Making a "healthy" meal plan is futile

[MooseBreath]

I'm trying to lose weight. Over my 20s and after having 2 kids, I am no longer a good weight and I am trying to fix that. It is entirely because my portion control is crap and I love crisps.

I'm trying to eat healthier with weight loss in mind, without letting my children see their mother struggling with food. I also want them to know that moderation is key. We walk the dog every day for 45 minutes and have frequent dance parties and play active games throughout the day.

I thought my plan was healthy, but when I add up calories, it just works out that I won't be losing any weight at all (1722cal). No crisps, no sweets, no baked goods. But I don't know what to cut out without losing the energy to care for my boys and dog!
Breakfast: Raisin granola in a cup of milk
Lunch: Scrambled eggs, baked beans, and avocado with a slice of toast
Snack: Carrots, cucumber, and celery with hummus
Dinner: Baked gnocchi casserole with bacon

I don't see how I can make this better without starving myself. AIBU that demonstrating moderation will never work while I'm trying to lose weight?

How many calories is your dinner? That’s how I really got on top of things is a dinner under 500 calories, breakfast of 200 calories and lunch of 300-400 calories. That leaves some space for snacks.
You have to expect to be hungry for a week or two while your body adjusts; not so tired that you can’t do normal things but when you’re reducing what you normally eat you will be hungry.
Moderation and losing weight are two different things; for me moderation is about maintaining a healthy weight

Nobody said her diet is awful. She asked if she could lose weight on that. People said its unlikely.

Though in my 20s I happily ate all those things. But I wasn't trying to lose weight.

Do you have a food processor? You could make your own fresh hummus with much less oil. Tahini and chickpeas aren't fattening.

I think it's a relatively healthy diet for weight maintenance but if you want to lose weight you probably need to have more fruit and veg and less fats and carbs.

Also walking is great but doesn't burn a lot of calories for the time it takes. Would you consider adding to this by getting an exercise bike to do some more intense cardio once your children are in bed?

It's tough losing weight, good on you!

I do get you on this and also have no time for the cut out the avocado brigade. Yes it's a high fat option but it's a good nutritious option which should make you feel satiated.

I'd say looking at a good quality diet full of whole grains and f&v, 30 plants a week etc is a great basis for your family. Reduce the processed stuff as much as possible.

I think Insta can be a great resource here. Zoe nutrition Insta and podcasts are great. I did veganuary and found a load of good recipe ideas, snack ideas there etc.

You may not lose weight quickly but it should help. You will need to watch portion sizes, keep snacks for the kids etc but eating for health not weight is the way forward I reckon. Now if only I could practice what I preach.....

Granola for breakfast is offering you very little nutritionally. If you like porridge, I'd try to have that instead made with water rather than milk (if you give the oats time to soak, you really won't notice the difference). Apart from that, your diet is largely fine. Just make sure to eat consciously (not in front of the TV), chew properly and stop eating when you're full.

Tahini is absolutely rammed with calories. But it's really tasty and good for you so I think it's worth it!

I’d ditch the breakfast granola, it can be absolutely loaded with sugar and you may aswell be eating coco pops!
I’m inclined to say spread the lunch out between breakfast and lunch so scrambled eggs and beans for breakfast and avocado on toast for lunch or whatever combination you’d prefer, maybe add some grilled tomatoes with one of the other too.
And starving yourself is not necessary but feeling hungry is quite normal and nothing to be afraid of, your body will adjust.
good luck!

This is similar to my diet but I’m not trying to lose weight. And I have yoghurt and muesli for breakfast or porridge with nuts and seeds. I’d be cutting out anything processed like bacon, and sticking to a diet based as much as possible on fruit, veg, nuts, seeds, some lean meat and fish, pulses and small amount whole grain carbs.

The sensible advice is much appreciated. Going forward, a day like today will look like this:

Breakfast: Porridge with cinnamon and apple
Lunch: Scrambled egg with avocado on one slice of bread
Snack: Homemade hummus with carrots, cucumber, and celery
Dinner: 1/2 portion of the gnocchi and broccoli casserole with a side salad

Does this sound better?

