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Original poster

Finishing my drink?

102 replies

StreamingCervix · 09/04/2023 21:49

recently, particularly over the bank holiday weekend I’ve been having a reoccurring issue with my dp. I find my final drink in a pub can take a little longer to finish, and he will finish his pint quite ahead of me. The issue seems to be that when he’s done and he wants to move on to another venue/home, he’s very done with the night of socialising and wants to make a move asap. I also am ready to go back, however I want to finish my drink without snipey digs and comments.

Who’s being unreasonable? DP for sniping or me for seemingly taking too long to finish my
drink and leave?

OP posts:
Veenah · 10/04/2023 06:58

Why does your last drink take longer to finish?

It would be very annoying if he knocked his back and then sat impatiently glaring at you, waiting for you to finish in a normal amount of time. However just this weekend I was out in a group of 4, 3 of us sat waiting for over half an hour after we had finished our drinks for the last person to finish nursing a small glass of beer. I was designated driver for everyone so couldn't just leave. We were tired and the atmosphere had changed as the rest of us just wanted to go home. Every few minutes someone would mention leaving and he'd say yes, I'm just finishing and take another tiny sip. It was a frustrating end to an otherwise lovely night so whether you're unreasonable depends on how this actually plays out between the two of you.

IsolatedWilderness · 10/04/2023 06:58

I'd need to know how long you're taking to finish your drink to know who is unfair. Ten minutes? He can wait. Half an hour plus, yeah, that'd get old. Can you finish up without rushing but also getting a bit of a move on?

FlounderingFruitcake · 10/04/2023 07:09

Is he actually rushing you? Or does he give it the time it normally takes you to drink a drink then start to get annoyed? You do say your last drink takes longer which doesn’t really make sense unless you’re purposefully dragging it out rather than drinking at your normal pace.

nomoremerlot · 10/04/2023 07:11

I'd need to know what drink you had (eg a small wine) and how long it takes for you to finish it (eg 2 hours).

Then I can comment.

GoodChat · 10/04/2023 07:14

Why don't you just not get a last drink when he does, and nurse the one before?

teezletangler · 10/04/2023 07:27

I agree that it's impossible to say without knowing how long you are taking to finish your drink.

IsolatedWilderness · 10/04/2023 07:28

I'm wondering if it's revealing that OP hasn't said how long she takes to finish her drink? Maybe her partner has a point.

nomoremerlot · 10/04/2023 07:31

nomoremerlot · 10/04/2023 07:11

I'd need to know what drink you had (eg a small wine) and how long it takes for you to finish it (eg 2 hours).

Then I can comment.

I do laugh at the ones that immediately say your DH is an arse before they know these facts!

It's like, he's a man and he is guilty until proven innocent.

🙄

GoodChat · 10/04/2023 07:32

IsolatedWilderness · 10/04/2023 07:28

I'm wondering if it's revealing that OP hasn't said how long she takes to finish her drink? Maybe her partner has a point.

She's just building up to it. You know she likes to take her time with things Wink

nomoremerlot · 10/04/2023 07:33

@GoodChat GrinGrinGrinGrin

Chickenkitchen · 10/04/2023 07:34

I find my final drink in a pub can take a little longer to finish,

This would drive me nuts, why does the last drinks specifically take longer? Is it so you can draw it out? So annoying when you agree it's the last round and someone nurses it eurgh.

nomoremerlot · 10/04/2023 07:34

@GoodChat perhaps she's just finishing her second cup of coffee before she can respond.

Pop back lunchtime to find the answer.

GoodChat · 10/04/2023 07:34

nomoremerlot · 10/04/2023 07:34

@GoodChat perhaps she's just finishing her second cup of coffee before she can respond.

Pop back lunchtime to find the answer.

😂😂😂

Aprilx · 10/04/2023 07:35

StreamingCervix · 09/04/2023 22:03

We do agree a time in general to leave. However it’s rarely set in stone and often times exceeds the ‘set time’ by some 3/4hrs + when we’re enjoying being out. So it seems to be that timings can be very fluid, particularly when it’s a case of him (both) of us enjoying ourselves. The issue seems to transpire when it’s me who’s enjoying finishing my drink and He has very little tolerance for enjoyment that isn’t on his terms.

the pub is only down the road, and I suggested he could make a move and I’d follow on shortly but that wasn’t agreeable apparently.

You haven’t answered the question of how long you are taking. Nobody wants to sit there watching you nurse an inch of wine. Polite people do finish up when others in the party are ready to go.

YellowGreenBlue · 10/04/2023 07:35

It seems easily solved by having a smaller drink for your last one? Eg a half if you're a beer drinker, or a small glass if you're having wine.

nomoremerlot · 10/04/2023 07:38

@Bepis are you drinking sloe gin?

(I'll get my coat!)

nomoremerlot · 10/04/2023 07:39

nomoremerlot · 10/04/2023 07:38

@Bepis are you drinking sloe gin?

(I'll get my coat!)

Sorry tagged wrong person 🙄, that was for @StreamingCervix

BHRK · 10/04/2023 07:44

I’d be annoyed if my partner rushed me through my last drink. He never does. I take about 15 mins more than him

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 10/04/2023 07:47

Why aren't you telling us how much longer it takes you to finish, and why it's only your last drink that takes so long?

