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Original poster

Announced pregnancy.... was told to terminate

81 replies

northeasrer · 09/04/2023 01:44

I had a somewhat close friend who has been messaging me over the last few days over a love issue in his life.

I was a bit short in my responses (just giving smileys or whatever, not being rude) because I'm tired and had nothing else to add.... He bought this up and I responded I'm pregnant.

His response was basically to abort....

I'm really annoyed by this. I'm nearly 40, he's 26, he's a friend I meet travelling, so he's not close.

OP posts:
CrunchyCarrot · 09/04/2023 07:05

OP are you sure he doesn't have hopes of a relationship with you one day (even though you have kept things completely platonic and there is nothing like that in your own mind)? Having a child would put an end to those hopes so he may have reacted in the way he did out of hurt/annoyance. Or perhaps, even though he knows you are in a relationship, he may feel that once you have a child you won't have any time for conversations with him? This feels to me like a reaction from someone who is now seeing his relationship with you change suddenly due to a baby coming along.

thegrain · 09/04/2023 07:06

Do you send him money?

Mindymomo · 09/04/2023 07:09

Ask him why would he say that to you. Maybe he feels you won’t have time for him when baby is here. Either way, it’s not a nice thing to say and needs addressing.

Aprilx · 09/04/2023 07:09

northeasrer · 09/04/2023 02:00

I gave him comments/my thoughts, was encouraging.... We had been messaging a lot over it.

Now he's telling me to stop a pregnancy.

Show quote history

You said you were short and responded with emojis. Confused

Minierme · 09/04/2023 07:12

I would guess he is secretly in love with you and that this is his (wildly and grossly inappropriate) way of trying to keep you to himself.

Testina · 09/04/2023 07:15

What a load of bullshit.
Your OP says you just threw in that you’re pregnant, then you drip feed that really you told him lots, including that “baby dad” 🤮was happy?

Xarrie · 09/04/2023 07:16

Did you mean that you expected him to figure out that you're pregnant because you hadn't replied in 24 hours?

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 09/04/2023 07:16

Testina · 09/04/2023 07:15

What a load of bullshit.
Your OP says you just threw in that you’re pregnant, then you drip feed that really you told him lots, including that “baby dad” 🤮was happy?

This threads had many contradicting parts to it.

sanityisamyth · 09/04/2023 07:18

Do 40 year olds use the term "baby dad"? 🤢

Testina · 09/04/2023 07:20

It’s only a few days since you were posting here on Pregnancy Choices as you’re an older person worried about abnormalities and you didn’t know what the reaction of the father would be, and you’re not in a committed relationship with him. And you’ve chosen abortion twice before (so it’s hardly a huge moral issue for you - no criticism of that, it isn’t for me). So it’s quite possibly he caught your vibe of considering about again.

nurseynursery · 09/04/2023 07:21

He may disagree with the fact you're pregnant without a partner. He had no right to say what he did but I don't get the drama I'm afraid.

thegrain · 09/04/2023 07:21

Aprilx · 09/04/2023 07:09

You said you were short and responded with emojis. Confused

Show quote history

Yeah what's going on op

Custardslices · 09/04/2023 07:22

Go to all the effort to write this fake post yet can't be bothered to either block or have it out with him.

What do you want us to all say? He's horrible. Ltb. Block. List goes on

Just block! Simples

GrannieD · 09/04/2023 07:25

Hes in this country by himself and but also having love issues ??

Forgot it was still school hols.......

usererror99 · 09/04/2023 07:26

Clearly a cultural element going on here as you are unmarried - your other thread clearly states you don't even really want to be with the dad so not in a stable relationship and have aborted twice more in your 30s so you're a mature adult woman. If English is his second language his reply was perhaps lost in translation / clumsily worded

borntobequiet · 09/04/2023 07:35

Why on Earth are you bothering to talk to him? As (I assume) everyone else has said, block and forget about him.

Mangogirl12 · 09/04/2023 07:36

I don't understand the cultural arguments. Even in those cultures, aborting a child is a far, far greater sin than being unmarried and pregnant. If he was religious he would never suggest a termination.

OldFan · 09/04/2023 07:38

@northeasrer He sounds immature and like he didn't realize women in their late 30s could successfully have a baby/bring up a child, perhaps?

There's a big difference between mid/late 20s and late 30s. You probably don't have much in common. He maybe sees you as a mother figure for himself.

Pottedpalm · 09/04/2023 07:40

Time to grow up.

QueenBee1234 · 09/04/2023 07:47

So you respond only in emojis (are you sure you're nearly 40?!) Then blurt out that you're tired because you are pregnant....so tired in fact you cannot compose a full sentence on a message.
Perhaps knowing English is not his first language communicating through emojis was not the best idea, but you knew that.
His response was odd but you both sound as odd as each other.

Schnooze · 09/04/2023 08:05

He thinks you won’t have time for him. Already being tired from being pregnant has reduced your availability to him.

malificent7 · 09/04/2023 08:13

Why are you putting up with thus piece of work? Tell him he has crossed a line and been very hurtful. Or just drop him

Felixss · 09/04/2023 08:16

My previous friend (he was gay did this) because I couldn't go out on the piss etc. He told me to get an abortion as it would ruin my life and I had ruined our summer plans. We aren't in contact anymore he swiftly dumped me when I had my DD.. Some people are users and can't fathom having the attention taken away.

ConstanceOcean · 09/04/2023 08:28

So you’re a married, pregnant women and you’re messaging some young guy about his love life?
Thats a bit weird.

If you were tired why were you reading and responding to the messages?
Just read them the next day or tell him you’re going to bed.

tinytemper66 · 09/04/2023 08:28

Is he the father of your baby? If not, what the hell has it got to do with him?

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