Yes, it does, but you could put the details into your calorie counter to see the difference.

I find porridge the opposite of filling, as in if I have it, I'm starving an hour later. But a lot of people feel it's a good breakfast.

I've lost 3 stone by not cutting carbs or meat like bacon (I just cut the fat off). I'd say what you need more than anything is support, rather than trying to go it alone and not knowing what to have.

I follow slimming world (I know many don't like it, but it works for me and I don't find it too restrictive). I'm also currently using Intermittent Fasting to give me a little boost and eating between 12 and 8. I thought I'd be starving skipping breakfast but I feel great and my skin's even improved with the amount of water I'm drinking.

Good luck OP

Without actual portion sizes- it’s very hard to say.

For example- your ‘homemade hummus’ could still work out as a 300 calorie snack. The poster upthread is wrong- tahini is very calorific. More nutritious, but still.

I would suggest trying to have more protein or slow release carbs for breakfast instead of granola. Granola is very calorie dense and will not keep you full for long. Try some low fat yoghurt, porridge and fruit or eggs.

That and add in as many non-starchy vegetables as possible. You can eat a ton of those for very few calories and the fibre will help fill you up.

There is a Youtube channel by a NZ woman called Chelsea Mae I found really helpful when I was trying to lose weight. She explains a lot about how to eat plenty and nourish your body but also lose weight, mainly eating lots of veg and potatoes for satiety. She is vegan but a lot of the info is still helpful for non-vegans.

I'd recommend counting your steps & calories in the free version of MyFitnessPal. I lost over 4 stone last year that way.
For bread switch to the 60 calorie per slice loaf (Aldis sell it & other brands I know are Brennans). You'd be surprised how many calories regular bread has & this is a good solution I found if you like toast etc.
Switch the granola out to porridge. Have it either with skimmed milk or water, plus a couple of sugars & cinnamon. If this doesn't sound palatable use semi skimmed milk it just adds on more cals though.
A good snack is 0% fat Greek or natural yoghurt with a handful of Berries & a drizzle of honey. (I use the frozen Berries to cut costs.) You can have quite a big portion of this yogurt without adding on a huge amount of calories.
Lunches you could do toasties with low fat cheese & something like tomatoes & cucumbers? Or toast & peanut butter?
For dinner cut out the pasta for now.
Make meat with a large side of veg and/or cous cous.
Things like lean fresh burgers or turkey burgers are good meals too. You can give the kids chips as a side while you have salad. A chicken tray bake with roast potatoes, just switch out regular potatoes for sweet potatoes for you. Shepards pie, even that I'd do it regular with potatoes & cheese for the rest of the family & my portion had mashed sweet potato instead & no cheese (this is actually delicious!)
You need to enter your height weight etc into a fitness app to determine what calories you should be on. I was on 1200 for most of the year last year & managed fine.
And lastly go easy on yourself you're just starting out you'll have to tweak things as you go along.
Best of luck you can do this!

I don't see how I can make this better without starving myself.

you can eat a lot of food for 1500 calories a day, but it'll be different foods from what you're eating.

google meals under 300 calories there are plenty of sites for a variety of meals in this category, add a large helping of green vegetable son the side and eat 3x a day. If you can get 300 high protein meals all the better to mix some in for breakfast. Don't do cereal for breaking the fast. just eat a normal meal

snacks like homemade popcorn with cinnamon, ice lollies (many under 30 calories in supermarket) apples, pears, boiled egg, carrots and hummus

It sounds absolutely fine. Just watch the calories in the hummus as it's surprisingly fatty - I buy the extra low fat one from Tesco and the difference in calories compared to the regular stuff is shocking.

Do you feel hungry? Are you eating to follow your hunger?

How have you worked out that you won't lose weight on that amount of calories?

