Page 5 | To wear a black dress as a wedding guest?

ChristinaDior · 2023-04-10T19:31:08+00:00

Just the title really. I have a lovely black satin midi dress with a cowl neck that I haven’t worn. It’s been sitting in my wardrobe for 3 years untouched. A friend is getting married this October, perfect opportunity to wear it right? Or is black a no no?

ThatFraggle · 11/04/2023 07:58

Alcyone · 11/04/2023 01:43

Women make these stupid rules up for other women to follow, who then pass them down to the next generation. It's time we stopped this nonsense. Never would you hear anyone mention that a man wore a black suit to a wedding.......or even the same black suit to the last five weddings.

Your dress sounds beautiful, please wear it!

It's called culture. Every human group in history has it.

Different clothes are appropriate for different times.

Why don't you wear a dressing gown to a job interview? It's comfy and warm, isn't it?

Why don't you wear a swimming costume to go to the shops in summer? It's nice and cool, isn't it?

Why don't you wear pyjamas out for a nice dinner? You'll be going to bed right afterwards, so why not?

Maybe in 50 years people WILL do that. But in the society you live in NOW those things are not considered appropriate by the majority of people.

Neither is wearing the one colour associated with death and mourning to a marriage.

Beautifulstrange1 · 11/04/2023 08:06

Worldgonecrazy · 10/04/2023 22:08

My stepdaughters both wore black when I married their dad! I think you are right!

Show quote history

I wore black to my Dad and Stepmum’s
wedding. It was a mourning and a rebellion to me but that was many years ago. It wasn’t really planned or intentional but looking back,
that’s how I felt.
I would have no problems with people wearing black to my wedding and wouldn’t judge. I guess you just need to be able to ignore anyone who may judge you, if there are traditional people there.

PinkTonic · 11/04/2023 08:19

I think a black dress as part of a monochrome outfit is fine. Bright accessories with black would be a no from me, but people do it. It’s the fact that it’s a satin slip dress that would make it unsuitable for a daytime wedding in my eyes, as glammed up for a wedding a dress like that would look like evening wear.

BungleandGeorge · 11/04/2023 09:32

Men don’t really wear black suits to daytime weddings either- they’re worn at funerals and evening wear. I think both of you in black will definitely stand out, unless evening wear is requested

CurlewKate · 11/04/2023 09:34

Could you wear it for the evening do? Black satin doesn't sound wedding-y to me.

During the "wedding years" (you know, the years in your life before the christening years and longer before the divorce years) my incredibly stylish sil had a beautiful, very understated black dress she always wore but she'd hire a different spectacular hat every time. Such a good idea!

Daniki · 11/04/2023 12:50

Absolutely go for it especially at a wedding in October. I wouldn't of gave a shite what colour anyone worse to my wedding. I had a fab black cape dress I wore to a wedding in November and got heaps of compliments. Also was a bridesmaid where we all work black dresses and they stunning!

Original poster

ChristinaDior · 11/04/2023 13:30

BungleandGeorge · 11/04/2023 09:32

Men don’t really wear black suits to daytime weddings either- they’re worn at funerals and evening wear. I think both of you in black will definitely stand out, unless evening wear is requested

I went to a summer wedding last year and most of the male guests were in black. Only the groom and groomsmen were in grey.

My friendship group and partners OH’s etc are all mid-late 20’s. We’ve never attended ‘traditional’ weddings or church weddings. Mostly in marquees, converted barns and large modern wedding venues.

OP posts:

Wishawisha · 11/04/2023 18:20

Alcyone · 11/04/2023 01:43

Women make these stupid rules up for other women to follow, who then pass them down to the next generation. It's time we stopped this nonsense. Never would you hear anyone mention that a man wore a black suit to a wedding.......or even the same black suit to the last five weddings.

Your dress sounds beautiful, please wear it!

Oh I agree with this. It’s nothing about tradition or culture. In fact, I am surprised so many people are saying that it’s the older generation that would frown upon this. The older generation generally had much smaller weddings - unless your parents were exceptionally rich it was a simple church do and then a reception in a pub or village hall. I’ve seen pictures from family weddings in the 50s and 60s and the children attending generally wore school uniform to then. Adults just wore the nicest clothes they owned.

