Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is my employer fair to decline this? Would yours be the same?

203 replies

amazonsl · 12/04/2023 11:18

I’m not asking strictly speaking, obviously I know legally they can decline it. I’m a single mum (no relevance to the company obviously) with one dc and due to go back to work when they are one. I wanted to use my holiday to work three days a week for 6 months. This would have massively reduced nursery fees and would have helped me adjust. We work from home a lot but condensed working (4 days squeezed into 3) was also declined. Just wondered if other places would have declined this too? It’s a progressional place and I do have quite a bit of responsibility but I’m not at the top, either. I’m going to struggle so much as they’ve said I could go back four days but that doesn’t save much on nursery and im
not sure I will cope!

OP posts:
Leaningtowerofpisa · 12/04/2023 14:45

We did this at my work for a colleague coming back off May leave but for 3 months I think. can you negotiate for a more limited time? Then they phased up to 4 days part time and then finally condensed hours in 4 days to FT once they were ready.

We also struggle to cover the position and can’t cover a mat leave unless a Director level position. Other colleagues have to take the existing load for a time but I try my best to accommodate my working mothers as best I can as most of them are my most reliable and versatile employees. I find if I support them well initially to get back on their feet, find their routine and confidence I end up with a happier and more productive person who is more likely to stay than resign and usually becomes a great investment longer term as they can juggle well and enjoy the feeling of a balance between children and growing their career for when they no longer have children solely dependent on them.

Appreciate this won’t work in all industries and does have an impact on those existing employees - so I make sure to balance out carefully extra workload and reward/ recognise through whatever I have available.

Appreciate people may give up career faced with this but I would say the financial independence and career growth longer term is worth figuring out a solution for.

OlympiaLove · 12/04/2023 14:56

I wouldn’t be allowed to do this either- it comes down to demands of service for us (nurse). They also like you to have some annual leave left for the rest of the year. You might be entitled to tax free childcare though.

BoojaBooj2 · 12/04/2023 15:04

Leaningtowerofpisa · 12/04/2023 14:45

We did this at my work for a colleague coming back off May leave but for 3 months I think. can you negotiate for a more limited time? Then they phased up to 4 days part time and then finally condensed hours in 4 days to FT once they were ready.

We also struggle to cover the position and can’t cover a mat leave unless a Director level position. Other colleagues have to take the existing load for a time but I try my best to accommodate my working mothers as best I can as most of them are my most reliable and versatile employees. I find if I support them well initially to get back on their feet, find their routine and confidence I end up with a happier and more productive person who is more likely to stay than resign and usually becomes a great investment longer term as they can juggle well and enjoy the feeling of a balance between children and growing their career for when they no longer have children solely dependent on them.

Appreciate this won’t work in all industries and does have an impact on those existing employees - so I make sure to balance out carefully extra workload and reward/ recognise through whatever I have available.

Appreciate people may give up career faced with this but I would say the financial independence and career growth longer term is worth figuring out a solution for.

Well done! I think the reward/recognition and workload management is the key. And something OP can help with as well - if she's a manager of people

Zanatdy · 12/04/2023 15:07

ReadersD1gest · 12/04/2023 14:20

That's a complete piss take.

Show quote history

Sadly it’s not the first person I’ve heard of doing this. Taking working at home to mean kids can stay at home and don’t pay childcare. No way these people are giving even 50% to their jobs when caring for a baby too. Absolute piss take and unfair on colleagues

toomuchlaundry · 12/04/2023 15:09

How much holiday entitlement do you get?

yorkie99 · 12/04/2023 15:10

I’m a solo parent too. When I had my little boy I asked to work 4 days a week or compressed hours just for one year to spend more time with him whilst young. Work would not consider it at all. I had to give up my leadership position and thus career really in order to go part time. No advice really except I’m glad I made that decision, but working women are screwed with prehistoric rules like this so you have my sympathies.

GreenwichOrTwicks · 12/04/2023 15:18

I was lucky in working for a private company that allowed me one day a week AL in a similar situation but now as a TA in school have had 3 day week refused. Of course they can refuse if not workable for business/operational reasons.

Livelovebehappy · 12/04/2023 15:19

Guess it depends if there is a business need for you to be there more than three days a week. They’re running a business and can’t make sacrifices on what the business needs to run efficiently because employees have issues in their personal life’s. £60k is a lot of money in some parts of the UK, so it might just mean you downsizing from where you live and get as much as you’re entitled to off the father of your baby. I know it’s not a race to the bottom, but there are so many with two incomes who are in a worse position.

GreenwichOrTwicks · 12/04/2023 15:25

Or you take the 4 and your baby's father does the same??

Skybluepinky · 12/04/2023 15:26

I’m not shocked, I can’t see that working for many businesses.
Childcare would be so expensive for the unsocial hours u would need, most cost double b4 8 and after 5.
Can u use tax free childcare and UC childcare to help with costs?

EarringsandLipstick · 12/04/2023 15:30

but working women are screwed with prehistoric rules like this so you have my sympathies.

Your situation is nothing like OP's tho!