I'm like that with porridge.
Rice works for me, sometimes I make egg fried rice for breakfast. Loads of veggies and measure out the rice. Not a conventional UK breakfast but really common in SE Asia.

We are all a bit different. Generally, it is best to cut the carbs down, keep to a sensible amount of protein and eat loads of veggies to fill you up. Nobody does well if they are starving.

It looks like a nice (and tasty) balanced diet, but there is just too much overall.

Is breakfast important to you? I ask because I'm not keen but during the 80s and 90s people would say you had to eat breakfast to kick start your metabolism so I'd force myself every morning, worried I'd get fat otherwise. Once that theory was debunked I happily ditched breakfast. If you need something in the morning have half the avocado. Filling and easy to take to work etc.

Lunch, egg and beans or egg on toast or beans on toast, not all together. Watch portion size too. And skip buttering the toast unless you really want to.

snack - Ditch the hummus. Do you really need the snack? Can you have a slightly earlier dinner?

dinner with the broccoli too sounds good. Cheese and bacon are calorie dense but keep the portion modest and load up the veg.

Don't forget to count calories in drinks. I was surprised that a cup of tea with skimmed milk is about 20 cals, and I'll often have 4 or 5 cups a day. I also love wine, lest said about that the better!

It’s a healthy diet but not a low calorie one. It sounds like you need a lot of energy though if you are walking, dancing and running around after your kids. You very well might be in a calorie deficit regardless.

Do you drink coffee OP? Do you put milk and/or sugar in your coffee/tea?
How many calories do you drink per day?

As for your initial menu, it looks okay to me (early 30s, size 8), I suppose your weight loss is just slower than you want? How about adding some strength workouts, more muscle mass in your body = more calories burned throughout the day?

It’s a mindset thing.

If you are trying to lose weight then you need to do what you need to do and it will suck but once the weight is off you can start adjusting your lifestyle to match your nutrition.

If you want to eat what you posted you need to be more active. You need high intensity workouts 30+ minutes, 4-5 times per week, and no dance parties don’t count.

Walking and dance parties should be the bare minimum not something to strive for.

follow a nutrition plan online and you’ll get there. Explore with different diets: plant based, gluten free, etc.

If you want to speed things up try fasting. Start with a 12 hour fast then each week work your way up to a 24 hour fast.

this didn’t happen overnight so don’t expect overnight results. If you change your lifestyle and keep it going for your entire life you’ll be thankful when you’re old.

That sounds perfect - and better than some of the ad ice you've been given!

I know what you mean OP, however I usually find that I am only properly hungry for the first few days to a week and after that it gets much easier. I think you just have to accept hunger if you want to do a low calorie diet and work through it. It does get significantly easier once you get used to it.

I skip breakfast (intermittent fasting as some call it)
My favourite lunch is what I think might be a mumsnet "massive salad" - poached egg, whole small avocado chopped up, leaves, seeds or nuts and dressing. Very filling.
And then whatever family dinner we are having. I'm not sure on the calories but I have lost about a stone doing that.
I have fruit or nuts or sometimes a yogurt if I get starving in-between.

After years of battling with being overweight I lost 3st in my early fourties by cutting out wheat and sugar. Went from a 12/14 to a size 8. I did dairy for a couple of weeks too but found having one thing i loved to eat imperative to continuing (in my case, cheese)
I reintroduced the others and plateaued at about half a stone up. (So basically still a 2.5 stone loss)
now when I find the weight creeping back on I cut back on the wheat and dairy again.
One of the keys to managing, for me, was realising how many foods have hidden sugars (flavoured crisps, loads of sauces, yoghurts, so, so many items I would have assumed were low/no sugar)
I now check every packet of everything I buy and try to source no or very low sugar versions.
Ive realised i. The process that sugar causes me insomnia, brain fog and surpresses my immunity…so if I were to do just one elimination it would be sugar.
i do occasionally have something if I really want it…but I stick to it quite stringently.

good luck, you can do it!