To ask for your help in getting out of this at work today?

[Itagain]

I think I'm autistic but not diagnosed, so work doesn't know. They want me to present a short 'show and tell' this morning at work about something interesting I've read/seen/done. We do this weekly and a different person gets picked each week. I really struggle with this kind of thing, I'm ok if it's work-related but not when it's personal. I feel really panicky and I can't explain it but I just can't do it.

My manager has emailed me asking me to do it in this morning's meeting. I haven't responded yet. Please does anyone have any suggestions for how to get out of it?

I'm in my notice period as I'm leaving because I realise that this is not the job for me

I also can't believe how many of you think this is actually important. If it was a presentation FOR ACTUAL WORK I would get it but forcing people to do things like this is just demonic and unneccessary.

At least it's not as bad as that poor woman who was made to cit in a circle with her colleagues and talk about traumatic life events, but still! This kind of shit office culture needs to die. No one is working for the love of getting to know colleagues deeply.

I would like to know how this kind of time wasting helps with your work or increases productivity. What a waste of everyone's time.

I was thinking I'd read the same thing recently too!

Just say you aren't comfortable doing it and as you don't need to meet any job standards because you're leaving you aren't going to either!

What is the problem with posting issues relating to the same matter? If you don’t like it scroll past it! The op is allowed to post this on multiple occasions if she needs to.
to those saying just do it and she has had time to prepare sorry but why feel the need to shame her? Anxiety can be crippling and overwhelming!

What is the actual point of these things? My immediate colleagues know about what I am into, my likes, dislikes and what I've done or not done at the weekend. I don't feel the need to tell strangers anything other than my name and role and really does anyone enjoy these little 'ice breakers' and does it really make anyone better at their job? IME it just annoys and worries people.

I said "work related stuff at least".

Doing a show and tell about about personal stuff is not 'training' someone in order for them to be able to present work stuff. Training should be done on a one to one basis, not chucking them in front of their colleagues to talk about their cat or whatever. For some people it's excruciating to talk about anything in front of others .

On paper, I hate these things as much as any sensible person. But I think it depends on the team, and execution.

For us with a lot more remote hires you don’t naturally get into conversation and feel the team bond with people during office downtime. There’s a middle ground between needing to agree your entire life story and weekend activities all the time. And you know snippets to connect to your colleagues as humans. Especially as people don’t even want to have their cameras on!

We don’t do a formal icebreaker presentation on this though. We have a page where people just put a little line about their interests. And we make sure to read that to know a bit about our colleagues.

OP, can you say something like, "I don't want to do it, just the thought of speaking in front of everyone like this gives me huge anxiety, and having to do things like this is part of the reason I quit my job."

Why do you need little snippets about your colleagues lives?
Genuinely, what difference does knowing Gordon in accounts has an allotment and he's having a bumper drop of carrots this year, or Doris in HR is busily knitting matinee jackets for her fifth grandchild actually make to any of you?
It's intrusive nonsense. People can chat about whatever they please, but enforced sharing is ridiculous.

@Gogogo1

It was not my intention to shame anyone.

I simply pointed out that the post is written as if this "show and tell" malarkey has been sprung on OP out of the blue this morning.

It absolutely hasn't because OP was asked to do the same thing a week ago.

She got lots of helpful and supportive replies but clearly hasn't done any of the things suggested.

All the neurotypical people saying just do it really don't understand how it can feel to just not feel to honestly not feel able to feel able to do something that you know should be simple and easy. People telling you to just do it just makes you feel like more of a failure.

Being neurodiverse doesn’t mean you’re bad at presentations. Some are very good at it especially when they have something prepared.

Equally neurotypical people can have an intense fear of public speaking, anxiety/ social anxiety or just be bad at it through lack of experience, training/ feedback, or being extremely introverted.

I know sometimes they co-occur but neurodiverse people have to take steps to improve presenting skills just like a lot of neurotypical people do. Being neurodiverse does not mean you can’t present!

It just seems everything is blamed on neurodiversity now. I say that as a clinically/ nhs diagnosed person with a neurodiverse condition who has had to learn to do presenting.

I didn't intend on being dishonest or throwing away all of the advice offered to me on my other thread. I didn't realise I had had a name change fail or I would have used the same username. I posted on that thread again this morning asking for help but it didn't get many responses so I made a new thread here instead. Sorry

My manager does know I have anxiety, and have dealt with occupational health in the past to have reasonable adjustments put in place including limiting any unnecessary presentations. However, they were only temporary adjustments and have now been removed

This 'show and tell' thing was originally on a voluntary basis, but they recently changed it so everyone has to do it. I spoke to my manager this morning and said how I was finding it stressful and would I be able to be excused from it, but they told me I need to do it next week

I think your manager is being an arse , you're leaving so what on earth is the benefit of doing it?

I think that at this point, having said how stressful I find it and having asked for help, my stubborn streak may well kick in and I'd politely tell them that no, I won't be doing it.

What's the worst that could happen?

Your manager is being ridiculous considering you are leaving anyway! Phone in sick that day, what are they going to do when you're leaving anyway? Either that, or come up with something short and sweet and make it about work as you are ok talking about work.

This just sounds vindictive now. You're leaving, don't do it.

When are you leaving?

That sounds crap of your manager, OP. Now you have a weeks notice, you have lots more options. E.g.:

Rent a movie and talk about that

Memorise a story you've read on MN and pretend it happened to you

Conjure up a GP/dentist appt or pull a sickie

"I haven't got anything to report. So how about we just go and crack on with our jobs?!

You'd get a round of applause and the offer of a pint after work from the other poor fuckers coerced into this, I'll bet 😂

Hope you’re okay OP, I completely understand how you feel and it’s so upsetting. I know it feels impossible but the best thing you can do is advocate for yourself. Even without a diagnosis you are absolutely allowed to say:

”So sorry but I won’t be able to do this for mental health reasons. If the subject was work related the situation would be different, hope you understand, thank you.”

It’s a tough world for autistic women and I think men would find it a lot easier to stand up for themselves in a work environment.

Be kind to yourself and say no ❤️

It's not necessarily a waste of time if you are trying to give someone some experience in presenting. Suggesting it's about something non-work related means the person can pick a topic which they are knowledgeable about without the stress of it being work related.

Regardless, if the OP is so unable to literally prep a minutes long presentation about something they watched on TV or something and they are leaving anyway, they can just continue to refuse to do it until their notice period runs out.

Did you even read what I wrote? How did a ‘line about their interests’ suddenly morph into very detailed life updates… especially across such different departments such as HR and Accounting? Unless you work in teeny tiny companies where those are both single digit staffed departments.

You don’t have to get on like a house on fire with colleagues - but you do want to build some human connections. And it’s actually the people who have difficulty starting conversations who appreciate the information already being shared as they have something to start with. Or someone else asks them about something they like. Of course if the team has managed to build a good camaraderie by themselves I don’t need to interfere at all.

We don’t need to ‘bring our whole selves’ or whatever to work. But we’re also not robots. And anybody whose job can be done extremely robotically will probably find themselves replaced by ChatGPT soon anyway…

So give me a real lif example of "a line about their interests" or would it be too outing? 😂 and explain it's relevance to anyone else, maybe?