MIL keeps announcing when she's off to the toilet - AIBU to find this disgusting or am I being precious?

[Ishacoco]

PIL are staying for the week and something is up with MIL stomach because of the medication she takes. And we are not being spared the details. She's off to the toilet every five minutes and we're being given a running commentary -

"Oooh, I'll have to go up to the toilet again, things are happening."

"I must say, my bowels are rather loose."

At the dinner table -

"I'll have to leave this meal, I need another trip to the bathroom. My stomach isn't behaving. I'll get there, won't be forever, not much left in me now."

As we're trying to eat FGS!

DP is ignoring it but I genuinely feel like I need to be in another room from her all the time. AIBU??

Sorry but after the dinner table comment I'd have to say something. That truly is gross when she's aware people are eating.

Has she other illnesses because I've no idea why someone would want to discuss having the shits with others like some sort of spectator sport?

I would have to say something. That’s vile.

I don’t think it’s weird to say ‘I’m just going to use the loo’

I do find it weird when people leave the door open - like mil used to until I asked her to close it. 😳

Sharing is caring.

I think DH should deal with it with an exasperated 'Mu-um! We're eating here!'
V hard for you to do without upset

😆😆😆, the tone of the thread is hilarious. Yes we do all know what a toilet is for, maybe MIL and FIL laugh at these ailments, which are maybe more common as you age, and you are better off laughing than crying or cringing.

I think the problem is the week long stay, I couldn't hack that length of time with any guests or indeed being a guest. We all need our space.

OP,
Many 'older' people have an obsession with their bowels, don't ask me why. If you don't like what she says just tell her.

Some new mums are the same. They have to keep telling you what baby did in their nappy, how big it was, what colour it was and how firm it was.🙄

I don't think it's particularly bad - she's not discussing colour, texture, smell. She's not shitting at the table. In any case, I'm not squeamish and find this sort of squeamishness a little bit odd. But then I would happily talk about vomit or operations etc at the table; I mean, I wouldn't rush to choose those subjects, but if they came up, I wouldn't find it offputting.

I know this is missing the point, but poor MIL. It can't be very pleasant for her. Some mint tea might help settle her tummy

my mother does this too. I absolutely hate it. I think it may be to cover her embarrassment, but I'm not sure. I often say things like "too much information", or "thanks for letting us know", but it doesn't make any difference. You have my sympathy

That is completely gross.

I had a similar experience years ago when my PIL took us on holiday to the south of France.

It was a really lovely holiday, but my FIL kept farting loudly then laughing, about three times a day. I was absolutely gobsmacked - he's a sweet guy but I could never truly warm to him after that.

I'll never forget the look on my own parents' faces when I told them!

I don't think it's particularly bad - she's not discussing colour, texture, smell. She's not shitting at the table.

Excuse me...?

So the worst she's said beyond that she's going to the loo are that her stomach isn't behaving and things are happening. It's not exactly disgusting detail.

She's telling you she's ill and it's urgent. She wants a bit of compassion that she's not at home and having to deal with this in front of others.tL it doesn't sound at all like toilet humour or childish, but that this is interfering with her daily life.

Would it be different if she were immediate family? If I have a migraine and keep vomiting, I keep DH up to date on where I'm going and how bad it's been/getting. It has been known to interrupt meals. He did the same during a bad bout of food poisoning when he really needed looking after. It's technically gross, but not rude.

Just as an aside - my mum started to be obsessed with her bowel movements and sharing (it became a joke with DS and I that every car journey would have a comment of 'I need a poo but I couldn't go')

It was the start of her vascular dementia.

Not the biggest deal for me

It's one of those things, if I liked her I would laugh and sympathise, but if I disliked her I would find it genuinely repellent.

I hope your bathroom has a good window and is set at a discreet distance from the dining room.

Many 'older' people have an obsession with their bowels, don't ask me why.

It is because healthy bowel function is one of the many physical gifts you don't appreciate when you are young, but which you may lose later. And a strong digestive system is very key to feeling well and maintaining general health.

She's using humour to cover her embarrassment. I couldn't get worked up about it

this

She’s probably worried someone may disturb her crap. Or simply just going out of her way to irritate her DIL.

I’d forgotten hardly anyone on MN farts or craps, & it’s not funny 🤭either!

Is farting and crapping funny to you, then? Are you under 10, or just a victim of arrested development?

They're funny to me

Make of that what you will. Lots of families have various gross in-jokes that aren't shared outside of the four walls of home and extended family.

This isn't a hilarious in joke, op hates it.

Sounds like the early stages of dementia has she been assessed?

My DP used to tell me quite gleefully about his bowel habits and what the outcome was until one day I took a photo of the toilet after I'd been and showed him. He doesn't do it now.