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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate the way my DD speaks?

224 replies

suwoo · 14/02/2008 14:42

DD who is nearly 6 is developing a real Manchester accent. I know I live in Manchester, but I speak 'naicely' and would prefer her to do so too. Every time she calls me 'Mumm-eh' its like fingers down a blackboard and I always say 'its mumm-ee', well actually I normally hiss it. DH hates the fact I correct her and says that as we live in Manchester, that is her accent and I should get used to it. AIBU?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 17/02/2008 23:09

i don't know, it seems rather sad, hating the sound of their wee voices.

'i ever love the sound of your voice.'

if i wanted my children to speak like me i'd move.

otherwise, there's so much more in the world to hate than the voice of a child.

gnu · 17/02/2008 23:09

I'm in Manchester too and have an entirely unreasonable fear of dd having an accent different to my neutral one. I think that part of it is that she is part of me and I don't want her to become separate.

DforDiva · 17/02/2008 23:19

oh, i love accents. when i came over uk, i sounded of american. i think over the years my american accent faded. dd started speaking recently, and i do often think she sound like me dh is stokie man but he hasn`t got much regional accent as he lived everywhere untll we settled. dh thinks i sound like french speaking english iyswim
i think correcting accent is wrong.

MommaFeelgood · 17/02/2008 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lovecat · 18/02/2008 11:17

I'm from the Wirral and although I have Northern vowels (grasse) I don't have an accent because parents are respectively from SA and Ireland and both talk very properly. I was teased at school for talking 'posh' so developed a Scouse accent - that's disappeared in day to day life, but if I get drunk or talk to my school friends the Scouse accent comes back sevenfold!

My DH, who comes from Hampshire and went to primary school with Liz Hurley so if you can imagine a male version of how she talks, that's him - soooo 'BBC radio announcer' it's untrue. However, we live in Essex, so I'm fully expecting dd to have the local inability to pronounce an 'l' at the end of a word (ie Hill as 'Hiww') and miss out all her 't's (li'ul etc).

Having listened to my SIL (DH's sister) correct all her kids over the years to no avail, I'm not even going to bother...

moodymammy · 18/02/2008 11:59

I am from Co. durham. my ds is only 4 months old but when he starts to talk i would him to call me mam instead of mum.The word mum just reminds me of that deoderant! i know he won't though because we live in cambridge and so he'll have a southern accent. bugger. i would never correct him though, how rude! i just hope he never corrects me!

UnquietDad · 18/02/2008 12:07

It can be difficult if you see yourself as havign a "neutral" (non-region-specific) accent and your children start to acquire the accent of the local area, especially if that's an area where you have to live for work and have not necessarily chosen to live (not everyone has choices like that). Because, rightly or wrongly, you sometimes think the local accent can sound "common". I understand where the OP is coming from on this, and while I can see why people are saying "don't do it" I do sympathise. It must be possible to grow up in a particular area and not have an especially pronounced accent, because I know people who haven't.

Hulababy · 18/02/2008 12:10

When my DD was at nursery in Sheffield she started to pick up quite a broad accent - well compared to mine and DH's anyway. Now she is at school this is changing - she probably speaks better than me and Dh now, lol! She will picking us up on our accents

I would never have corrected her on her accent though. How demoralising would that be for a little one?

UnquietDad · 18/02/2008 12:12

Do they insist on "good" speech at your DD's school, hulababy? or is it just part and parcel of the people she mixes with? Because my DD's speech has got worse if anything since starting school...

Original poster
suwoo · 18/02/2008 12:13

Thanks UQD. I had left this thread for a bit because I was annoyed with it . I mostly feel really cruel to my poor DD as maybe my use of the word 'hate' was bought on by the looong half term and was a touch exaggerated! Thanks to those who have read the entire thread and have seen that I have listened to most and will stop correcting her (well, mostly ). I have been soul searching and have decided that is not the manc accent I don't like, its the 'Bury' part of it (a nearby area) that grates on me. I actually wish she was talking manc .
Anyway, thanks for all the comments, lets leave this now, its booooooring!!

