What would a man do?

[StepIntoMyOffice]

I've read so many threads recently where someone has responded with...

'Do you think a man would care in your position?'

'A man wouldn't think twice in this situation so why are you?'

What would your male colleague/DH do?

Why is it even relevant? AIBU to think that women don't need to concern themselves with what a man would do if it were their dilemma? Why the constant need to compare?

Because societal pressure makes work for women.

Baking and sewing and all that nonsense that schools expect. It existed because women were more likely to be at home. But now women are in full-time jobs and still expected to do it all. My DD's primary once had three daytime events in one week and expected a parent at each. DH just said 'no'. It was eye-opening. The teacher guilted me (even though I went to one) but not him (who went to zero).

I think, "would a man do it?" is useful. And men should look at things and think "would a women..." clean that kitchen/look after that child's need/host that event/care for that elderly person and they should do that too.

Because men, who in general act in their own best interests with everyone else secondary, seem to have a better time of it in their 30s and 40s?

I think there are some times when it's very relevant - a prime example is the difference in how men and women apply for jobs or promotions - where women are often doing themselves a disservice but not having the confidence of men (in general, there will always be individuals who buck the trend)

Yes, when "baking" is suggested for school events etc I use the what would a man do rule and simply buy it in or ignore the request. Why feel guilty..he doesn't.

Because we live in a sexist society that allows men to do lots of things that women are judged for.

Always good to remember that

Because they earn more and rule the world?? What's not to aspire to???

I've noticed as well that acceptable parenting for men ends where acceptable parenting for women starts.

Man at the park with a kid, looking at his phone. Awwwww he's so great, babysitting, giving his wife a rest. Woman at the park with a kid, looking at her phone. Lazy, disinterested cow, what a shit parent.

Men should think about what women do more.

Because men think they’re going above and beyond when they do the absolute bare minimum that would be expected of a woman. How often do you hear men struggling with feelings of parental guilt?

I’ve noticed men seem to think they do way more than they actually do. They give themselves a big pat on the back for washing up or cooking dinner once a week or going to sports day once a year. Most have absolutely no idea how much they are leaning on the women in their life. They are completely dependent on women (just look at most men who live alone compared to most women) yet have convinced themselves it’s us who need them.

I find this useful in work situations. I often write emails and then re-write them with a 'what would a man do' perspective and it makes me sound a lot more assertive.

The only thing that holds anyone back is “themselves”.

I’m super proud of my wife, she doesn’t think “like a man”, she is herself 100% and is high in a corporate role. I would say she is more “successful” than me.

Don’t ever think “what would a man do”, think “what is the right thing to do”, “what is the ethical thing to do”, “what benefit will this add” etc.

That’s my view.

I'm so glad a man has joined this thread to tell us how to think.

I agree OP. I really dislike the implication that male behaviour is something we should aspire to and emulate. If it's necessary to seek inspiration to be more assertive or whatever, surely we can think of a strong woman role model. Or simply change our behaviour to something we're happier with for our own sake, rather than centre men in our thinking all the time.

@RH1234

What sexism and discrimination have you faced based on your sex?

Me too.

And the "liberal" "use" of "many" quotation marks makes me "like" it more.

I know I used some but his is positively brimming with them.

Top tip male poster; we can think for ourselves and also understand that thinking about what a man would do is useful. At the same time.

Lol. The only thing? Really?

Do me a favour and Google patriarchy.

OP, I sometimes think like this when I'm having moments of imposter syndrome. I am qualified and experienced in my field, but I find myself wondering whether I can handle X, whether I should put myself forward for Y. I know that a lot of the men I work with would never have these thoughts; they would just go for opportunities anyway. The world is geared towards promoting confidence in men and self doubt in women.

I’m guessing you’re referring to me…

I would copy me, I was saying what my wife does… she’s not a man…

I do exactly the same and as a result remove a word here or there. I did it today 'what would my C level male boss write?' and I went with that version.

Why? Because I inadvertently add apologies or 'buts' or 'it's possible that' or 'please could you'. They aren't needed and don't enhance my content.

I was saying what my wife does… she’s not a man…

Fuck knows what DH would write on here about me. But it wouldn't be my subjective truth.

@RH1234 You literally said to in your post 'Don't ever think...(whatever it was you said)'. You were telling us what to think.

You lot that replied to me have some chips on your shoulders. Sad really. Night all

This.

And if I had a pound for every post I have read on here from a woman whose husband is an abusive, lazy cocklodger but who manages also to be a “wonderful husband and father” because he takes the kids to the park for an hour each Sunday before getting stuck into the beers I would be a very wealthy woman indeed.

The day men post on Reddit that their wives are “wonderful mothers” because they have done an hour’s unsupervised parenting I will know we have finally achieved true equality.

Like continue working part time for the rest of their lives long after the kids have gone to school, while their partner works full time until their late sixties?

Or is it mainly women that do that? 🤔

People are so selective on here sometimes....

@StepAwayFromTheBiscuitJar

Huh?

I think both men and women should work and share childcare equally

Part time work shouldn't be reserved for women

@StepAwayFromTheBiscuitJar I work full time.

@StepAwayFromTheBiscuitJar

Is working part time a marker of equality in a relationship? That one passed me by…