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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have said this in response to new age friend.

103 replies

tulipb · 07/04/2023 13:15

Happy Good Friday everyone.

I need opinion as I've had a few mixed opinions from my real life friends.

I've recently became friends with the new partner of one of my neighbours.

Everything was going well until I told her I had just came home from getting my dc4 immunisations (8 weeks)
She gasped in horror and said she couldn't believe I would inject poisons in my baby and none of her children have had the immunisations as it's "poison" and now she thinks different of me as the "universe" created our children perfect without "man made" chemicals injected into them!

(She is very new age in belief and I follow Christianity)
*
I was quite taken aback. *

I just replied "how can you think the immunisations are poison and full of chemicals and cause blah blah blah but you're quite happy with man made formula milk" she responded saying I'm being ridiculous and walked off.

(Let me just say, I have no issue with formula milk. I just wanted to use it as an example because it is man made"

But my friends have told me I'm out of order for using what she feeds her baby as an example.
Why shouldn't I be able to defend myself when she's personally attacked my decision to give my children immunisations?

I'm not in the wrong am I?

OP posts:
MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 07/04/2023 13:34

I would just point blank ignore her from now on she's batshit crazy.

M103 · 07/04/2023 13:41

I think you were right in your response. She should be more respectful of other people's choices even if she doesn't agree with them.

MrsDoylesDoily · 07/04/2023 13:44

You're not friends so just avoid each other as much as possible from now on.

Fairislefandango · 07/04/2023 13:45

Your response was totally reasonable. She's an idiot and a hypocrite. If she doesn't like people giving their opinions about her parenting choices, why on earth does she go around spouting her ignorant nonsense sbout theirs?

Notbeingdismissive · 07/04/2023 13:56

You should just have responded 'Ok' and either changed the subject or walked away.

Not just on new age stuff, but any topic where a person it baiting a reaction.

I learnt it at work. Avoids all sorts of conflicts with difficult people.

RemoteControlDoobry · 07/04/2023 14:07

I’d describe myself as a bit new-age/woo/whatever and find it ridiculous that some people are so deluded and illogical that they don’t realise that they only have the ‘luxury’ of their beliefs about vaccines because most people have their children vaccinated.

RemoteControlDoobry · 07/04/2023 14:09

Plus she’s a bit stupid to be so disbelieving of your decision when almost all children are vaccinated.

MelsMoneyTree · 07/04/2023 14:10

Hmm, vaccinations, Christianity, and formula milk. If only you'd parked in front of her house this thread would have everything.

MavisMcMinty · 07/04/2023 14:14

MelsMoneyTree · 07/04/2023 14:10

Hmm, vaccinations, Christianity, and formula milk. If only you'd parked in front of her house this thread would have everything.

I think you’re forgetting the dog, and the outing hobby of the husband.

Original poster
tulipb · 07/04/2023 14:17

MelsMoneyTree · 07/04/2023 14:10

Hmm, vaccinations, Christianity, and formula milk. If only you'd parked in front of her house this thread would have everything.

No! She parks outside mine GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 07/04/2023 14:23

I have a neighbour like this. She doesn't believe in "chemicals" and won't out them on or in her, or her children's, body. This appears only to count for pharmaceuticals, not brightly coloured dye for clothes/hair, those that make her car go, or those that you roll up and smoke.

We havn't spoken for a few years.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 07/04/2023 14:24

She has a Gulp car? Does it run on good thoughts

Happy Easter!

Bewilderedandhurt · 07/04/2023 14:25

I'd be keen to know what Poisons she would get from the pharmacy or allow a hospital to administer when her health or that of her children becomes life threatening.
Many in the third world would be delighted with immunisation from many diseases. Her ideology is very First world!

CuriousMama · 07/04/2023 14:30

MelsMoneyTree · 07/04/2023 14:10

Hmm, vaccinations, Christianity, and formula milk. If only you'd parked in front of her house this thread would have everything.

😂

iaapap · 07/04/2023 14:32

Avoid. Permanently.

if come across her, say hi but be in a rush

L3ThirtySeven · 07/04/2023 14:32

Yes she’s crackers, and sadly people who think vaccines are poison do exist. She should not have said what she did to you. I guess that is the end of a friendship.

Maddy128 · 07/04/2023 14:34

Your response was great and the comparison is apt. Man made products for infant health. She just wanted to criticise you and not be criticised in return. Now she knows not to bother again.

AgrathaChristie · 07/04/2023 14:34

No you’re not in the wrong. If no one vaccinated we’d still be in the days of children paralysed by polio, brain damaged from measles, or because the mum caught rubella early in pregnancy ( thankfully rare but I’ve met those children)

Ignore your neighbour, I just hope her children don’t get seriously ill.

LadyWithLapdog · 07/04/2023 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Curseofthenation · 07/04/2023 14:39

She deserved your response. It might make her think twice before insulting the next mother she comes across that chooses to vaccinate their children. Rude people do not learn until they get a taste of their own medicine, or should I say poison? 😉

Lullabies2Paralyze · 07/04/2023 14:40

Anti-vaxers are of any religion. A lot of them in America are christian

just wanted to point this out as I have a lot of new age beliefs but I firmly believe in vaccines (and need to ring dr next week as DS is due his 1 year vaccines and we’ve not had a letter yet)

agent765 · 07/04/2023 14:40

Short memories.

I'm in my fifties but was the later-life child of older parents. I still remember my grandparents talking about how many lives had been saved by vaccinations and antibiotics compared to how common now-preventable child death and disability were when they were children.

Ignore the idiot.

Pipsquiggle · 07/04/2023 14:48

I think you were totally fine in what you said.
She didn't need to say anything to you about her stance on immunisations but she did.
You pointed out her hypocrisy, she couldn't take it.

Motheranddaughter · 07/04/2023 14:51

I don’t think you should have said that
breastfeeding didn’t work for me and I would have been very upset if someone had said that to me
She is still batshit,although maybe something in the past has affected her

RobertsRadio · 07/04/2023 14:54

Stay away from the crazy. You cannot reason with someone who genuinely thinks the earth is flat, don't engage, just back away quietly.