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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a grown woman....

405 replies

ToTheMax0 · 11/04/2023 22:28

Should be able to know how to operate a dishwasher?
New colleague didn't know how to do it. She stacked it correctly but was then standing around looking stumped. I had to intervene and help.
She is 41!

OP posts:
Darkernights · 12/04/2023 08:11

I have never used a dishwasher so I guess I wouldn’t know how to. I am 50. I wash dishes manually. I am not sure why you would expect people to know how to use appliances they don’t actually have or need to use.

Personally I would expect a grown woman to understand, and be ok with, other people living slightly different lives from them and knowing slightly different things.

Darkernights · 12/04/2023 08:14

Just realized you were talking about a colleague, not a friend. That’s actually really unpleasant of you OP. As well as narrow minded. It’s quite a bully’s mentality. I expect colleagues to behave better than you have here.

MotherofBingo · 12/04/2023 08:15

YABU I've never owned a dishwasher and the ones at my work places have all been industrial dishwashers which work differently to domestic ones, so faced with a domestic dishwasher I'd be clueless.

AngelDelightUK · 12/04/2023 08:16

I’m 41. Never had a dishwasher. Never used a dishwasher. Never wanted a dishwasher. So I wouldn’t have a clue.

AndyandTeddyarewavinggoodbye · 12/04/2023 08:18

Many years ago we hired a large country hotel for a significant family birthday.

It had a very large catering kitchen which was great as there were 18 of us.

My mum said "I'll do the dishwasher".

Excellent, one less thing to do.

Turned out that before she shut the door and pressed "play", she had liberally sloshed the contents of about half a bottle of Fairy Liquid over the contents.

The kids enjoyed the impromptu foam party that ensued.

WhatTheHeckyPeck · 12/04/2023 08:18

I'm in my late 50's and never used a dishwasher in my life...I wouldn't know how to stack it or where the tablet thingy goes. Why would I? It's not like I came out of the womb knowing such a thing is it?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 12/04/2023 08:19

Can you work a Mackie desk and run the entire stage including troubleshooting a degraded connector somewhere between the pots on a Gibson that's DId and an 8x4 cab/head, make sure they've got enough but not too much through the in ear monitors, at the same time as ensuring the paired 57s over the piano aren't coming through too hot and you've muted radio 8 for 15 seconds so the performer can fart unamplified?

Come on, I've been able to do that since I was 22, surely a fully grown woman automatically knows how to do that?

Do you need cardioid or hypercardioid for the backing artists? It's a C212 if that helps.

There's some clipping on that line but you've only got 4 seconds to sort it. What do you do?

Honestly, how do you function as an adult without knowing that? I'll just do the Internet equivalent of pointing and laughing at you, shall I?

Abraxan · 12/04/2023 08:22

She has possibly never owned one before. Lots of people haven't. So, unless there are some instructions - or it is very clear in the machine - then yes, she may be stumped.

Although dishwashers are now more commonly bought, it's still quite a privileged position to be in to be able to own and use one at home. Plenty of people simply don't have the kitchen space or the finances to allow them to afford one.

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 12/04/2023 08:23

#JerseyRoyals Pump bottles - yes!!! They're obviously designed by someone with a hatred of humanity.

TheKobayashiMaru · 12/04/2023 08:23

I've never owned a dishwasher. I have stacked some in my time but it might take me time to figure out what setting to use.

Maverickess · 12/04/2023 08:24

I know how to strip, clean, reassemble and regenerate a glasswash and industrial dishwasher - I've never actually used a domestic one though so probably would need a look at the instructions before I did. Wouldn't judge anyone who didn't automatically know.
Don't think this thread went the way OP thought it would, expect they were anticipating lots of 'Oh my God, it's a life skill' akin to the battering non drivers get on here and that hasn't happened. Oh dear.

starfishmummy · 12/04/2023 08:24

I'm a lot older than she is. The only time I use a dishwasher is in holiday lets and then I'll be looming for the instructions book

LostAtTheCrossRoad · 12/04/2023 08:28

I mean I wouldn't judge exactly, but it's not rocket science. It's either going to be press the start button then the programme and shut the door, or press the programme then start then shut the door. The tablet/powder box is usually in the door just below the buttons so again I don't think that's exactly complicated.

Flowerblooms · 12/04/2023 08:28

We have a dishwasher in our current home I have never used it! Wouldn’t even know how to.
Washing machines are hard enough for me!
Relative of mine has a super duper microwave with so many buttons and gadgets that when I stay I never use it as I have no idea where to even start.

Ireallycantthinkofagoodone · 12/04/2023 08:34

@Hubblebubble

Actually, it’s just the opposite! Dishwashers use less water and less energy than hand washing, so are much more efficient and hygienic. There is plenty of evidence to support this.

Some brands of washing up liquid are currently advising users that only cold water is necessary for their products to work well. I can’t say I would enjoy washing greasy pans that way though!

butterpuffed · 12/04/2023 08:34

I've always found washing up therapeutic . Never bought a dishwasher but there was one already installed in a flat I moved into . Didn't use it once .

marzipaninyourpieplatebingo · 12/04/2023 08:36

i’ve never had one in my life, no clue how to work one. i’m 42 with a professional job and single mother to 2 kids? never thought i would be judged for this 😀

TroysMammy · 12/04/2023 08:38

How is she at her actual job?

BMW6 · 12/04/2023 08:40

OP how would someone know how to operate one if they've never used one?

It's not something that you just load up and switch on - there are different settings, places to put washing tablets, protocols vary from brand and model.

ShowUs · 12/04/2023 08:41

Wow what a judgement post!

I’m early 30s.
I don’t have one or know anyone else who has one and I’ve never seen one in real life.
So therefore I wouldn’t know how to open it.

I’m pretty sure I have multiple things in my home that you’d have no idea how to use but I wouldn’t judge you for it.

You must have a lot of time on your hands if 1. you judge this sort of thing and 2. that you jump on MN to bitch about it.

Chchchchchangesss · 12/04/2023 08:43

I have a hidden disability and i would struggle with operating an unfamiliar dishwasher.

funinthesun19 · 12/04/2023 08:44

Is she less of an adult now because she didn’t know how to use the dishwasher? Is this one of the ticks you need to get to be seen as a proper adult?

I’ve never had a dishwasher or used one in my life. I never grew up with one so it’s never been a burning priority to have one as I’ve never seen the importance of them. I’ve always just washed up. I would have been stumped like her too.

MrsMurphyIWish · 12/04/2023 08:44

I’m 44 and don’t know how to use a dishwasher. Have never had one. I have these things at the ends of my arms called hands and revivals I use those to turn up taps, fill up a sink and with a circular mention scrub dishes etc …

ShowUs · 12/04/2023 08:45

Ireallycantthinkofagoodone · 12/04/2023 08:34

@Hubblebubble

Actually, it’s just the opposite! Dishwashers use less water and less energy than hand washing, so are much more efficient and hygienic. There is plenty of evidence to support this.

Some brands of washing up liquid are currently advising users that only cold water is necessary for their products to work well. I can’t say I would enjoy washing greasy pans that way though!

I don’t understand how it would use less energy than hand washing?

I get that it might use less water but your electricity bill would still be much higher using it.

It also depends on your family size.
1 person living alone isn’t going to use many dishes and will wash as they go.
A massive family will easily fill a dish washer every day.

BeansOnToast32 · 12/04/2023 08:47

I've never had or used a dishwasher! I've always been put off because when I've been to people houses that own dishwashers they seem to have this weird horrible smell when they open them. 🤢

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