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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Caught out on MN?

132 replies

C1N1C · 10/04/2023 14:30

Pure curiosity here. Since MN is quite popular, there's BOUND to be some issues spoken about with the person involved also being on MN. I think no matter how much we try to disguise it, coincidence and timing will help those involved identify us...

Has anyone been caught out? What happened?... or if those from the Mirror etc published the story, has it actually caused serious issues?

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 10/04/2023 16:59

This happened to me and I've posted about it before on similar threads. I had 3 consecutive threads about my utterly horrific divorce. I had a huge amount of support and quite honestly they carried me for a long time. At one particular court hearing, my ex walked in and gave the judge 3,000 posts he'd printed out citing "contempt of court". He even did a key of the names unpleasant names we had given him and OW. To this day I have absolutely no idea how he found out. The only thing I could think was that OW's circumstances were quite specific in that her husband had been killed in an RTA and she moved mine in a few weeks later. There were perhaps some other clues and I imagine somebody known to her read it and worked it out.

Anyway, the judge completely ignored this huge pile of paper. Ex and OW were so incensed they took them to the police citing harassment. They were told quite clearly that me anonymously seeking support for the circumstances they put me in was not harassment. I think they were just embarrassed because it would have been clear that whatever tale they'd spun, was no reflection of the truth whatsoever. Ex also had the temerity to write on one of my threads and was promptly banned. I honestly couldn't care less 🤷🏻‍♀️

Hawkins003 · 10/04/2023 17:00

Thebirdsareback · 10/04/2023 15:24

There is a cf thread on now where the SIL obviously just replied..

Which one ?

Name5 · 10/04/2023 17:00

God the advanced search button is hell. I tried to support someone with a teenage child with a similar story to my DD and got called a booze addled alkie who knows shit from a previous thread. I now have different names. My original one I had for twenty years. I loved it.
If you post on sex and gender be very careful.
I recently had a IRL aquintance's husband tell me he found me easily on munsnet. It freaked me out as it was a sensitive issue I have received huge support for. He's a knob though so I reported him.

thegrain · 10/04/2023 17:00

There was one about a shooting range

BeetleBailey · 10/04/2023 17:01

I saw my partner post in the cock size thread

They don't know I've seen it, I knew they were on here but didn't know their username

When I saw it it was obvious to me that it was them

BlueJellycat · 10/04/2023 17:05

I'm using four names concurrently. The more a subject is specific or identifying I will create a name just for that and never use it again for years. Gone are the days where there was any benefits in being 'recognised as a regular' on here. People seem to advance search you just saying 'I had a burger on Monday' so they can point out you was a vegan on Sunday. But of course I'm also slightly changing specifics about me in the hope it doesn't all hang together

IncompleteSenten · 10/04/2023 17:06

I've definitely recognised one person and the story they told was rewritten to make them the victim in every way when I knew they'd done some seriously nasty shit themselves that they'd conveniently left out to make the other side seem like awful mean people.

I don't know what they gained from it because if they had to lie to manipulate strangers on the internet to take their side - it's meaningless.

I've come across a couple of others who seem familiar from the details they give but not sure.

I keep my gob shut and move along.

Name5 · 10/04/2023 17:06

@BeetleBailey you dp was posting on a thread about his cock? Wow The lord must have been kind.

BirdChirp · 10/04/2023 17:08

I post a fair few outing details. But also try and stick to a rule of not posting anything I would be too embarrassed about if there was some kind of nightmare leak and everything appeared under my real name. Unlikely, but it gives me peace of mind.

I also name change every few weeks to shake anyone off the trail if they have recognised me.

Westfacing · 10/04/2023 17:08

kitsuneghost · 10/04/2023 15:31

To be honest any sensible person who cared about others knowing their life details wouldn't be posting it on social media. So the ones that do possibly aren't so worried about being outed.

Some people are naive. A while ag on GN a thread about a family drama appeared on the GN Facebook page and someone recognised themselves and it caused family problems. GN has a relatively small readership compared to MN and many posters seem to think it's like a private club, never imagining it could end up on Facebook,

Hawkins003 · 10/04/2023 17:08

Most of my usernames are different numbers e.g. Hawkins001, then it is known it's me (as needed on one thread) but it can limit my watched or previous topics.

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 17:10

Hahaha I'm the poster on the Easter cheeky fuckers. I'm not the SIL. I'm currently at my very nice MILs house having a roast (if FIL hurried up) after waiting hand and foot on a load of visitors.

I haven't got 4 kids and I haven't been away for the weekend. My sister in law isn't a snotty cow and my big brother doesn't explode. Hth

FangedFrisbee · 10/04/2023 17:11

I saw someone say on here they owned a home in Edensor which isn't possible. They made out they were lord and lady of Chatsworth essentially. It isn't possible because all the houses bar 1 or 2 are owned by the house and estate, and you can only live in one if you work for the estate.

I also know that all sales and rentals are run through the estate and Everyone knows when someone is moving.

Would you move out of free accommodation that's absolutely beautiful?

