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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Caught out on MN?

132 replies

C1N1C · 10/04/2023 14:30

Pure curiosity here. Since MN is quite popular, there's BOUND to be some issues spoken about with the person involved also being on MN. I think no matter how much we try to disguise it, coincidence and timing will help those involved identify us...

Has anyone been caught out? What happened?... or if those from the Mirror etc published the story, has it actually caused serious issues?

OP posts:
discobrain · 10/04/2023 14:32

I'd imagine it's happened a fair amount given people regularly name change on here to prevent being outed.

Jellytotsburnmytongue · 10/04/2023 14:49

I was wondering about this earlier! I was curious to know if anyone had read a thread and knew it was about them, or even commented in the thread, especially the CF threads.

Iam4eels · 10/04/2023 15:04

I once read a thread where OP was asking for lunch recommendations near a specific attraction and someone responded recommending a place I'd been to for lunch just the previous day with a friend. This poster described the restaurant, what they'd ordered, what their friend had ordered, and made a joke about an item on the menu - the same joke my friend had made when we'd had lunch. I sent a PM to let her know I'd spotted her so she could NC if she wanted to, I also did her the respect of not doing an AS on her username.

I NC and have 3-4 current usernames that I switch between depending on what threads I'm posting on, e.g., a username specifically for the education boards, another specifically for style and beauty, etc. Then every 6-12 months I ditch them all never to be used again and create entirely new ones (sooner if I feel a need to).

When posting I deliberately switch around my DC sex and ages, they are always +/- a year or two of their actual ages and I will sometimes refer to them as he instead of she or visa versa so even if someone was to AS me they wouldn't be able to tell for certain if my 4-7yr old is a 4, 5, 6 or 8 and whether they're a boy or girl. When giving details I will switch around or alter non-essential information that doesn't affect the meaning of what I'm saying, for example if posting about a holiday I might change the country if that doesn't affect the anecdote (i.e., our holiday to France becomes a holiday to Spain or a holiday in Devon in the retelling) or if something happened at softplay I might say it happened in the park, I might say I had two DC with me when really I had three or that I went somewhere last month when really it was last week

youshouldnthaveasked · 10/04/2023 15:04

I saw a MIL thread a few weeks ago and the DIL posted. It got deleted

Iam4eels · 10/04/2023 15:05

I'm always sceptical with threads like that where the other party and arrives and it kicks off. I'm sure most of them are just sock puppets.

Tinkerbyebye · 10/04/2023 15:06

There were two neighbours on here, shared driveway, both slating each other. Both posts soon disappeared I always wonder if they actually spoke to each other and got it sorted

Thebirdsareback · 10/04/2023 15:24

There is a cf thread on now where the SIL obviously just replied..

secretflip · 10/04/2023 15:25

my sister and I had an argument and a very similar post was put up on mumsnet with slight details changed. These slight details changed the whole story and everyone was saying that OP (DSIS) was not being unreasonable when I think they would have had a change of heart if they know the whole story.

The argument prevailed and DSIS used 'posting on mums net and everyone agreeing with me' as evidence for the fact she was correct. She finally confessed to the post and refused to acknowledge that the changes she made would make any difference to the outcome. I think there are so many posts where we only hear a slight fraction of the truth.

strawberryjeans · 10/04/2023 15:27

Iam4eels · 10/04/2023 15:04

I once read a thread where OP was asking for lunch recommendations near a specific attraction and someone responded recommending a place I'd been to for lunch just the previous day with a friend. This poster described the restaurant, what they'd ordered, what their friend had ordered, and made a joke about an item on the menu - the same joke my friend had made when we'd had lunch. I sent a PM to let her know I'd spotted her so she could NC if she wanted to, I also did her the respect of not doing an AS on her username.

I NC and have 3-4 current usernames that I switch between depending on what threads I'm posting on, e.g., a username specifically for the education boards, another specifically for style and beauty, etc. Then every 6-12 months I ditch them all never to be used again and create entirely new ones (sooner if I feel a need to).

When posting I deliberately switch around my DC sex and ages, they are always +/- a year or two of their actual ages and I will sometimes refer to them as he instead of she or visa versa so even if someone was to AS me they wouldn't be able to tell for certain if my 4-7yr old is a 4, 5, 6 or 8 and whether they're a boy or girl. When giving details I will switch around or alter non-essential information that doesn't affect the meaning of what I'm saying, for example if posting about a holiday I might change the country if that doesn't affect the anecdote (i.e., our holiday to France becomes a holiday to Spain or a holiday in Devon in the retelling) or if something happened at softplay I might say it happened in the park, I might say I had two DC with me when really I had three or that I went somewhere last month when really it was last week

I do this too! I’m not sure how many times you’re allowed to change but I do sometimes revisit older usernames, sometimes I’m changing every couple of days.

TakeMyStrongHand · 10/04/2023 15:28

Thebirdsareback · 10/04/2023 15:24

There is a cf thread on now where the SIL obviously just replied..

Do you have a link? Nosy!

I've seen posts on fb asking for advice then word for word copied on here. I always get so nervous posting any personal data such as DDog activities or personal questions as I will usually ask them in real life too. I also name change regularly and mix info re SO and kids

kitsuneghost · 10/04/2023 15:31

To be honest any sensible person who cared about others knowing their life details wouldn't be posting it on social media. So the ones that do possibly aren't so worried about being outed.