You were asking for a p/t contract which unfortunately your company couldn't accommodate (my management role can also not be done p/t)

OP wants to use all her annual leave in 6 months to work p/t while being paid f/t. For most organisations, this is unworkable as they'll have no cover for 2 days a week for 6 months.

More importantly, this is bad for OP, ultimately. What will she do for leave for the rest of the year? What about holidays and proper downtime?

I would support an employee using leave like this for a short time in a non-critical period of time for the business (the summer in my case). For someone like OP, I'd look to see how else we could support her in this situation.

xogossipgirlxo · 12/04/2023 15:33

My employer wouldn't allow it, so I'm not surprised yours declined. Mine would offer me part time. I'm sorry OP, it sucks.

QforCucumber · 12/04/2023 16:07

@Skybluepinky that's not correct - most private day nurseries charge a flat day rate or half day rate. Eg both the 2 separate nurseries my Ds's attended were open 7-6 and a full day was anytime within those hours.

LakieLady · 12/04/2023 16:34

My employer would probably be ok with this.

They've won awards for their family-friendly policies and are incredibly flexible.

MidnightEagle · 12/04/2023 17:10

I took one day holiday a week when I went back after my first to allow me to do 3 instead of 4. They wouldn't let me do it after my second though and I ended up dropping to 3 as 4 was too unmanageable with extra leave needed for sickness etc.

SalviaDivinorum · 12/04/2023 17:18

I would not have been allowed to do it. It was an actual requirement that at least one complete week ( M-F consecutively) was taken off each year to ensure a complete break from work. The rest of the leave could be ad hoc.

aibuaibuaibu · 12/04/2023 17:30

GreenwichOrTwicks · 12/04/2023 15:18

I was lucky in working for a private company that allowed me one day a week AL in a similar situation but now as a TA in school have had 3 day week refused. Of course they can refuse if not workable for business/operational reasons.

Can't do a job share?

JaceLancs · 12/04/2023 17:33

It would depend on your job role
I have quite a few people who work 2,3 or 4 days
other roles need more consistency so only work as full time or job share
I try hard to be flexible and offer more hours during term time for extended holidays to help those with school age child care issues

Foreversearch · 12/04/2023 17:40

@amazonsl it doesn’t matter what other employers do. It’s what your employer agrees to that matters.

Practical Suggestions:

  • stay full time until you have exhausted your leave. Consider keeping some back for holidays and emergencies. Save the extra ££ for the future.
  • take leave on Mondays. With BH you extend your leave plus you won’t have nursery fees.
  • Go down to 4 days after you have used your leave. Again make Monday your NWD.
  • Ask to WFH 1 or 2 days per week. Keep your DC in nursery, the quickest way to piss of an employer is to try to do childcare on WFH days.
  • Ask if you can work flexi time e.g long and short days so 2 days DC has long days in child care and you max your hours the other 2 days you either work shorter days so less childcare or save for emergency days off.
  • Once back at work look at who you can develop to step up on your NWD.
  • You will need flexibility as your DC grows, work with your employer to slowly show how flexibility can work.
aibuaibuaibu · 12/04/2023 17:41

Foreversearch · 12/04/2023 17:40

@amazonsl it doesn’t matter what other employers do. It’s what your employer agrees to that matters.

Practical Suggestions:

  • stay full time until you have exhausted your leave. Consider keeping some back for holidays and emergencies. Save the extra ££ for the future.
  • take leave on Mondays. With BH you extend your leave plus you won’t have nursery fees.
  • Go down to 4 days after you have used your leave. Again make Monday your NWD.
  • Ask to WFH 1 or 2 days per week. Keep your DC in nursery, the quickest way to piss of an employer is to try to do childcare on WFH days.
  • Ask if you can work flexi time e.g long and short days so 2 days DC has long days in child care and you max your hours the other 2 days you either work shorter days so less childcare or save for emergency days off.
  • Once back at work look at who you can develop to step up on your NWD.
  • You will need flexibility as your DC grows, work with your employer to slowly show how flexibility can work.

She's already on a four day week, permanent.

Foreversearch · 12/04/2023 17:43

@aibuaibuaibu sorry I missed that as it was confusing from the op.

aibuaibuaibu · 12/04/2023 17:45

@Foreversearch she also wants to use all her leave to reduce to work three days a week.... for six months. Not sure what happens about the leave when it runs out.

aibuaibuaibu · 12/04/2023 17:46

@Foreversearch it's against most likely in company policy that you aren't allowed to wfh with caring responsibility.

aibuaibuaibu · 12/04/2023 17:47

JaceLancs · 12/04/2023 17:33

It would depend on your job role
I have quite a few people who work 2,3 or 4 days
other roles need more consistency so only work as full time or job share
I try hard to be flexible and offer more hours during term time for extended holidays to help those with school age child care issues

£60k salary so quite senior. .

Foreversearch · 12/04/2023 18:52

aibuaibuaibu · 12/04/2023 17:46

@Foreversearch it's against most likely in company policy that you aren't allowed to wfh with caring responsibility.

@aibuaibuaibu I am well aware it will be policy but it’s amazing how many times I’ve seen parents caught out. Hence the reason for alerting the op so she can build it into her plans.