As the title says I have cut contact with my parents.
I don’t want to drip feed but this is a long story so I will try to keep it short.
As a child I was neglected, left to fend for myself, my parents were emotionally and mentally abusive towards me, my father went from job to job so we barely had any money, no food, no gas or electricity in the house. We often ate in the dark or by candlelight. As a child I often felt unloved and would act out to get some sort of attention.
I admit I was an unruly teenager, there was no consequences for my behaviour, I was told I would learn from my own mistakes. There was no push for me to go to school, to get a good job or try and better myself. As a result of no consequences I fell in with a bad crowd, got pregnant as a young teen and couldn’t afford to leave my parents home. So I felt stuck for years.
In recent years I pushed myself to get a better education and I’m now in my final year of my degree, I went to night classes and got a well paying job. I saved every penny I had and moved out. My working hours were odd, I relied on them for childcare so I could start work at 7.30am. I would often have discussions with them about not letting my child do what she wanted, the exact same behaviour as I was child. She would be placed in front of the tv for hours on end and fed McDonald’s, chocolate and just general rubbish. This often fell on deaf ears and they would tell me they could do what they liked.
I found a new job, one that allows me to work from home and around my daughters school hours so no longer rely on them for childcare. This is when I decided to go low contact, see them once or twice a month for around 30/45 minutes. During this time I done some soul searching, I slowly realised that my upbringing and family life wasn’t “normal” and that I needed time to heal. So yes I wouldn’t see them for weeks on end and neither would my child.
Since moving out my child is much better behaved, our relationship has improved greatly and I feel like I can finally be the mother I have always wanted to be. I want her to have a better life, better food and travel the world.
There have been small incidents that I have not paid much attention to, just added to my long list of problems. However, in the last couple of days they have accused my partner of being abusive and controlling. They think he is the one taking me away which is so far from the truth, he has been the one to listen to me, to support me and love me the way I deserve to be loved. He adores my dd and she adores him.
I had a final conversation and told them straight that he is not the source of my problems but they were, it was me that made this decision and that I just wanted peace and happiness. I want a loving family and that was it. Since then I have blocked them on everything and cut all contact. Other family members have since reached out and think I’m wrong as my parents have claimed that time doing this has made them depressed and they feel sad all the time.
Was I wrong? Or did I do the right thing?