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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wear a black dress as a wedding guest?

119 replies

ChristinaDior · 10/04/2023 20:31

Just the title really.

I have a lovely black satin midi dress with a cowl neck that I haven’t worn. It’s been sitting in my wardrobe for 3 years untouched.

A friend is getting married this October, perfect opportunity to wear it right? Or is black a no no?

OP posts:
Bagsundermyeyestoday · 11/04/2023 03:01

Depends on the culture, in some black is a no-no, as it means bad luck/mourning etc so not a prosperous colour for a celebration

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 11/04/2023 03:17

I wore a black dress to a wedding last year, had no idea it was apparently a faux pas.

Forgooodnesssakenow · 11/04/2023 03:18

I didn't think black was an issue? Is it only fully black? I wore a black dress to a friend's wedding, it had a gold overlay on the skirt but mainly black, is that seen as ok?

ShippingNews · 11/04/2023 03:19

Several guests wore black at my DD's wedding, they looked great. Rules about colours at weddings are so old fashioned !

aNewYorkerInLondon · 11/04/2023 04:36

I worked in the wedding business for seven years. In my opinion, it entirely depends on the wedding: the couple, the venue, the location, the formality, the time of day

Urban, cosmopolitan couple having a formal evening wedding with the reception at a glamorous London hotel? Black is likely entirely fine.

Traditional countryside wedding with an autumnal outdoor lunch reception at a beautiful country estate? I'd probably save the black for another event.

Missingthegore · 11/04/2023 04:45

Do it
Fabulous bright accessories and your good to go.
Weddings are much more diverse than they were 10 yrs ago.

BungleandGeorge · 11/04/2023 05:08

is it evening dress? If yes ok, otherwise colour and style don’t sound particularly appropriate for a wedding. Black is still the colour worn at funerals, black is very harsh in photos and usually doesn’t look particularly great with ‘bright’ accessories.

Baabaa75 · 11/04/2023 05:13

Incredibly rude to wear black to a wedding. People may not say anything but lot's will judge. My mum wouldn't have let you in 🤣😂 honestly why take the chance? At least check with the couple, I'd not be happy at guests in black 🤷

Ffsmakeitstop · 11/04/2023 05:18

My mum wore black to my wedding and that was 41 years ago. She looked great.
No angst just ask the bride you are friends after all.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 11/04/2023 05:49

if you wear bright colored accessories etc fine, with black or neutral accessories no

Doingmybest12 · 11/04/2023 07:03

I think its fine but if you will worry on the day and not feel comfortable then choose something else.

Strangestthings · 11/04/2023 07:19

Wear it! No one cares nowadays. Especially for an A/W wedding

Womencanlift · 11/04/2023 07:21

ChristinaDior · 10/04/2023 21:01

But the bride is going to stand out as she will be in white. She is absolutely gorgeous anyway.

I reckon most of the male guests will be in black suits so it’s not as if I’m going to stand out in black in a sea of colour ….

But thank you everyone for the comments. A bit 50-50, so I will check with the bride wether it’s O.K for me to wear black. (Along with my partner who will be wearing a black suit).

Show quote history

In my experience of weddings I have never seen a man in a black suit. That, along with you in a black dress, would stand out and look like you had been at a funeral in the morning and joined the wedding in the afternoon

For men navy tends to be the most common colour for a suit at a wedding. Maybe grey, but I have never seen black with the exception of those wearing a kilt who would often have a black jacket

Wishawisha · 11/04/2023 07:22

I’ve seen plenty of people wear black to weddings and never thought anything of it. I couldn’t have cared less what people wore to my wedding either.

BUT, Mumsnet has taught me that people hold grudges about this sort of thing (MILs who wore almost white to the poster’s wedding 12 years a go and haven’t been forgiven etc) so …

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 11/04/2023 07:23

For the evening yes, but no veil.

Purplehyena · 11/04/2023 07:25

I wouldn’t, an old fashioned view or not it’s still held by likely a significant proportion of wedding guests. Why bother adding your own, albeit low key, drama to someone else’s wedding when there are other options.

Walkinginthesand · 11/04/2023 07:27

I love dressing in black but I think when you experience the reality of wearing black to a wedding you’ll regret it

AuntieMarys · 11/04/2023 07:28

I always wear black to weddings.

mozzierella · 11/04/2023 07:29

I would

Have worn black many times to a wedding. It's what i feel comfortable in

Why should you buy a new dress if you have one already?

mozzierella · 11/04/2023 07:31

People often are asked to wear bright colours to funerals these days

The rule books have long been archived

Laurdo · 11/04/2023 07:35

Personally I wouldn't wear black to a wedding but I know plenty people who have. I don't think it has the same taboo it used to. I got married recently and I'm sure people wore black but I honestly didn't really notice or care. I was just grateful they came and was too busy having the best day.

Aprilx · 11/04/2023 07:36

SmileyPaella · 10/04/2023 20:50

We had a Christmas wedding and one of my best mates wore black. She looked amazing!! If the bride and groom are ok with it, go for it!

Do people really run their wedding outfits past the bride and groom? Would they really have any choice but to say of course it is fine? I would play it safe and save it for the Christmas party.

ThatFraggle · 11/04/2023 07:49

You can already see from comments here that it's going to be controversial.

Some people will take it as a coded message of disapproval to the marriage, even if you personally think it's an old fashioned rule.

Why bother the bride with such a question?

For a tenner you can find a normal dress online or in a charity shop.

Three colours to avoid white/cream= reserved for the bride; black = funeral colour; bright red = attention seeking on the bride's day.

Is it that you like being the centre of attention?

Furrydogmum · 11/04/2023 07:55

I wore black for dsis December wedding and my black fascinator had a bit of a veil! Wore chunky crystal jewellery and didn't feel like a crow at a wedding..

Purplebiscuitwithsprinkles · 11/04/2023 07:55

We are going to a wedding in July and they have put on the invitation please do not wear black. We weren't going to anyway but was good to know.

My other friend is getting married in August and at the weekend the bridal party met up for Easter lunch. She was asked would she be bothered if someone wore all white/black...I didn't think she would be bothered but she replied yes, she'd be more annoyed at the all white but at the same time black all black would annoy her as she doesn't want it to look like they had been at a funeral. I've known her years and she's always been so laid back. So was very surprised by this.

I personally wouldn't have liked all black/white too mainly to do with tradition being drummed into me when I was younger. Nephew's girlfriend turned up in all white short lacey thing at my wedding and for some reason for about 30 seconds when I saw her I thought who does that but then let it go still irks me a tiny bit when I think about it now lol.