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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The notion of parents charging their children rent is absolutely insane and anyone who does that has failed their responsibility as a parent

61 replies

hcarter8 · 09/04/2023 17:48

No, your responsibility as a parent doesn't end when they hit a magical number of years. You chose to be a parent, that's a lifetime commitment, not an eighteen-year contract.

Im 42 now and lived in a very small house with parents who worked very hard and struggled with money lots of times but they never asked me and my siblings to pay rent. children living with their parents as an adult should be a given. Everyone does it, nobody thinks lesser of young adults living with their parents. Certainly nobody charges their kid fucking rent to live in the same place they have their whole life.

Of course, I don't mean you let your child leech off you till they're 40, never working or doing anything worthwhile with their life rotting away in your basement. But, provided that they are actively making something of themselves, be it education, pursuing their passions or something that will eventually lead them to achieve full independence and move out anyway, adding an unnecessary expense to their budget just makes the time they take to get to that point even longer.

OP posts:
SpringOn · 09/04/2023 17:49

I disagree.

TropicalTheIslandBreeze · 09/04/2023 17:49

I agree. I hate our British culture in that regard.

isthewashingdryyet · 09/04/2023 17:49

Popcorn, This should be fun

Botw1 · 09/04/2023 17:49

Thinking every family can afford to fully fund grown adults indefinitely is insanely privileged

mbosnz · 09/04/2023 17:49

Mmmmm, okay. Do you think you're a tad defensive, and possibly more than a little biased on this issue?

Florissant · 09/04/2023 17:50

And Pepsi. Popcorn makes me thirsty.

Morningcoffeeview · 09/04/2023 17:50

isthewashingdryyet · 09/04/2023 17:49

Popcorn, This should be fun

My thoughts too. The bridge is vacant tonight.

Hankunamatata · 09/04/2023 17:50

Sigh. Shock horror people parent differently

BabaBooPuffinsRock · 09/04/2023 17:51

Some people can't afford it OP. Not everyone can give their kids a free ride once they hit adulthood. Unfortunate but true.

Ffsmakeitstop · 09/04/2023 17:51

Bollocks. There is no way that an adult child who is working should leech off their parents. What happened to teaching them about real life. You know paying your own way.

avocadotofu · 09/04/2023 17:51

I absolutely agree!

ChocAuVin · 09/04/2023 17:51

The privilege is strong with this one…

Sherrystrull · 09/04/2023 17:51

Botw1 · 09/04/2023 17:49

Thinking every family can afford to fully fund grown adults indefinitely is insanely privileged

This. Such an ignorant opinion.

corlan · 09/04/2023 17:52

What about when your parents can no longer work through old age or illness? Would you still expect them to carry you financially?

TheOriginalEmu · 09/04/2023 17:52

hcarter8 · 09/04/2023 17:48

No, your responsibility as a parent doesn't end when they hit a magical number of years. You chose to be a parent, that's a lifetime commitment, not an eighteen-year contract.

Im 42 now and lived in a very small house with parents who worked very hard and struggled with money lots of times but they never asked me and my siblings to pay rent. children living with their parents as an adult should be a given. Everyone does it, nobody thinks lesser of young adults living with their parents. Certainly nobody charges their kid fucking rent to live in the same place they have their whole life.

Of course, I don't mean you let your child leech off you till they're 40, never working or doing anything worthwhile with their life rotting away in your basement. But, provided that they are actively making something of themselves, be it education, pursuing their passions or something that will eventually lead them to achieve full independence and move out anyway, adding an unnecessary expense to their budget just makes the time they take to get to that point even longer.

We’ll see, some people can’t afford to have an adult under their roof that isn’t contributing to the running of the household. And there’s no shame in that. So take your judgement and shove it.

Ylvamoon · 09/04/2023 17:52

OP definitely wants to move back to her childhood basement.
🍿 🥤

SweetSakura · 09/04/2023 17:52

I wish my parents had charged me rent and saved it up to give back to me as a house deposit, .like some of my friends parents did. It would have helped me learn about saving and budgeting (they never discussed finances with me and I was utterly naive )

FilthyforFirth · 09/04/2023 17:52

I personally wouldnt charge my kids to live at home but I'm not angry about it like you are and I recognise that I am in a privileged position to be able to do so.

CheesusWept · 09/04/2023 17:53

What the fuck has it got to do with you how other families operate? It’s not your business. If you don’t charge your adult children rent, then that’s entirely up to you. What other parents choose to do, and the reasons behind that, is their concern.

Pashy · 09/04/2023 17:53

I wish my family had charged me rent and spoke to me more about the cost of just living.

I got such a fright when I left home and wasn’t equipped for it.

derekthe1adyhamster · 09/04/2023 17:53

I disagree. All benefits go when they reach 18 from single adult council tax discount to child benefit. If the adult child is bringing in money they should help with financing the home.

Ilikewinter · 09/04/2023 17:53

What an absolute load of bollocks. I presume you've written this thread to really stir the pot ??

Lucyccfc68 · 09/04/2023 17:53

You have failed in your responsibility as a parent if you don’t teach your children/adult children the value of money, budgeting and that everyone has a responsibility to pay their own way in life.

Dotcheck · 09/04/2023 17:53

Until what age, OP?

Ted27 · 09/04/2023 17:53

I don't charge my adult son rent.

He does make a contribution to the household.

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