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Original poster

To be in tears over noisy next door neighbours?

128 replies

TinaTeaspoons · 07/04/2023 18:11

The grandkids in particular are aged about 4 and 7 but screech and scream like toddlers when out in the garden. They are incapable of speaking in normal voices but then one of the aunts is gobby as anything too so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. This can go on for hours and one of the kids usually ends up hurt which then results in loud crying. The aunts and uncles rile them up and encourage them to yell and scream. It's pretty much every Saturday and Sunday afternoon and all through the holidays. What's worse is that they have installed a hot tub right by our window which I can only imagine will make the situation a million times worse.
DH doesn't want to cause issues and will not say anything and will not let me. I cannot take anymore and think it's going to be a hellish spring and summer. Spent most of today cursing the noise and now in tears.

OP posts:
Jellytotsburnmytongue · 08/04/2023 21:19

@TinaTeaspoons I believe you when you say that it's more than just normal family noise. If you've managed to live your whole life without being annoyed by every single neighbour you've had then that shows its not normal noise.

I have the same issue with my neighbours except they live there permanently and there's no break from them. In and out of the house screeching, shouting ( more like roaring) instead of just talking. Howling like dogs and getting the kids to copy them over and over again. Banging and slamming every door and cupboard. They have laminate flooring through the whole house and run up and down banging. When the kids get a bath ( very rarely thankfully) they hit the bath over and over again with god knows what. It's just never ending.

Fair enough people have the right to do what they want in their own house. But when that shows a complete lack of respect for neighbours it's disgusting. Who says their happiness comes first just because they are gangs of animals. I shouldn't really call them animals as that's disrespectful to animals who behave better than this underbelly of society.

There should be tighter laws for this kind of thing. Or areas where the idiots can all live together and shout and bang till their hearts content away from all the decent respectful people.

btp54 · 08/04/2023 21:59

I had nightmare neighbours their parties went on for 12 hours or more , drugs drink and threats of violence towards me but I'm a stubborn bastard and got rid of them in the end, I won't be intimidated

Thesharkradar · 08/04/2023 23:29

btp54 · 08/04/2023 21:59

I had nightmare neighbours their parties went on for 12 hours or more , drugs drink and threats of violence towards me but I'm a stubborn bastard and got rid of them in the end, I won't be intimidated

well done!!
(but how did you achieve this...pray tell🙏)

aurynne · 09/04/2023 00:37

Record their noise during the day and play it really loudly in front of their window at night every time it happens. Surely they can't complain about the noise their own lovely children make? And you will make an excellent point.

ticktickticktickBOOM · 09/04/2023 00:45

Get one of those kid-away noise things - they put them on the outside of chicken shops to stop kids/teens loitering. Apparently it's a terrible high pitched noise that only kids can hear and they can't stand it so they move away

btp54 · 09/04/2023 02:37

We had them on film doing drugs, we recorded her singing loudly and breaking my gate, they finally split up and went there separate ways

Northernsouloldies · 09/04/2023 03:16

Unless people have lived next to anti social neighbours they have no idea of the stress it causes. These types have a sense of entitlement that knows no bounds. We put up with it for six years until the neighbour addressed her drinking issues. We should put these people to live next to one another.

Original poster
TinaTeaspoons · 09/04/2023 12:50

Definitely not something people can understand until they live it. Chatting kids, laughing and playing, fine. Screaming, shrieking, shouting to each other, not fine. Everyone has the right to enjoy their home yet we can't do that because of them. That isn't OK.

OP posts:
Northernsouloldies · 09/04/2023 14:02

I sympathise with what you're going through. Even now with a new neighbour, I get agitated at first sign of unwanted noise. Living for six years next to mayhem has definitely left its mark.

Pettypettyneighbour · 09/04/2023 18:47

Eyesopenwideawake · 08/04/2023 08:55

Part of the problem is that you now have an emotional reaction to the noise - your brain is actively listening for the noises and setting off your annoyance and upset. If you were living next to a train track or under a flight path your brain would filter out the sound as being unimportant so you genuinely wouldn't hear it.

How do you teach your brain to shut off though? I only have to see my neighbours and I get heart wrenching anxiety from their noise.
I'd love to learn how to disassociate from it..

Eyesopenwideawake · 09/04/2023 18:51

@Pettypettyneighbour - remedial hypnosis. It allows you to connect with the part of your subconscious mind that's triggering the emotion and switch it off. You'll still hear the noise but, as you say, you will disassociate from it.

