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Original poster

Finishing my drink?

102 replies

StreamingCervix · 09/04/2023 21:49

recently, particularly over the bank holiday weekend I’ve been having a reoccurring issue with my dp. I find my final drink in a pub can take a little longer to finish, and he will finish his pint quite ahead of me. The issue seems to be that when he’s done and he wants to move on to another venue/home, he’s very done with the night of socialising and wants to make a move asap. I also am ready to go back, however I want to finish my drink without snipey digs and comments.

Who’s being unreasonable? DP for sniping or me for seemingly taking too long to finish my
drink and leave?

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 10/04/2023 08:02

Does he dictate what time you both go to bed? Or is this control just in the pub? What he said about you having fun is odd. He should leave without you.

minmooch · 10/04/2023 08:04

My DP takes so long to finish that last drink. He's a beer drinker and the other pints go down quickly. But come to the last pint when he's said 'we'll go after this one' or 'wait for me it's my last one' I'm ready to tear my hair out as this last 2 inches of beer takes forever.

So now when I'm ready to go I leave. Whether he's on that last pint or not. The last drink was stressing me out it was ruining the otherwise lovely evening.

DP has no issue with me going when I'm ready, usually much earlier on in the evening as I'm not a big drinker. But even if I stay the whole evening I can't stay for him to finish that last pint - it's too infuriating. Difference is we are able to laugh about it.

Aprilx · 10/04/2023 08:05

Ponoka7 · 10/04/2023 08:02

Does he dictate what time you both go to bed? Or is this control just in the pub? What he said about you having fun is odd. He should leave without you.

Who on earth goes out with their spouse and then routinely leaves abd goes home without them?

Original poster
StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 08:08

I think he’s established in his life and is used to doing things as he wants them done. He wants me to move in with him but I can just see that it’s me who’s making the compromises and fitting in to his life/his preferences.

He was sitting at a table chatting with his mates and watching the golf on a big tv infront of him. the same thing he was planning to do three minutes after he walked out of the pub and got home for the evening. I just felt like it wouldn’t have killed him to stay for 15 minutes or so and allow me to enjoy my drink in peace, without nagging.

I could get a half, but then I wanted the pint. But maybe I’ll take this on board and make more compromises to suit his needs.

OP posts:
minmooch · 10/04/2023 08:13

@Aprilx I do quite often. Our local pub is 5 mins walk. I'm not joined at the hip with my dp. I don't really consider going to the pub as going 'out out' if you see what I mean.

I f we go out for a meal and then a drink somewhere we go home together.

IsolatedWilderness · 10/04/2023 08:13

Maybe you both need to set a time to leave and leave at that time. Anyone with drinks left quickly finishes or leave it?

Aprilx · 10/04/2023 08:14

StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 08:08

I think he’s established in his life and is used to doing things as he wants them done. He wants me to move in with him but I can just see that it’s me who’s making the compromises and fitting in to his life/his preferences.

He was sitting at a table chatting with his mates and watching the golf on a big tv infront of him. the same thing he was planning to do three minutes after he walked out of the pub and got home for the evening. I just felt like it wouldn’t have killed him to stay for 15 minutes or so and allow me to enjoy my drink in peace, without nagging.

I could get a half, but then I wanted the pint. But maybe I’ll take this on board and make more compromises to suit his needs.

It doesn’t sound like you are compatible to be honest. Or that you even like him.

But I do think you are being unreasonable in expecting somebody to sit there for 15 minutes watching you slowly finish you drink.

Aprilx · 10/04/2023 08:16

minmooch · 10/04/2023 08:13

@Aprilx I do quite often. Our local pub is 5 mins walk. I'm not joined at the hip with my dp. I don't really consider going to the pub as going 'out out' if you see what I mean.

I f we go out for a meal and then a drink somewhere we go home together.

I didn’t say couples should be joined at the hip, so no need for your snidey comment. But I thought it was quite normal for couple to go out together and come home together.

nomoremerlot · 10/04/2023 08:16

StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 08:08

I think he’s established in his life and is used to doing things as he wants them done. He wants me to move in with him but I can just see that it’s me who’s making the compromises and fitting in to his life/his preferences.

He was sitting at a table chatting with his mates and watching the golf on a big tv infront of him. the same thing he was planning to do three minutes after he walked out of the pub and got home for the evening. I just felt like it wouldn’t have killed him to stay for 15 minutes or so and allow me to enjoy my drink in peace, without nagging.

I could get a half, but then I wanted the pint. But maybe I’ll take this on board and make more compromises to suit his needs.

You're not compatible, you don't live together, mice on?

You want a pint, even thought you're bloated.

He wants to go home, even if you don't?

It's not working now, let alone when you move in.

CovertImage · 10/04/2023 08:17

Why shouldn't take as long to finish her effing drink as she wants to? She suggested that he leaves for home if he's that desperate to go but he doesn't want to do that either.