It’s people now who are spending a whole year salary on a wedding … expecting whole weekend hen parties abroad with ridiculous expectations on their guests .. getting offended because someone had the audacity to wear cream or black and starting a MN post about it (not you OP). Just look at some of the many discussions on MN.

MimiSunshine · 11/04/2023 18:25

Purplebiscuitwithsprinkles · 11/04/2023 07:55

We are going to a wedding in July and they have put on the invitation please do not wear black. We weren't going to anyway but was good to know.

My other friend is getting married in August and at the weekend the bridal party met up for Easter lunch. She was asked would she be bothered if someone wore all white/black...I didn't think she would be bothered but she replied yes, she'd be more annoyed at the all white but at the same time black all black would annoy her as she doesn't want it to look like they had been at a funeral. I've known her years and she's always been so laid back. So was very surprised by this.

I personally wouldn't have liked all black/white too mainly to do with tradition being drummed into me when I was younger. Nephew's girlfriend turned up in all white short lacey thing at my wedding and for some reason for about 30 seconds when I saw her I thought who does that but then let it go still irks me a tiny bit when I think about it now lol.

The very specific request not to wear black m would make me think either the bride or bridesmaids will be in black so they want to avoid matching with guests.

Thehonestybox · 11/04/2023 18:52

Yeah definitely wear it! In Italy everyone wears black to weddings. And I'm pretty sure everyone's wearing black in Four Weddings and a Funeral weddings 😁

Purplebiscuitwithsprinkles · 11/04/2023 18:59

@MimiSunshine I suspect this too although her Mum is quite superstitious too.

TunnocksOrDeath · 11/04/2023 19:07

You don't say if it's a wedding in a church, but generally black is a mourning colour, so the symbolism of that could raise some eyebrows. I'd save this lovely dress for another occasion, and just wear something else you already have in the wardrobe to the wedding... OR if you can dress it up with colour without spoiling the look you could try that.

Original poster

ChristinaDior · 12/04/2023 15:24

TunnocksOrDeath · 11/04/2023 19:07

You don't say if it's a wedding in a church, but generally black is a mourning colour, so the symbolism of that could raise some eyebrows. I'd save this lovely dress for another occasion, and just wear something else you already have in the wardrobe to the wedding... OR if you can dress it up with colour without spoiling the look you could try that.

Not a church wedding. The bride & groom are not religious. Neither are my partner and I.

OP posts:

cheshiredog · 12/04/2023 15:43

My mum wore black to my wedding, as she felt comfortable in it. Wear what you want- eyes will be on the bride, anyway- not on the guests!

LlynTegid · 12/04/2023 15:44

Seems fine to me. Also incidentally supportive of a non-church venue if bride and groom are not religious.

JoelyJoe · 12/04/2023 15:49

I wouldn't have given two hoots if someone wore black to my wedding, in fact maybe someone did!! I wouldn't have noticed... I just remember thinking people looked lovely. Having said that, you read some Mumsnet posts, and wearing black to a wedding is a mortal sin. So I don't know. I guess it depends on whether there are any "undercurrents" in the relationships.
Anyway, the easy answer is - ask your friend if it would be an issue for her. Simples.

Chickychoccyegg · 12/04/2023 15:57

Over the last several years I've seen loads of people wear black to a wedding and no one batted an eye lid.
I wore a black dress to my sisters wedding, with nude shoes and bag, gold accessories, no one cared and I didn't look like I was going to a funeral, at that wedding, the bridesmaids were also in black, but my dress was absolutely nothing like theirs, bride and groom didn't care a single bit.

Gooseysgirl · 12/04/2023 15:57

Wear it if you love it and it feels good! My lovely SIL wore black to our wedding and looked gorgeous. I've worn black to a wedding at 8 months pregnant and blinged it up with sparkly shoes, sparky handbag etc.

Shallana · 12/04/2023 16:02

I had two friends wearing black at my wedding. One of them checked with me first, I didn't mind at all. They both looked lovely. If you're not sure, check with the bride.