what happens if I die or have a serious accident

[Boogismyname]

Posted here for traffic:
I can't go into detail because what I would disclose would be incredibly outing, it is not a drip feed.
I am deliberately estranged from my family as an adult because of child sex abuse committed by them as well as other types of abuse (emotional abuse, gas lighting) and I have recently made a disclosure to the police about them due to a minor being in contact with them.
I am in my thirties and now live in a safe place, but something that is on my mind is that if I had a serious accident that a decision to withdraw care etc. or if I died, whether it be due to suicide or to something else, how would my family find out... or would they at all? (I've asked for my hospital / GP records to not link me to them.
Registration at my GP has asked for a next of kin but I have put 'N/A' because although I have an abundance of supportive friends that know my background, I wouldn't want to put that pressure upon them. (This attitude is most probably a projection of past pains from my childhood).
My GP/medical records/mental health team are aware of everything in my past because I like to be very open so they can help me as much as possible and they do.
Not a nice topic, but if anyone has any genuine information about such things, can you please reply? Thank you very much.

So who would you want to be contacted if you collapsed and became unconscious in hospital?

put in your will what you want to happen, would you want them contacted?

If you sort out, book and prepay your funeral, with a couple of friends named as the people to enact/notify the Funeral Director, your plan could include no public notices by the FD. Same in your will. No publicising.

What do others think?

You would need an advocate I suppose or at least a living will stating your wishes.
As you have put n/a hospital/police would be forced to actively look for a nok. You need to be specific and state that family are not to be contacted.
What about things like your finances, bills, funeral, your property, kids, someone will need to deal with these things on your behalf.

You might also want to consider an Advance Decision - I’ve been looking into this for myself (for different reasons to you) and it looks like it’s legally binding so no issues with NOK.

Death certificates are public record and can be purchased for a nominal fee, so in theory they could access that. But unless someone told them you had died, I can't see how they would know. Most other things such as bank accounts etc are heavily protected by privacy law.

I assume you have a will, otherwise they might need to be contacted re intestacy.

If you have a living will you need to have it in a prominent place, at a solicitors office is no good, can’t be found. You need to tell someone or let them have a copy.

Probably my best friends.
@Nimbostratus100 I would absolutely not want my family notified.
Thanks for the info, everyone.
Do people make a will at my age? My problems are almost all psychological and it would be unlikely that I would die because I am healthy otherwise.

I do not know the legalities of it all, but the uncle of a friend was estranged from his family and they found out about his death about two years after it occurred (they had no contact for over a decade before that). I can't remember the exact circumstances of his death or estrangement, but they learned about it when someone did a search online and found an obituary. I think he may have stipulated in his will that his family were not to be informed.

You said you wouldn't want to put pressure on a friend, but is there anyone who would be willing to act as an attorney? I hold power of attorney for both my parents, but you don't have to be a relative to do so. It means that they can make decisions about your care/finances if you are unable, and be an advocate for you if you can't act yourself.

What is a 'NOK'? thanks

You can list a close friend as next of kin, and sign authorisation at the GP Surgery for them to make decisions in the event of a catastrophic accident. This isn’t that uncommon these days. I was next of kin for a much older friend- she was a widow who was childless and I was executor of her will. She became very poorly and gave me power of attorney towards the end. I took care of her going into hospice. I sorted her accounts. I sat with her and kept her company. I told her goodbye in her final hours and held her hand. I arranged her funeral the way she wanted- wicker coffin and all. I paid her debts. I cleaned and sold her flat. I distributed the personal items she’d bequeathed to other friends and myself. Then I gave all her money to her named charity per her will. It was my honour to do that for her.

You should write a will too, because as it stands, if you die, your parents will inherit everything you leave behind. That doesn’t sound like something you’d want. So get a will written and leave it on file with a solicitor, and give your next of kin friend (who can also be executor) a copy of it or a letter saying you have a will with so and so the contact details for the solicitor if you want the solicitor to be the executor.

Next of kin

oh, NOK means next of kin, doesn't it? sorry brain fart

People die at any age. If you have any property at all (Bank account, car, house) it has to go somewhere. If you don't leave a will then the money goes to your spouse, children, parents, siblings, then nephews and nieces in that order (UK law, both Scotland and rUK).

Even if all you have is a couple of guitars and some jewellery and clothing, there's a chance that at some point your family would be contacted and theoretically given your stuff. I work in this area and see it happen all the time. A lovely lady died and her abusive family got all her money because she hadn't married her (same sex) partner or made a will. The law doesn't need to be kind or fair, it's just the law.

Yes because anybody can die at anytime so it makes sense to make a will as soon as you can. I made a will as soon as I bought my first house at 31, I've amended it as soon as I had children.

With your history, I would make a will and make it known who who want to inherit from you and who you don't want to inherit your estate. Otherwise, blood relations will be notified if they have a claim 9n your estate.

Do people make a will at my age? My problems are almost all psychological and it would be unlikely that I would die because I am healthy otherwise.

I mean, not to be morbid but any of us could die in an accident at any point. So yes, people who are motivated enough to organise this kind of thing can and do make wills even while they’re still relatively young and in good health.

https://www.gov.uk/make-will

I don’t think it is an age thing at all when it comes to wills. It’s more if you’re ok with how the inheritance laws work, as in who you’d want to inherit would inherit even without a will, then no real need to have one. But if the inheritance laws say that relatives you don’t want to inherit would inherit everything you have, that’s when you definitely need a will.

Leave a stamped addressed letter with a trusted friend, to be posted if you die.

In the UK nobody can make medical decisions for you without a health and welfare power of attorney. Your 'next of kin' regardless of whether it's someone you nominated or your closest living relative just does not have that power.

If you were in a serious accident and couldn't make your own decisions then the medical team treating you would make decisions in your best interests. You could nominate a friend as a 'next of kin' to give the medical team ideas about what you would want, but nobody, including them, would get to decide whether to withdraw care, consent to lifesaving surgery etc. It's just not how it works.

Excellent information, thank you xxxxx
not the point, but I don't intend to have any children because although I love them, I wouldn't be emotionally available amongst other things for them.
This is another thing that has been robbed from me by those bastards.

Everyone should have a will as no-one knows when they are going to die.
You can put your wishes in there, it's not just about who gets what.

Do people make a will at my age?

They'd be fools not to; especially in your case. If you don't make one, then if you dies the state will distribute your assets among your blood relatives according to the laws in intestacy.

If you'd rather leave your assets to the cat home, make a will.

I'd probably leave all my money to a mental health charity that is doing their best to fund therapy for people and end the stigma of mental illness.

You are perfectly within your right to ask that they are not informed.

That is not the same as being able to keep a death secret. Births, deaths and marriages are public information in the UK and anyone can search the indexes and order certificates for any reason. Although I would imagine that would worry you less - as you'd be dead. You would be wise to make a will, as anything you have would go to parents if you die unmarried and without children. Ask the lawyer about the issues surrounding next of kin and who would make medical decisions for you if you were unable to do so.