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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate the way my DD speaks?

224 replies

suwoo · 14/02/2008 14:42

DD who is nearly 6 is developing a real Manchester accent. I know I live in Manchester, but I speak 'naicely' and would prefer her to do so too. Every time she calls me 'Mumm-eh' its like fingers down a blackboard and I always say 'its mumm-ee', well actually I normally hiss it. DH hates the fact I correct her and says that as we live in Manchester, that is her accent and I should get used to it. AIBU?

OP posts:
Peachy · 14/02/2008 17:14

NMC- are you OK? Missed your post earlier. WAs going to ask you, can you e-mail with dd's birthday (as I know it is approaching) when you get the chance so we can send something? Also, the car has been sold and we finally bought one that works so we might see you soon again!

Peachy · 14/02/2008 17:15

And its AWlright me luvver

UnquietDad · 14/02/2008 17:15

I think it's reasonable to say you don't have an accent - it's possible to be regionally "neutral" especially if you have lived in different places.

I don't have an accent - and before you all jump on me, what I mean by that is that I am not immediately identifiable as indigenous to any particular part of the UK, beyond a very, very broad sweeping stab at a guess of somewhere south of Birmingham. And even then, I could be from Cheshire. And I bet some of my vowels and so on have taken on a tinge of the North. Some people betray that they are very obviously "from" Liverpool, London, Sheffield, Belfast etc. Others do not.

UnquietDad · 14/02/2008 17:18

The big telltale sign will always be how you say your vowels: grasse or graaas. (NOT "grarse" - that's how northerners think it sounds, but it's not.)

Original poster
suwoo · 14/02/2008 17:20

Thats what I stated earlier UQ, more or less exactly the same as you. I am definately a 'grasse' girl.

OP posts:
rosiejay · 15/02/2008 09:54

If it's just the mum-eh that is grating then you could do what my mum did (to avoid being called 'mam' when we lived in Wales) and get her to call you something else. We just call her by her name and have done since I can remember really...

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 15/02/2008 10:01

DS1 and I are southerners but when I married DH we all moved Oop North for 6 years. DS1 was 4.. within 2 weeks of being in school he has the broadest northern accent you could imagine.. far broader than DH's or any of his family! It's very very "catching in little ones and to expect them not to pick it (even if mum or dad don't have it) is^ unreasonable and a bit unfair I'm afraid. She's not doing it on purpose.

We moved back down South when DS1 was 11 so I assumed he'd take far longer to lose it again, if he did at all.. but he did - within a few weeks he spoke like a true southerner again.

I never caught the accent when we lived up there although I did find myself occasionally missing out words.. eg "I'm just poppin't to shop..." but still in my southern accent! Bit odd really..

It doesn't make you a bad/lesser person to have a northern accent you know!

cory · 15/02/2008 10:07

Well, my children were always going to be bilingual from the start, so adding another accent to one of the languages never seemed like a big deal. I think it's quite good that they can do the glottal stop- useful if they ever want to learn Danish!

And being used to switching languages depending on the situation, they shouldn't have a problem switching accents.

My Dad gave up his regional accent when he went to secondary school, because he was bullied, and I've always thought it was such a shame- it was a beautiful accent and now he doesn't sound like he comes from anywhere, just bland.

piratecat · 15/02/2008 10:19

morning paper, --your post made me laff.

I have a weird accent, somthing in nothing type, having been brought up for some of my life in wales, then devon, but now its predominantly south east, having lived in london for 12 yrs.

I live back in Devon now, and my dd who is 5 sometimes has some very Devonian lilts, which make me go 'aghhhhhh'.

Yet its also quite cute.

MouseMate · 15/02/2008 10:27

Since going to Nursery my dd has started saying loike and moy, moyne and I'm actually (acshewly) finding it quite cute at the moment. Dh is North Welsh (no yeah), I'm south west (my luvver) so we are pretty mixed up anyway.

Mind you, I'm getting pretty fed up of hearing 'mummy mousemate' and 'daddy mrmousemate' instead of just mummy and daddy - now where has that come from?

Original poster
suwoo · 15/02/2008 11:29

Mousemate, I know that 'no yeah' thing well, I grew up in Colwyn Bay. Where is your DH from?

OP posts:
hanaflower · 15/02/2008 11:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 15/02/2008 11:58

LOL at 'Suster', hana. Is that how you pronounce it?

StressedAndHarrassedMama · 15/02/2008 11:59

I was born in Northumberland and my mum was always trying to 'correct' my accent. We moved down south when I was 9 and she hates my southern accent even more

hanaflower · 15/02/2008 12:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Clegg · 15/02/2008 12:08

she needs to fit in, although I can understand how you feel. My mother was constantly fighting off my emerging Derbyshire accent, leaving me confused and it made no difference in the long run, but would have been fr nicer in the short term to have been accepted. tbh I think some kids develop strong accents and some don't, if she's saying mummeh, I suspect you may have a strong accent on your hands, and fighting it will be just that, a fight, and a fruitless one at that. Maybe get some earplugs and get her to start communicating with you by text

SilentTerror · 15/02/2008 12:12

Suwoo,I lived in Bury until I was 13.
When we moved to Cheshire I got laughed at for saying 'realleh', 'noor' etc. Soon lost it and spoke with a sort of diluted scouse accent common in 1980's Cheshire foolowing influx of scousers to Winsford a few years earlier.
Still live in Cheshire but on Eastern side and have developed what I like to think is a 'posh' semi northern accent,not really strongly linked to anywhere.
Oh,and am very friendly with Robbie's second cousin....!

Original poster
suwoo · 15/02/2008 12:27

Silentteror, I think its the Bury part of it that I don't like, not the actual manc. Oh Clegg, do you really think she'll have a strong accent? Eek! Silentterror, I bet I have a similar accent to you as growing up in N Wales, I had that kind of fake scouse, which went posher when I lived in Chester. You can tell I am 'Northern' but most locals, say I speak 'posh'. God, I'm such a snob DH says I'm a twat

OP posts:
Original poster
suwoo · 15/02/2008 12:28

Why didn't that cross out?

OP posts:
Clegg · 15/02/2008 12:30

I think you have to do each word individually

Clegg · 15/02/2008 12:34

I'm the same as you suwoo, I don't have a very strong accent, but you can tell I have a bit of one. I really don't know re your daughter, but some people just do hve very strong accents and others don't, and ime it's not just to do with how the parents speak.
I will have to really fight it, I live in London now, and HATE HATE HATE that thing a lot of the kids do round here, htey say 'aks' instead of ask etc etc. If my dds speak like that I will have to move to the outer hebrides!!!

Clegg · 15/02/2008 12:35

I meant I will really have to fight my temptation to keep correcting them!

UnquietDad · 15/02/2008 12:37

Why is it that some people have a regional accent and others don't?

Botbot · 15/02/2008 12:38

I've been in London for 18 years and am desperately trying to keep hold of my Cheshire accent, but it's slowly slipping away. DD is just starting to talk and I can tell she'll sound proper south London. But that's fine, because that's where she lives.

Oh, and SilentTerror, I know exactly what you mean about Winsford Scouse!

I know of someone who apparently sacked a nanny because her dd started talking like her

I love the variety of accents we get in the UK. It's one of the great things about the place.

Clegg · 15/02/2008 12:38

I wasn't professing to know if you're asking me, but if not I shall wait for that info as I am very interested me-sen

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