usually a small portion of pasta/risotto/frittata
Soup and one slice of buttered toast
Poached egg on toast

Dinner:
Anything at all but just a bit less than I was having previously and no seconds

And no alcohol Monday to Thursday. I don't drink anything except tea with milk, water and wine at home, and once a week or so a latte or cappuccino when I'm out. I didn't cut out any food groups or restrict my eating hours. I just ate less. This worked for me.

OP, have you worked out your TDEE to get an idea of how many calories you should be consuming?