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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL keeps announcing when she's off to the toilet - AIBU to find this disgusting or am I being precious?

129 replies

Ishacoco · 10/04/2023 20:55

PIL are staying for the week and something is up with MIL stomach because of the medication she takes. And we are not being spared the details. She's off to the toilet every five minutes and we're being given a running commentary -

"Oooh, I'll have to go up to the toilet again, things are happening."

"I must say, my bowels are rather loose."

At the dinner table -

"I'll have to leave this meal, I need another trip to the bathroom. My stomach isn't behaving. I'll get there, won't be forever, not much left in me now."

As we're trying to eat FGS!

DP is ignoring it but I genuinely feel like I need to be in another room from her all the time. AIBU??

OP posts:
DontMakeMeShushYou · 10/04/2023 21:10

Whatever! I couldn't get worked up about this.

Passmethecrisps · 10/04/2023 21:10

It’s sounds awful for everyone. If she doesn’t usually do this I would
imagine she is trying to manage an awkward situation by using humour or simply being honest about her regular trips.

I am very strong stomached so wouldn’t really be bothered other than sympathetic but I do understand the issue. How would she take a suggestion that maybe she heads home and rearranges the visit when she is feeling better?

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 21:10

MathsNervous · 10/04/2023 21:09

No difference to saying you are off for a coffee is it?🤷

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Yes 😵‍💫. Yes, it really is.

MathsNervous · 10/04/2023 21:11

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 10/04/2023 21:07

You’d hate my MIL, she often says before dinner “Off to the loo, got to make room for dinner” 🤮

I usually trot this one out from time to time to the DC 🤣

Americano75 · 10/04/2023 21:11

That's fucking rank, what is she? 8?

MavisMcMinty · 10/04/2023 21:12

Just say “I hope you’ve washed your hands” every time she mentions it.

SparkyBlue · 10/04/2023 21:12

Wouldn't bother me at all.

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 21:12

MathsNervous · 10/04/2023 21:08

But you see this is why we have a stigma about bowel habits because of this type of repulsive attitude.

It's a natural bodily function 🤷 it's the same if someone trumps at the table. Not a big deal. Better out than in.

Show quote history

There is no stigma about bowel habits, other than against discussing said habits when people are eating / with people who couldn't give a shite (pun intended).
Behave yourself 🤣

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 10/04/2023 21:13

I think it’s basic manners to not talk about bodily functions at the dinner table

MathsNervous · 10/04/2023 21:14

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 21:10

Yes 😵‍💫. Yes, it really is.

Show quote history

Not really for some of us who come from certain occupations where this is a non issue. Horses for courses. DH used to the humour, see each other at the toilet etc. Not a biggie.

DontMakeMeShushYou · 10/04/2023 21:15

MathsNervous · 10/04/2023 21:11

I usually trot this one out from time to time to the DC 🤣

Show quote history

😄We say it in reference to the dog!

toastofthetown · 10/04/2023 21:16

MathsNervous · 10/04/2023 21:08

But you see this is why we have a stigma about bowel habits because of this type of repulsive attitude.

It's a natural bodily function 🤷 it's the same if someone trumps at the table. Not a big deal. Better out than in.

Show quote history

Personally I'm happy for a stigma about discussing what comes out of our various orifices and especially when I'm trying to eat. There's a difference between discussing health concerns with family and oversharing. Natural doesn't mean I should want to hear about it, bowels aside. Sex is a natural function, but I don't want to see that at the dinner table either. I also wouldn't want to see someone's gangrenous wound.

Original poster
Ishacoco · 10/04/2023 21:16

Eggseggseverywhere · 10/04/2023 21:06

The entirety of my mil's conversation topic was her toilet habits.. We had to be told if she had /hadn't been. Who the fuck cares?

Could be worse then!

OP posts:
StaceySolomonSwash · 10/04/2023 21:17

My DH announced he's off for a poo. I replied that I'd go up too to change my tampon (we have more than one bathroom) and he thought that gross. No more than telling me you're going to poo, is it!

He now just says "excuse me" and leaves the room.

Champsandbubbles · 10/04/2023 21:19

If she hadn't declared it you'd be here complaining she's rude . She's trying to add humour to what I consider an embarrassing situation, one I think she'd rather keep private but given she's at your home not hers she can't.
Let's hope this doesn't happen to you some day and someone calls you gross for bodily functions you can't control

Original poster
Ishacoco · 10/04/2023 21:20

She's a lovely lady and I really don't want to upset/embarrass her by letting on that I think it's vile and inappropriate. But I'm starting to feel sick myself! Luckily they have their own en-suite so no sharing issues.

OP posts:
Slimjimtobe · 10/04/2023 21:21

My mil does this but it’s the early stages of dementia and she’s obsessive about it but cannot help it due to very little going on in her life - she tends to blurt things out. She was very lady like when I first met her.

Original poster
Ishacoco · 10/04/2023 21:21

Champsandbubbles · 10/04/2023 21:19

If she hadn't declared it you'd be here complaining she's rude . She's trying to add humour to what I consider an embarrassing situation, one I think she'd rather keep private but given she's at your home not hers she can't.
Let's hope this doesn't happen to you some day and someone calls you gross for bodily functions you can't control

Oh no, there's no embarrassment. She's completely comfortable to share everything.

If I was unintentionally grossing people out then I would definitely want to know!!

OP posts:
potatowhale · 10/04/2023 21:22

Slimjimtobe · 10/04/2023 21:21

My mil does this but it’s the early stages of dementia and she’s obsessive about it but cannot help it due to very little going on in her life - she tends to blurt things out. She was very lady like when I first met her.

Oh bless! I didn't know that was a thing. I shall be more tolerant now.

Slimjimtobe · 10/04/2023 21:22

yes mine is a nice lady too (they just have got used to you and feel comfortable but don’t realise how yucky it is) words like back passage before dinner 🤢

Slimjimtobe · 10/04/2023 21:23

Yes it is very much linked to dementia (I know this as SIL is a nurse so has knowledge about this)

potatowhale · 10/04/2023 21:25

Slimjimtobe · 10/04/2023 21:23

Yes it is very much linked to dementia (I know this as SIL is a nurse so has knowledge about this)

I have learnt today and will be more tolerant

Original poster
Ishacoco · 10/04/2023 21:27

No dementia here. The stomach issues are directly linked to her medication.

OP posts:
Rosula · 10/04/2023 21:41

Can you get your husband to keep saying something like "Too much information, Mum". It'll sink in more if it comes from him.

CheeseMcKnees · 10/04/2023 21:42

Eugh, it’s LOO ffs.
LTB