To be in tears over noisy next door neighbours?

[TinaTeaspoons]

The grandkids in particular are aged about 4 and 7 but screech and scream like toddlers when out in the garden. They are incapable of speaking in normal voices but then one of the aunts is gobby as anything too so the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. This can go on for hours and one of the kids usually ends up hurt which then results in loud crying. The aunts and uncles rile them up and encourage them to yell and scream. It's pretty much every Saturday and Sunday afternoon and all through the holidays. What's worse is that they have installed a hot tub right by our window which I can only imagine will make the situation a million times worse.
DH doesn't want to cause issues and will not say anything and will not let me. I cannot take anymore and think it's going to be a hellish spring and summer. Spent most of today cursing the noise and now in tears.

I’d hate this too. I like to sit in the garden, relax and listen to the birds, feel the sun on my face, read a book. General low level chatter of others in their garden doing the same is grand but loud constant child shrieking I’d hate.
If I were you I’d move. The hot tub would be the final straw for me.
For all those who are saying not to be so riled just wait until your children are older and see how much you enjoy listening to other peoples young children screeching.

Oh that’s so awful. I have something similar - piercing screams and yelling - the kids are encouraged. The neighbor put a TRAMPOLINE outside next to my kitchen window.

so what I do is, I have one of those little tiny Bluetooth speakers, and I blast my music anytime they’re out there. Just so I can’t hear them. It’s noise and it’s terrible, but at least I can listen to some John Williams and calm down a bit.

my situation finally was alleviated a bit by neighbors getting so upset, they had the courage to go over and talk to the dad. Seeing as he wasn’t watching his kids at all. He’s more careful now.

you have some hope- if you have neighbors who are also inconvenienced by this noise, there’s safety in numbers, and requesting them to keep the noise down is not unreasonable.

good luck, OP. it is truly horrible to live with, and it wears something fierce on the nerves, especially when it’s every single moment you’d have for rest and relaxation. 💐

I’m sorry to hear this.

Personally I find excessive neighbour noise absolutely unbearable and get extremely upset about it.

It can really impact your life never being able to relax at home. I wish some people were more considerate about their noise.

2 kids play in their grandparents garden for a few hours at the weekend? Goodness, how have you survived this long.

Record it

Play it back when it's quiet

And they complain, let them know what it is

We go round in circles thinking about what to do. But we don't want to aggravate them or have anything on record when we finally do come to sell so we just make do. Sometimes I go out to get away from it 🙄.

Forgoodnesssake 🤦‍♀️.

There’s a family 2 doors down. The older girl wound up the younger one every single day to the point of her screaming as loudly as she could, god knows how she never damaged herself. Posting on social media, I was told ‘Kids grow up’ which has resolved the issue of course, although I went round and had a word once. It’s tricky, because they could just say kids will be kids and shrug.

If you have years of noise and it’s upsetting you which it obviously is, I’d move. I did from another house (extremely noisy neighbours, druggies, bloke used to regularly throw his dp across the room, then didn’t like us calling the cops). It’s made me very sensitive.

YANBU
There's a difference between reasonable happy children playing noise and the sort of antisocial piercing shrieks and screams of children who have never been told to show consideration to other people.

If the apple doesn't fall far from the tree with unreasonable noise levels, I doubt you'll get anywhere by talking to them though.

I know what living with noisy neighbours is like. I’m not a crier but I did I felt super-stressed, anxious and on edge. In the end I managed to mostly resolve it with them, but if that had not been possible I was ready to move.

So I would suggest it’s not really worth the impact on your mental health, I would find somewhere quieter. Preferably detached!

Yes this ffs , some people are clueless yes they may be annoyed or ignore you but just speak up instead of getting worked up and upset . You never know they may try and keep it down . X

I've got neighbours with children like this. Console yourself with the thought that they will grow up and get yourself some noise cancelling headphones so at least you can enjoy the garden when they are out there.

Our NDN literally LIVES in the garden pretty much all year round. He only seems to work a couple of hours a day then he's in the garden- alway whistling and a combination of drilling/banging/ sawing. Until you have to hear it virtually constantly, you can never know how annoying it is. He also plays music on his outdoor music system and then works out in his outdoor gym whilst admiring himself in the massive morrow he's installed on the garage wall. He has installed decking too that means they're chest height above the fence which is so intrusive. They have 3 teenage boys (16+ years old) and they play football/basketball out there at all hours of the day and of course, now they have installed floodlights in the garden, they can play into the night.

I really, REALLY want to move. They were out all day today and it was so lovely and peaceful- the only day I've ever managed to enjoy the garden as everyone else is respectful and "normal" noise is absolutely fine.

I have been through this, there’s nothing you can do. Saying something in my experience just triggers them to try and provoke you more. We didn’t use our garden for many years as our neighbours DC used our garden as an extension of theirs. It was hell. They are adults themselves now. But their entire childhood was a misery for us. If you can’t tolerate another decade of it I would move if you can.

But do you get a decent sleep though? Does all of this happen through the night???

I had problem neighbours where the young couple had noisy sex through the night and it stopped when we were getting up for the day. I had kids to get ready for school. A young baby as well. I needed sleeping tablets from the GP as this went on for months and made our lives hell. They also slammed doors through the night. A lot. And moved furniture.

Please don't complain if you are still able to sleep!

Absolutely won’t work, going round to try to speak with them. People behave in pconsiderately, because they are inconsiderate by nature. You will never get someone apologising and agreeing to keep the noise down, because they really don’t see anything wrong with it. They obviously know they’re being noisy but really couldn’t give a toss. And they are generally the sort of people who would just give you a torrent of verbal abuse if you dared to raise the issue. OP, if I was you I would seriously consider moving. You shouldn’t have to, but I think it’s your only option. Sounds hellish.

Really Maths, really?! We can't complain about days of hell because you had it at night? Can you reread what you've just written? Do you go onto threads where someone has lost 1 leg and say "at least it's not an arm?"

@MathsNervous

Same. I’ve had issues at night/early hours. Now I don’t care about any sort of noise in the day. My neighbours can be noisy in the day but thankfully they also like to sleep.

At least you can sleep, which you need to function. I didn't get this when my neighbours were inconsiderate f*cks. I was a shell of a person due to sleep deprivation.

If you don't like the noise your neighbours make during the day wear headphones, or play five finger death punch at full volume for them.

yes my old neighbours caused me sleep deprivation worse than having my babies. I nearly lost my job and we were unable to function as a family. Noise in the day isn’t that disruptive in the grand scheme of things.

I'm sorry you had trouble at night (fwiw I dint sleep through for many years due to a child with SEN) but I really think plopping onto a thread to say "well at least its not as bad as I had it") is really really bad form. Are you usually lacking in empathy? Are you about do do a spree on those that cant afford to heat their home with "at least you have a home" or pre kids did you go on all the difficult baby threads and say "at least you have a baby".. I hope you can see why this isn't really kind or helpful for anyone.

Gosh really bizarre serious of posts. Yes noise in the day can be a big deal in the grand scheme of things. If you see above many people have had to move house and honestly we would if we could afford it.

People like this are impossible to reason with. You could have a go and might be lucky but they’ll more likely brand you as “stuck up” and delight in annoying you.

I sympathise. I love a quiet sunny garden but can constantly hear screaming, next door revving engines right next to my windows, men working on engines and dropping spanners, talking loudly, dogs barking. It’s an attack on all the senses and during lockdowns there were times I really wanted to scream at them all to fuck the fuck off.

Did you kill them?! This sounds like the start of a novel I would definitely read.

I mean I had it at night I don’t see why she can’t complain - noise is noise.