Anyway they said they'd just completed on their home there and posted a photo of the dowagers cottage that's never been for sale and never will be.

MintyCedric · 10/04/2023 17:11

Iwannatakearideonyourdiscostick · 10/04/2023 15:52

@strawberryjeans I name change every day or so and have been on MN since 2006, so I'd say the number of name changes you are allowed is pretty much infinite!

Funnily enough I was discussing this with a friend last night and took at look at my username history…I’ve had 26 on this account probably over the last 4 years, although it h I’ve been on MN much longer.

My SIL and I identified each other on a thread a couple of years back but it was nothing contentious and we get on well in RL.

Westfacing · 10/04/2023 17:12

What I don't understand is when posters say they've name changed but then go on to detail a very specific wedding/holiday/hen do scenario, which could be easily recognised if you were involved in the drama! Name changing means others can't search for your previous posts, but it doesn't stop the drama from potentially being recognised!

JerseyRoyals · 10/04/2023 17:13

I once spotted the wife of a friend of DHs. It was quite interesting as i found her to be quite superior and supercilious IRL and she was in her posts as well. I had been giving her the benefit of the doubt IRL (She had just stayed with us for a week for the second year running) and her posts confirmed to me that she really was actually that arrogant.

I have another friend who is on some of the royal bling threads and we like spotting each other and cross referencing jokes and the like. (I have another user name for those threads).

IncompleteSenten · 10/04/2023 17:16

Westfacing · 10/04/2023 17:12

What I don't understand is when posters say they've name changed but then go on to detail a very specific wedding/holiday/hen do scenario, which could be easily recognised if you were involved in the drama! Name changing means others can't search for your previous posts, but it doesn't stop the drama from potentially being recognised!

True but it means the person who recognises it can't go back through all your posts to find you think their cooking is shite and your auntie beryl never liked their kids names 😁

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 10/04/2023 17:23

St3amtrain · 10/04/2023 16:35

I haven’t been caught out (as far as I know) but I’m almost certain that this post is about me ☹️

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4713116-how-do-i-distance-myself-from-a-close-friendship-without-hurting-my-friend?reply=122842252

But that could be about so many people - friendships to do change over time- and particularly if it was based on your children being friends . I can understand you feeling sad about your friendship but that doesn't mean it's your friend who has posted .

Jellifulfruit · 10/04/2023 17:28

KittytheHare · 10/04/2023 16:58

I don't think it's the SIL and the poster clearly stated she wasn't the SIL. I think you misread.

Show quote history

Yeah @RideACockHorseToSunburyCross has denied being the sister in law

Robinsflyhigh · 10/04/2023 17:36

I'm sure I have under various user names been recognised.
My family dynamics are quite outing.

I sort of feel I can't post on here (without revealing too much) as it makes me paranoid.

Gh12345 · 10/04/2023 17:39

There was one I seen where someone (vague memory here) was complaining that they were walking and they went across a field and was told to get off or something. Turns out it was an archery field and they had full permission and the member of the archery society commented on the mumsnet thread to dispute what the OP was saying. I know it doesn’t sound too interesting but I was hooked reading it

ADeceitfulSubtlety · 10/04/2023 17:39

There used to be a message board back in the days where you weren't allowed to have off-board contact. Anyway, I'd recently lost my DH after he'd been housebound because of a terminal illness, so I was quite isolated and I started going out lindy hop dancing with a (female) friend.
Someone claiming to be one of his relatives found me on the board and absolutely went for me, calling me all manner of names and saying I'd only married him for his money because evidently I couldn't even wait for him to be cold before I started spending my inheritance.

Quite unsettling at the time....thing was, there was no way of ever knowing if she really was who she claimed to be, or if she was just a weirdo.

MeliaLane · 10/04/2023 17:39

I wrote a post about my DH buying me a very expensive Christmas present, that I didn't want. I was seeking advice about what to do - tell him or suck it up and in my eyes, waste loads of money.

It hit a national newspaper online only, I think. Must have been a poor year for Christmas stories.
I wasn't identified. I did worry at first that my DH would see the article and realise it was about us. He didn't. Nothing ever became of the story.

FangedFrisbee · 10/04/2023 17:41

Gh12345 · 10/04/2023 17:39

There was one I seen where someone (vague memory here) was complaining that they were walking and they went across a field and was told to get off or something. Turns out it was an archery field and they had full permission and the member of the archery society commented on the mumsnet thread to dispute what the OP was saying. I know it doesn’t sound too interesting but I was hooked reading it

Omg yes!! I found it!! https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/amiibeingunreasonable/4660748-to-think-archery-has-no-place-on-a-public-playing-field

Thebirdsareback · 10/04/2023 17:48

RideACockHorseToSunburyCross · 10/04/2023 17:10

Hahaha I'm the poster on the Easter cheeky fuckers. I'm not the SIL. I'm currently at my very nice MILs house having a roast (if FIL hurried up) after waiting hand and foot on a load of visitors.

I haven't got 4 kids and I haven't been away for the weekend. My sister in law isn't a snotty cow and my big brother doesn't explode. Hth

Fair enough.