Original poster
StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 08:18

That’s fair enough, I’ll take it on board.

I think from my perspective I don’t expect him to do anything. He has options available and if he is ready to go then he should go, like I suggested. I was having a nice time, as was he up until the point where he no longer was, and then it felt like he wasn’t wanting anyone to enjoy being out past that point.

there’s a lot of love between us, but you’re probably right that I don’t particularly like him this morning. I slept in the spare room as he didn’t want to have any kind of conversation so I don’t feel like being in his company.

OP posts:
Lordofthebutterfloofs · 10/04/2023 08:20

Sounds like you both need to drink a lot less if this is regularly an issue.

nomoremerlot · 10/04/2023 08:20

StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 08:18

That’s fair enough, I’ll take it on board.

I think from my perspective I don’t expect him to do anything. He has options available and if he is ready to go then he should go, like I suggested. I was having a nice time, as was he up until the point where he no longer was, and then it felt like he wasn’t wanting anyone to enjoy being out past that point.

there’s a lot of love between us, but you’re probably right that I don’t particularly like him this morning. I slept in the spare room as he didn’t want to have any kind of conversation so I don’t feel like being in his company.

So it was a one off or a general thing?

IsolatedWilderness · 10/04/2023 08:22

If you're feeling bloated and that's why you need to drink slowly, do you need to finish that drink? Do you even want to drink till you're bloated or do you just do it because you're there and it keeps you busy?

MagpiePi · 10/04/2023 08:25

You drink 5 pints on a quiet night out ?!!

<< entirely misses the point of the OP >>

LividHouse · 10/04/2023 08:28

Five pints.

Enough times that this has been an issue over the weekend.

Bleurgh.

Original poster
StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 08:29

I don’t think the bloating is serious, it’s just I’m not as physically capable of gulping half or a third of a pint down as quickly as he can, when it’s my 5th + drink.

it’s a bit like if you’re eating a meal with a fast eater but you still have some chips left on your plate, is there an expectation that they should be left for the comfort of the quicker eater to leave the table?

I feel like a capable enough adult to know what I do want to eat/drink/do, and I treat him as equally capable to drink and do what he wants to do. If I wanted to leave the drink I would, and have done on many occasions with my final drink. This particular evening I actually wanted to finish it, and was in the process of ‘drinking up’ but apparently not to his timeline.

he’s notoriously an inpatient person, but it just leaves a sour note when it’s impinging on my enjoyment.

OP posts:
Original poster
StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 08:31

😄sorry, I can expect the ‘You have a drinking problem, not a DP problem’ line of responses to commence now.

OP posts:
IsolatedWilderness · 10/04/2023 08:32

StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 08:31

😄sorry, I can expect the ‘You have a drinking problem, not a DP problem’ line of responses to commence now.

It's your liver. 😇 Just thought I'd get the ball rolling. 😁

Phoebo · 10/04/2023 08:33

takealettermsjones · 09/04/2023 21:53

Well of course he should let you finish, but it also depends how long you're taking imo. If you're both tired and want to go home but you're nursing an inch of wine for half an hour and insisting you can't go until it's all gone... I would find that annoying!

This. My DH always takes forever, most times I expect it but sometimes it can be annoying to always have to wait for him

Marchintospring · 10/04/2023 08:34

It doesn’t help that you are both drinking so much.

My DH is very similar with food. Wolfs it down at home, draaagggss it out in a restaurant. Particularly breakfast where they bring you tea in pot which he always has a second cup right at the end. I’ve tried slowing my breakfast down but he’ll match me and then still have the bloody tea at the end. One of many irritating habits.

Anyway I stopped drinking and found that although he was still irritating, it was much less and my response was better.

TheGuv1982 · 10/04/2023 08:38

Ha we used to have the reverse of this, it was me taking ages to finish my drink at the end of the night.

I think 5/10 mins to finish a G&T is reasonable, longer is taking the piss

Marchintospring · 10/04/2023 08:39

StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 08:31

😄sorry, I can expect the ‘You have a drinking problem, not a DP problem’ line of responses to commence now.

Sorry!
I would happily drink five pints not so long ago so I get it.
Having not had a drink for a couple of months I can see the improvement to my relationships. I did it for my liver and selfish reasons but it’s definitely helped with life’s other problems.

user1492757084 · 10/04/2023 08:41

He is impatient and should accompany you home.
You perhaps should start your final drink nearer to the time of departure.

Both of you should pay more attention to the agreed time of leaving. Once you are ten minutes over time you could drink a faster and he could wait happily until you are 20 minutes or so over time.

Unless you improve this aspect of drinking at the local you will never have a fun, predictable night out.

Justalittlebitduckling · 10/04/2023 08:50

I don’t think I’d want to go to the pub with someone who behaved like that.