To not want mugs in the car

[Justacoupleofbiccies]

Wise mumsnetters please help me out with who is being unreasonable here and how to go about this situation!

After years of scrimping and making do with mismatched, chipped mugs, I recently bought 4 affordable but naice matching mugs. They have little blue wildflowers painted on them and are the right size for a nice big cuppa. I know it's only a little thing, but starting my day with a cup of tea from a pretty, non chipped mug brings me a little bit of joy and gets my day off to a good start. I explained my thinking to DH and we agreed they would not be used in the car and would be kept nice.

DH who says he has no mug preferences and also has several thermos mugs to use in the car, keeps taking the new mugs in the car and they end up discarded and rattling around in the foothold. Now I don't like this for several reasons- dregs of coffee spill, the mugs risk getting chipped, it's a hazard in a crash and it's generally untidy.

2 of 4 mugs now have cracked handles. DH insists this is not from them being in the car. I accept I have no proof it's from the car but think it is highly likely.

I haven't screamed/ranted or anything else extreme about this, but I did say ONCE just now to DH that however they got cracked I'm disappointed and I'd rather they just don't get used in the car.

DH's response feels to me rather callous, dismissive and patronising. Brittle laugh, eyeroll, sarcastic nodding, sighing and "OOOKK, yes dear". The whole vibe is as if I am a nag or being silly and unreasonable.

I feel silly to be so hurt and frustrated by this situation, I know there are bigger issues in the world and even within my own life, but my morning cuppa in a nice mug is one of my coping mechanisms to deal with stress!

So...
YABU - Get over it, they are just mugs
YANBU- it's OK to want to use a non chipped mug and keep them in the house

Yanbu. I’ve never known anyone to use normal mugs in a car, always lidded cups! That would annoy me.

He's being a jerk.

On an unrelated point- nice not chipped mugs are available from
most supermarkets. You didn't have to put up with chopped ones all those years.

He's being ridiculous

Who takes a mug in the car anyway?

Hide your nice mugs so he can't use them

Yanbu and have my sympathies.

DH is a farmer, every single bloody morning he makes a cuppa and takes it to the yard, I find them in tractors, pick ups, the cow shed, broken from blowing off bales.

I've bought thermos cups, I even bought biodegradable paper ones, I've given up.

Never shall I have a lovely non chipped mug

Ive never heard of anyone taking a normal household mug and using it in the car.

Its a bit outrageous to be honest!

Very odd behaviour. Maybe you should just buy one really special one and keep it for yourself 😁

I hope you’ve thrown away the 2 mugs with cracked handles 🙀?

I take mugs in the car and yes it’s annoying when they rattle around but I still do it.

What kind of animal uses normal mugs in a car?

I've been hiding my nice mugs for years as the males in my family don't get it. Hide your best mugs in your sock drawer and take downstairs every morning, wash and put back. There are lots of cheap mugs and travel cups he can use.

Who on earth would take a mug in the car anyway..? His car sounds like a tip anyway, yuk!

Oh no that's not on is he planning to replacing your mugs ? I'd actually tell him he's not allowed to take mugs from the house because he can't look after them .like he was a child 😃

I find it totally bizarre that you would take any mug, chipped or not, into a car.

My dh works from his car he has mugs they are often freebie mugs from customers though not nice ones.

Taking an actual mug in the car? WTF. Tell him to get one of those small coffee flasks, or better still, don't drink in the car.

Normal actual porcelain/china mugs used IN A CAR? Not plastic ones, disposable ones or thermos ones?

But why? Car cup-holders are not designed for mugs with handles; why would they be?

Are you saying he is driving with one hand and has a mug with hot tea in the other? That’s dangerous as f*ck.

How does it fit in the cup holder by the way? The handle surely gets in the way?

YANBU.
Buy yourself something else naice and see if he trashes that as well.

YANBU who takes regular mugs in the car. Buy yourself one nice mug that no one else is allowed to use.

Such a strange thread

Mugs are really cheap. Like you can get decent ones from the pound store/ Tesco etc.

And- how can you drive and use a regular mug? If it’s a nice big cuppa as you say, it surely won’t fit in the holder.
Alternate universe you have there.

I am with you. Not just because of the nice mug to drink out of, but because of the need sometimes to break suddenly, given the (usually) male drivers who feel inadequate about a body part and drive BMWs or Audis.

That would give me the utter rage YANBU

OP and @Divorcedalongtime can you enlighten us on how this 'household mugs in car' thing works? Where do they go? Are there special cup holders in place in the car? Do you/the driver hold them whilst driving, or balance them on the passenger seat or centre console with coffee splashing everywhere? Or is it a case of getting into the car and downing the remainder like a shot, dumping the emptied mug on the floor and then driving away? Because if that's the case why not just do that before leaving the house and pop the mug on the side instead?

Is he normally such a bloody idiot ? Sit him down and explain to him in a voice you would use for a 2 year old that taking ceramic mugs in the car is not safe or clever and when he moans about you speaking to him like he is a child point out that he is behaving like a child.

I know everyone is getting really hung up on the mugs but he spoke to you really rudely is he always so nasty?