OP posts:
Hulababy · 18/02/2008 12:15

I don't think it is drilled into them, but the teachers all talk well, without obviously strong accents, and I suppose quite a few of the girls do too, although some are broader than others but none seem very broad. I guess there are expected to do a fair bit of talking out load though, in front of others, so may eb corrected at times when doing this. Not sure really, but she has definitely improved since school compared to nursery.

Only issue we have had is one of her friends in American - so we have the odd Amercian phrase coming it, but normally well said, lol!

margoandjerry · 18/02/2008 12:18

I think it's ok to correct some things - but prob not mumm -eh.

I'm in London and I would definitely correct "li''le", "naugh'y" and all that stuff (not sure if it's clear what I mean - when Londoners don't say the T - is that a glottal stop? Or glo''al stop maybe.)

It's probably more acceptable to be snobbish towards a London accent than a Manchester one though. Plenty of regional accents on TV these days but not many London accents - I mean presenters not actors obviously.

UnquietDad · 18/02/2008 12:33

Maybe it's more acceptable to be snobbish towards a London accent than a Manchester one because a Manc one is seen as "regional" and a London one is just seen as dropping the h and speaking with a glo'al stop?

I do like the way Kate Rusby sings "Donald Dook" and "coostard pie" on her new version of "Village Green Preservation Society".

hifi · 18/02/2008 12:33

in todays papers anna friel says she has employed a nanny from lancashire to look after her baby whilst she is working in LA as she wants her to have an accent.

cleaninglady · 18/02/2008 12:43

An interesting question!! I was brought up in Merseyside and North Cheshire but worked with southern people for the last 15 years so my accent is quite hard to pick out apparently!!!

We now live in Cheshire (nr Knutsford) and my DC have picked up the local accent just in the last 2 years of living here!

I know what you mean about the very broad manchester accent though - I dont mind accents from any part of the country but sometimes its actually hard to understand a really strong accent and thats when it gets to be a bit of a problem I think....

UnquietDad · 18/02/2008 13:01

Our old friend Tim Dowling on accents

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 18/02/2008 13:20

Shocked and saddened by the way parents dont like the way their children talk!

My DD has the most beautiful voice in the world, I love hearing her talk, even her one-two-eight-nine-ten-eleven-twelve-thirteen-fourteen (whilst patiently trying to remind her of three-four-five-six-seven). She sounds like a cross between me and DH - what more could I ask for?

I do correct her on words though such as "'i not need no dinner" to "I do not need any dinner"

I have an odd accent - my mum is from Notts, my dad is from London but I get told I sound like I'm from Australia (no idea why!)

UnquietDad · 18/02/2008 13:22

Elf - do you end your sentences on an upswing? Like you're asking a question? A lot of people do these days, especially under-30s? My SIL ended up speaking like this? After three years in Norwich, of all places?

NumberSix · 18/02/2008 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 18/02/2008 13:32

Unquietdad

No, most of my sentences end up trailing off as I forget what I was talking about!

The oddest time (being asked if I ere from Oz) was when I got stopped by a gas company asking me if I wanted to switch. I said I didn't own my own home and walked off. He stopped me asking me if I were in Australia, then said upon my reply "oh, you look like it". So I not only sound like it, I look like it too!

I assume the question was based on why people might ask that rather than my daughters lack of word order?!

LovesCats · 18/02/2008 23:45

Oh bloody hell!
Lovecat, seeing as I love dogs too, gonna name change..if it works!

Lovesdogsandcats · 18/02/2008 23:54

Sorted!

girlfrommars · 19/02/2008 00:04

What's wrong with Bury?

deeeja · 19/02/2008 01:30

Well I have a neutral accent. I would like my ds to talk in any accent he wishes, I want him to be able to communicate effectively. I don't care what accent he says 'mum' in, as long as he says it one day.
He has asd, some things are more important than accent. Just be grateful your children can communicate and don't spend most of the day screaming at you, or hitting you, or biting you or pushing in frustration, because that is the only way they can communicate.
Speech is good, accents don't matter.

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