Are you dragging it out on purpose? Why not just drink it as quickly as you do the others?

PuddlesPityParty · 10/04/2023 07:49

BHRK · 10/04/2023 07:44

I’d be annoyed if my partner rushed me through my last drink. He never does. I take about 15 mins more than him

But that’s a reasonable amount of time. If OP is always taking longer then I would imagine she’s dragging it out every single time which is annoying. But as I said in my first post, I think they’re probs both being arses about it with each other - they’re probs caught in some weird passive aggressive loop.

SinnerBoy · 10/04/2023 07:52

This sounds like my wife! Whenever we go out, she chugs 2 pints before the food arrives, whilst I've only had a few sips. I can't eat well on a stomach full of beer and feel pissed quickly, drinking on an empty stomach.

Then she sends me for another, halfway through the meal. At the end, I just want five minutes or so to finish my single pint and she goes to grab it, then tells me to finish it quickly.

I'm not talking half an hour, just a few minutes!

I got wise to her stealing mine, with the excuse, "You weren't going to drink it / I thought you didn't want it!" Without actually asking.

Original poster
StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 07:54

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, I was asleep and not dragging out my final drink, honest!

He drinks pints of lager, and I am usually drinking pints also. The final drink was my 5th and his 6/7th (he arrived at the pub prior to me, and I skipped one round.) I’d say I’m usually drinking a pint in 20/30 minutes, however the last drink might be 30m to a max of 45m, probably because I’m just a bit bloated and full up of liquid at that point, might be further in to conversation with others, probably going to the toilet before drinking up etc.

I genuinely don’t feel that I hold him hostage, and I said if you’re ready to head back then I’ll catch up with you. He said no to this as then ‘you’d be having fun for two hours!’ Which I’m not sure where he got that idea from.

the issue I think is probably one about compromise and communication, and it’s seeming to be a pattern that I notice as a flaw in our relationship. He didn’t want to communicate about it at all, and I’m being stifled by him wanting life to be on his terms

OP posts:
nomoremerlot · 10/04/2023 07:57

StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 07:54

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, I was asleep and not dragging out my final drink, honest!

He drinks pints of lager, and I am usually drinking pints also. The final drink was my 5th and his 6/7th (he arrived at the pub prior to me, and I skipped one round.) I’d say I’m usually drinking a pint in 20/30 minutes, however the last drink might be 30m to a max of 45m, probably because I’m just a bit bloated and full up of liquid at that point, might be further in to conversation with others, probably going to the toilet before drinking up etc.

I genuinely don’t feel that I hold him hostage, and I said if you’re ready to head back then I’ll catch up with you. He said no to this as then ‘you’d be having fun for two hours!’ Which I’m not sure where he got that idea from.

the issue I think is probably one about compromise and communication, and it’s seeming to be a pattern that I notice as a flaw in our relationship. He didn’t want to communicate about it at all, and I’m being stifled by him wanting life to be on his terms

Just order a half - problem solved

Well that one at least!

Aprilx · 10/04/2023 07:58

StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 07:54

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, I was asleep and not dragging out my final drink, honest!

He drinks pints of lager, and I am usually drinking pints also. The final drink was my 5th and his 6/7th (he arrived at the pub prior to me, and I skipped one round.) I’d say I’m usually drinking a pint in 20/30 minutes, however the last drink might be 30m to a max of 45m, probably because I’m just a bit bloated and full up of liquid at that point, might be further in to conversation with others, probably going to the toilet before drinking up etc.

I genuinely don’t feel that I hold him hostage, and I said if you’re ready to head back then I’ll catch up with you. He said no to this as then ‘you’d be having fun for two hours!’ Which I’m not sure where he got that idea from.

the issue I think is probably one about compromise and communication, and it’s seeming to be a pattern that I notice as a flaw in our relationship. He didn’t want to communicate about it at all, and I’m being stifled by him wanting life to be on his terms

You are still not actually saying how long you make him sit there watching you slowly drink your pint. You know yo don’t need to drink the same number of pints as him either.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 10/04/2023 07:58

StreamingCervix · 10/04/2023 07:54

Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, I was asleep and not dragging out my final drink, honest!

He drinks pints of lager, and I am usually drinking pints also. The final drink was my 5th and his 6/7th (he arrived at the pub prior to me, and I skipped one round.) I’d say I’m usually drinking a pint in 20/30 minutes, however the last drink might be 30m to a max of 45m, probably because I’m just a bit bloated and full up of liquid at that point, might be further in to conversation with others, probably going to the toilet before drinking up etc.

I genuinely don’t feel that I hold him hostage, and I said if you’re ready to head back then I’ll catch up with you. He said no to this as then ‘you’d be having fun for two hours!’ Which I’m not sure where he got that idea from.

the issue I think is probably one about compromise and communication, and it’s seeming to be a pattern that I notice as a flaw in our relationship. He didn’t want to communicate about it at all, and I’m being stifled by him wanting life to be on his terms

So why not just order a half for your final drink?