ShesThunderstorms · 10/04/2023 15:36

I've spotted two people I know on here. One who I've been in a due date group with for years, who copies and pastes her issues/long winded questions into every group we're both part of, her own fb page, WhatsApp group, you name it, I think one of her threads on here was picked up by the online papers.
The other is someone I know who was discussing baby names, same current child's name and same names that we'd discussed when we'd talked about it. Nothing interesting though.

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 10/04/2023 15:38

There are loads where lovers/husbands/sisters etc turn up and have a cat fight.
All bollocks usually and probably the OP enjoying their 15 minutes.

trevthecat · 10/04/2023 15:40

I once recognised a situation. It was not overly close to me but enough that I knew it was the person.

It was a friends ex, who had an older child (another dad) the step mum was asking about their situation. The mum had moved to the other end of the country and wanted both dad's to drive each weekend to pick their children up and drop them home for contact. I told my friend about the post, they got hold of the other parent (partner of who made the post) and they started doing one weekend each. So worked out well!

trevthecat · 10/04/2023 15:42

Mum refused to help so that wasn't an option. Both kids live back with their dads now

RollingInTheCreek · 10/04/2023 15:47

Iam4eels · 10/04/2023 15:04

I once read a thread where OP was asking for lunch recommendations near a specific attraction and someone responded recommending a place I'd been to for lunch just the previous day with a friend. This poster described the restaurant, what they'd ordered, what their friend had ordered, and made a joke about an item on the menu - the same joke my friend had made when we'd had lunch. I sent a PM to let her know I'd spotted her so she could NC if she wanted to, I also did her the respect of not doing an AS on her username.

I NC and have 3-4 current usernames that I switch between depending on what threads I'm posting on, e.g., a username specifically for the education boards, another specifically for style and beauty, etc. Then every 6-12 months I ditch them all never to be used again and create entirely new ones (sooner if I feel a need to).

When posting I deliberately switch around my DC sex and ages, they are always +/- a year or two of their actual ages and I will sometimes refer to them as he instead of she or visa versa so even if someone was to AS me they wouldn't be able to tell for certain if my 4-7yr old is a 4, 5, 6 or 8 and whether they're a boy or girl. When giving details I will switch around or alter non-essential information that doesn't affect the meaning of what I'm saying, for example if posting about a holiday I might change the country if that doesn't affect the anecdote (i.e., our holiday to France becomes a holiday to Spain or a holiday in Devon in the retelling) or if something happened at softplay I might say it happened in the park, I might say I had two DC with me when really I had three or that I went somewhere last month when really it was last week

I do this too but once a poster took umbridge with something I said, did an AS and started kicking off that I lied, changed from DS to DD and the ages didn’t match up. The more I explained that I changed the details a bit to protect my privacy the more it sounddd like I was lying 😂😶

PuffinsRocks · 10/04/2023 15:49

I once caught my aunt in an AIBU asking about something she had done to my mum that was unforgivable. I posted correcting some of her minor details i.e. claiming my mum was a heroin addict when she isn't. She immediately had it deleted for "privacy concerns".

EffortlessDesmond · 10/04/2023 15:49

I have recognised people in real life from their MN posts. None have been controversial though.

Iwannatakearideonyourdiscostick · 10/04/2023 15:52

@strawberryjeans I name change every day or so and have been on MN since 2006, so I'd say the number of name changes you are allowed is pretty much infinite!

Thebirdsareback · 10/04/2023 15:53

TakeMyStrongHand · 10/04/2023 15:28

Do you have a link? Nosy!

I've seen posts on fb asking for advice then word for word copied on here. I always get so nervous posting any personal data such as DDog activities or personal questions as I will usually ask them in real life too. I also name change regularly and mix info re SO and kids

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https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4781757-easter-cheeky-fuckery?page=3&reply=125319073

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https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4781757-easter-cheeky-fuckery?page=3&reply=125319073

MrsDoylesDoily · 10/04/2023 15:54

kitsuneghost · 10/04/2023 15:31

To be honest any sensible person who cared about others knowing their life details wouldn't be posting it on social media. So the ones that do possibly aren't so worried about being outed.

This ^^, totally.

EineReiseDurchDieZeit · 10/04/2023 15:55

I have more than one username and I alternate if something is particularly personal.

I was once on a thread were a pregnant stepmum was behaving awfully. Her DH had a child from a previous relationship and the OP basically wanted to have that child not exist in their lives outside the 6 week Summer Holiday.

She got absolutely roasted but their was a convoluted arrangement involving the child's half sibling that ended up being recognised by two separate people and the thread was pulled

BunnyRabbitSandwich · 10/04/2023 15:56

Thebirdsareback · 10/04/2023 15:24

There is a cf thread on now where the SIL obviously just replied..

Where’s that??!!

daisychain01 · 10/04/2023 15:56

C1N1C · 10/04/2023 14:30

Pure curiosity here. Since MN is quite popular, there's BOUND to be some issues spoken about with the person involved also being on MN. I think no matter how much we try to disguise it, coincidence and timing will help those involved identify us...

Has anyone been caught out? What happened?... or if those from the Mirror etc published the story, has it actually caused serious issues?

Why should anyone getting "caught out" have any motivation to come onto your thread and discuss the details and expose themselves further.

who are you in this and what's this to you?

Thebirdsareback · 10/04/2023 16:01

BunnyRabbitSandwich · 10/04/2023 15:56

Where’s that??!!

Show quote history

I linked further up ^^