To feel like a failure?

[retrosteamband]

I’ve had 3 “job interviews” recently. Failed all of them. Feeling very trapped in my current workplace where the work is dreary and the staff are horrible.

These jobs were internal vacancies that go out across my entire department (large public sector) and are open to applicants nationwide. The “interviews” were called an informal discussion with no structure.

I do think the recruiters already had a candidate in mind before posting and used the application to go through the motions if that makes sense? I only say this as all of them gave me the same good feedback of high scores with comments of “application was strong, someone just scored better on the day” and haven’t given me anything to improve on. The constant rejections really are making me feel like a failure cause my manager has to sign off on all these internal applications so would be aware I haven’t got it

Please don’t feel like a failure OP. The very fact you’re trying to get yourself into a new role to improve yourself and the way you are feeling tells me you are not a failure. I’m a big believer in what’s meant to be is meant to be so please keep positive that the right move will come about when the time is right. Can you look externally for something else maybe?

in the meantime, can you go back to the recruitment team and ask them what exactly did those other people score better on? At least that could give you an indication of where to start? Can you have a candid discussion with your manager and ask for their feedback and advice too?

could you also put some energy into training to just generally upskill yourself so you feel you are doing something productive for you?

as I said at the start, please don’t be too hard on yourself xxxx

Thank you. My current work is so toxic with people randomly snapping at each other. The realisation of having to stay is hard, I am genuinely considering handing my notice in