Abracadabra12345 · 09/04/2023 19:07

Eyesopenwideawake · 09/04/2023 18:51

@Pettypettyneighbour - remedial hypnosis. It allows you to connect with the part of your subconscious mind that's triggering the emotion and switch it off. You'll still hear the noise but, as you say, you will disassociate from it.

I've been thinking about cbt but this sounds more focused. Do you know how to access it / track down a therapist who uses this method? Thank you. You really are spot on

Eyesopenwideawake · 09/04/2023 19:16

@Abracadabra12345 - will get my legs slapped if I post a link but happy to DM you a list of practitioners.

Pettypettyneighbour · 09/04/2023 19:23

Eyesopenwideawake · 09/04/2023 19:16

@Abracadabra12345 - will get my legs slapped if I post a link but happy to DM you a list of practitioners.

I'd be grateful if you could send that list to me please?

Barbie46 · 09/04/2023 19:31

I know exactly how you feel and totally sympathise. I lived next door to the same type of neighbor for 2 years and unfortunately the only solution for us was to move house. We spoke to them rationally several times and each time we were met with volatility. When we moved house every time I heard the slightest bit of noise I thought omg this is happening again. I'd say it took about 3 months to settle and after 4 years I'm happy and content and never had issues with any of my neighbors. There is light at the end of the tunnel. You might not have to make such a dramatic decision as I had but just to let you know, it's not always going to be this way. Sending big hugs x

Eyesopenwideawake · 09/04/2023 19:31

Pettypettyneighbour · 09/04/2023 19:23

I'd be grateful if you could send that list to me please?

Show quote history

Sent

connie26 · 09/04/2023 19:34

You could blast some awful music OP as people have suggested and wear some noise cancelling headphones at the same time. Hopefully, they'll get the message!

Abracadabra12345 · 09/04/2023 20:14

Eyesopenwideawake · 09/04/2023 19:16

@Abracadabra12345 - will get my legs slapped if I post a link but happy to DM you a list of practitioners.

Yes please!

MathsNervous · 09/04/2023 21:47

Brefugee · 07/04/2023 21:10

It isn't normal kid noise, and it can really affect your mental health.
But. There isn't really a solution. So you need to move.
In the meantime i can recommend Rammstein.

Great band👍

Original poster
TinaTeaspoons · 09/04/2023 22:16

Bad again today. Out in the garden all day and kids shouting at each other, actually glad for rain tomorrow as it will be the first day I get any peace. Thanks for all the support and sorry so many of you are going through the same. It really isn't on.

OP posts:
MathsNervous · 10/04/2023 07:13

TinaTeaspoons · 07/04/2023 22:23

Even for a few hours it is intolerable. The kids are not supervised and that makes it worse but as I said, my god, the voice of the youngest really grates. They don't speak to each other in normal voices, just shriek at one another. Then the adults join in, yelling loudly and whipping the kids up into even more of a frenzy. They just don't care and we are so quiet as neighbours that they are just taking the piss. The neighbours on the other side are in their nineties but think one is very deaf which actually helps in this scenario. But even the neighbours a few doors down would hear it. They know exactly what they are doing, they are just extremely selfish individuals.
I shouldn't feel grateful to get some peaceful sleep either. While I sympathise with those who haven't due to neighbours, it doesn't make my experience better or make it OK that many days have been ruined with their selfish excessive noise.
No option to move right now. I've just ordered some earplugs which is insane but don't feel I have a choice. It just really makes me angry that they would kick off immediately if we as a family behaved the same as them.

Play Five Finger Death Punch at 6am every morning at full volume. They will soon stop. I also played a spot of Metallica and Iron Maiden. Anything metal with a heavy bass will do it really.

I had on quite the variety for my neighbours. They eventually moved house and we now have like minded neighbours thank goodness. The new neighbours have been next door for 18 months and are very pleasant and considerate people.

Trendingtopic · 10/04/2023 07:18

The whole family live there, the grandparents, the grandkids, the aunt and uncles, or are they just visiting for Easter?

Oblomov23 · 10/04/2023 08:12

I had this last summer. 5 kids moved into a council house opposite, screamed and yelled and shrill noises all summer long. Was awful.

Original poster
TinaTeaspoons · 10/04/2023 09:56

Yes, it's the grandparents, aunt, uncle and 2 kids often joined by the other gobby aunt and at times, whoever else they can assemble just to torture us further. The only good thing about the heavy rain today is the fact that I get one day of peace.

OP posts: