To have such horrible intrusive thoughts about dd12

mamabear715 · 08/04/2023 18:46

I'm sorry you're feeling that way.
I think you might be better telling your GP tbh.. I guess all mums think that way a little bit, but yours sounds more extreme. Hugs..

MrsDoylesDoily · 08/04/2023 18:49

I'm sure you don't really need to ask, OP.

You need to see your GP.

sage46 · 08/04/2023 19:02

I wonder if you have OCD ?( Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) There is a form of OCD called 'Pure O' which doesn't take the form of rituals such as excessive hand washing for example, that people usually associate with OCD. 'Pure O' is when you have unwelcome and troubling intrusive thoughts.

GeneHuntsCowboyBoots · 08/04/2023 19:11

Not diagnosing either but I have Pure O OCD. Though it can be quite a misleading name as it’s often thought that you don’t have compulsions like with other forms of OCD, when in fact the constant thinking and worrying is a form of compulsion.

There are so many different sub types of OCD, and ‘harm’ is one of them.

That said, usually, but not always, it becomes OCD because you think by having those thoughts you actually want them to happen, when in fact that is not the case at all and it plays on your worst fears. How do you feel when you get the thoughts? Just scared, or guilty or like you feel if anything does happen, it will be your fault?

Otherwise it could be a form of anxiety.

Either way you will need to speak to your GP and whatever it is, there is help available and you can get better.xxx

carriedout · 08/04/2023 19:16

i work in a role where I see these types of things every day in a city area so I’m wondering if it has affected me

Clearly this is an important thing to think about.

Your work sounds like it is colouring your thinking.

Can you see a counsellor?

Eranzer · 08/04/2023 19:17

I have OCD and this is a big thing for me.

PinkiOcelot · 08/04/2023 19:21

You sound like me OP. I have to talk myself down every time DDs are doing anything. They both drive now, so you can imagine the thoughts that go through my head. I can totally empathise with you. It’s horrible.

I’m now on medication from my GP. I think you need to visit your GP.

Dogsandchocolaterule · 08/04/2023 19:41

This is me and I didn't realise it was 'a thing'.

I constantly worry that DS is dead, drowned, in a car accident etc. I worry he will fall at school and hit his head,

I think I went to too many funerals as a child, I'm so morbid and very aware of death. But what is the solution? I honestly don't know.

LittleHouseonthemoon · 08/04/2023 19:45

Dogsandchocolaterule · 08/04/2023 19:41

This is me and I didn't realise it was 'a thing'.

I constantly worry that DS is dead, drowned, in a car accident etc. I worry he will fall at school and hit his head,

I think I went to too many funerals as a child, I'm so morbid and very aware of death. But what is the solution? I honestly don't know.

I was taken as a young teen by dm multiple times to the children’s graveyard and made to read the headstones I used to be crying I hated it.
I then a couple of years later got pregnant and she (quite literally) dragged me for a late termination but told me my baby would never have a grave. A few nights later I found myself back there at the graveyard by the locked gate sobbing, she found me and took me home - she knew where I’d go it was like she ‘set up’ the trauma and I always then had intrusive thoughts when I went on to have dc about death

thebaneofmylifeisacat · 08/04/2023 19:55

Oh love know exactly how you feel from Ds1 being a baby (now 34) I had thoughts of dropping him through the stairwell as I was burping him so imagining him slipping off my shoulder.

Sadly my dd was very badly injured completely randomly on a school trip so it's as though my worst fears came true. I had counselling which really didn't help. Most councillors are online certified and well meaning but

useless. If you haven't lived it you don't understand and just go through the motions of your counselling portfolio.

For us yoga/mindfulness/ talking and deep breathing and family love gets you through.

You are projecting things because you love your dd so much so accept this and see it's normal for you.

GP complete waste of your time they don't understand or you be seen as another hysterical woman.

Get to a class xxxx

Original poster

Gogogo1 · 08/04/2023 20:04

sage46 · 08/04/2023 19:02

I wonder if you have OCD ?( Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) There is a form of OCD called 'Pure O' which doesn't take the form of rituals such as excessive hand washing for example, that people usually associate with OCD. 'Pure O' is when you have unwelcome and troubling intrusive thoughts.

I think I do

OP posts:

RoyGBivisacolorfulman · 08/04/2023 20:06

I do the same op it can vary which person but all I can think about is this bad thought until I see they are ok.

It is OCD. I also have to stand away from train tracks incase my stupid brain makes me jump.

lingle · 08/04/2023 20:09

This sounds like my mum - thanks for posting

newjobnewstartihope · 08/04/2023 20:17

I completely under and it's awful
I wish I could help by my mental health is shocking at the moment

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/04/2023 20:22

Could be OCD, could be PTSD as you said you were affected by places in your past.

The only way to find out is to seek help.

Thehop · 08/04/2023 20:26

Oh my goodness I do this with mine all the time. I'm so sorry, it's awful x

Newuser82 · 08/04/2023 20:33

Dogsandchocolaterule · 08/04/2023 19:41

This is me and I didn't realise it was 'a thing'.

I constantly worry that DS is dead, drowned, in a car accident etc. I worry he will fall at school and hit his head,

I think I went to too many funerals as a child, I'm so morbid and very aware of death. But what is the solution? I honestly don't know.

I'm exactly the same. I didn't realise it was a 'thing' either 😬. I also think about how I would feel and what it would be like if the worst happened. Like play out scenarios in my head. I do have anxiety issues (obviously) it's not nice.

Suzi888 · 08/04/2023 20:37

I don’t think YABU we don’t live in a nice world, things happen, we are inundated with negativity on sm. Do you use sm? Could that be a factor.

Do you keep yourself busy when your DD is out?

Trinity65 · 08/04/2023 20:43

sage46 · 08/04/2023 19:02

I wonder if you have OCD ?( Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) There is a form of OCD called 'Pure O' which doesn't take the form of rituals such as excessive hand washing for example, that people usually associate with OCD. 'Pure O' is when you have unwelcome and troubling intrusive thoughts.

Was about to say this

OP I have similar thoughts to You and on medication. Doctor says its a form of OCD.

Autumn231 · 08/04/2023 20:43

I echo others that you could benefit from speaking to your GP. When my anxiety gets really bad, this is exactly how it plays out.

If it makes you feel better, this will not last forever if you do something about it. I definitely still have more intrusive thoughts than I imagine is normal. But when my anxiety is under control then they tend to pretty much disappear on a day to day basis.

There are lots of things that can help (exercise for me has been key!)

lingle · 08/04/2023 20:43

The OP indicated that it’s part of her job to deal with these events irl.

“i work in a role where I see these types of things every day in a city area so I’m wondering if it has affected me”

it does sound like it OP.

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 08/04/2023 20:45

You’re not unreasonable to have those thoughts, it’s pretty common. Eg DH took all the kids out on Mother’s Day to give me a break and I just thought, there goes my whole life, they might all die in a car crash.

It’s an OCD thing sometimes.

thebaneofmylifeisacat · 08/04/2023 20:49

It's a normal thing how about that?

If you think you are going mad that's so frightening been there.

Accept you are a deeply loving mum snd you are afraid of loosing those you deeply love.

Then try yoga/mindfulness/faith/ anything to make you accept these feelings as part of you and that's ok.

blueshoes · 08/04/2023 20:53

LittleHouseonthemoon · 08/04/2023 19:45

I was taken as a young teen by dm multiple times to the children’s graveyard and made to read the headstones I used to be crying I hated it.
I then a couple of years later got pregnant and she (quite literally) dragged me for a late termination but told me my baby would never have a grave. A few nights later I found myself back there at the graveyard by the locked gate sobbing, she found me and took me home - she knew where I’d go it was like she ‘set up’ the trauma and I always then had intrusive thoughts when I went on to have dc about death

Show quote history

LittleHouse, I am so sorry to read this. Your mother is one twisted headfuck.

desqel · 08/04/2023 20:55

When you witness awful things happening it's hard to remember that most people don't experience traumatic losses.

I can't stop the thoughts, but I choose not to listen to them.

(Works most of the time, and I forgive myself when it doesn't).