To think growing up poor can result in more fear of risk?

[ForestOfTea]

I grew up in the 80s in a household full of love but intermittently lacking in money (with retrospect, based on the amount of baked beans consumed, probably lacking in money more than I realised at the time)

Growing up I was always anxious about loosing things, as mum was clear they couldn’t be replaced, so I was super careful with school jumpers/pens etc.

Now I am older and have a good income, but still have a great fear about loosing things which I’ve realised is disproportionate to others- for example, on the beach I worry about leaving things unattended, whilst friends who grew up richer happily leave stuff.

This extends to other things too- I need to get to trains etc with plenty of time, even though if I missed it now I could afford to buy another ticket.

And to job opportunities- if there is an amazing job with a higher salary but it’s a fixed term contract, I am afraid to leave the stability of my lower (but still well-paid) job whilst colleagues who grew up richer jump at the opportunity, sure of parental parachutes/other opportunities.

Or, rather than being a remnant of growing up poor, is this just ‘me’ and I’d be risk-adverse regardless?

Of course. It stops a lot of people starting businesses, or taking risks E.g uni over getting a job.
its hugely under estimated as a reason some struggle to progress in life. It’s easy to jump when you’ve a safety net.

I grew up poor and now earn very well. I still get a thrill over being able to buy something expensive, or to pick something for aesthetics or on a whim rather than spending hours finding the best deal. But then I feel guilt over spending and anxiety that I should have more savings in case it all comes crashing down.

I'm also permanently afraid of losing my job and having no income, even though I've been permanently employed since leaving university.

I am generally risk-averse but I don't know how much of that is due to growing up in poverty and how much is my personality.

It's your personality.

I grew up poor. I also probably have ADHD. I'm the complete opposite of you. However, even though I could afford nice things, I don't get them, because I'd only lose them.

Different people are different. Some people are rich because they're careful.

I'm the same. We weren't exactly "poor" growing up, my dad always had a job, but we couldn't afford more than the basics most of the time. I didn't go on an aeroplane or holiday abroad until I was twenty for example and for most of my childhood my dad drove a Metro. We'd have own brand cola and a whopping 30p pocket money a week when every other kid seemed to get £2 or more.

I'm very risk averse these days. I only move job when I get made redundant from my previous one. I've only moved flat when I got served notice from my previous one. (Now I've bought one and will probably be here until I win the lottery or die.) Like you I can't leave anything unattended for fear of it getting stolen.

I spend my time expecting bad things to happen and generally I'm appalling at making good things happen - it's like I need permission to do anything, probably a hangover of always being told I couldn't go to XX or do YY when I was younger. In retrospect this was usually because of the cost but at the time it felt more like I wasn't allowed to do anything so eventually stopped asking. A good way of shutting me up as a kid but also a good way of ensuring I carried an attitude of not trying to do anything into adulthood. I need permission before I do something but don't ask for it because of an expectation of being told no. So I don't do anything unless I'm forced to.

I didn't grow up poor but we didn't have much money. I wouldn't got from a permanent contract to a fixed term contract for example. I was at university with someone like the girl from the song 'Common People '. She took risks with money and boyfriends that I wouldn't take. She knew her parents would sort things out when they went wrong.

Yes, I am consequently "belt AND braces" when it comes to savings, bill paying etc.

It's also why I have a spreadsheet with monthly income and expenditure projected for the whole year ahead. Before computers I used to do it on paper.

If we didn't have a cushion of savings my anxiety would be all consuming, my heart goes out to anyone having to watch every penny with no safety net.

I wouldn't got from a permanent contract to a fixed term contract for example.

Do others consider this unusually risk-averse? I think an average person would consider it a bad move.

@Dotjones I could have written your final paragraph there. I also wasn't allowed to do anything and stopped asking.
I'm very conservative with my money now and I live in fear of having no job, which is ridiculous really based on what I do.

Growing up poor has left me with fear over ending up the same and during times when I have been poor I was very cautious
It hasn’t made me risk averse although I am a worrier and tend to weigh up decisions especially career wise
As a child I never felt I had enough of anything so now I tend towards excess
We only ever had one pair of shoes at a time - in those days PE kit including pumps were supplied by the school so thankfully didn’t need even those - so now I have shoes for every occasion in every colour and treat myself to designer shoes every now and again

There is evidence to suggest that growing poor actually increases risk taking behaviour. It’s partly why poor boys join gangs, or start investing (penny shares / investments are a huge thing right now), or set up businesses. It’s also why poor women and girls are more likely to have problems in pregnancy - eg smoking, drinking etc.

I grew up poor but realistically so were my friends. If someone as,my definition of -rich, two.parents working and had a car or had their own house the were the exception in my circle. I have a threshold re money in my mind re expenditure. I spend money on things but baulk st big things. I would say the biggest influence my background has had on my spending as an adult is when I bought my house. I bought something I could easily afford as I am extremely cautious but with hindsight wish I'd had advice and bought something more expensive so I could downsize. Oh well

I also grew up poor (relative poverty in the UK) while DH grew up in absolute poverty abroad. We are more likely to take measured risks and assess the value of things before we buy them and this applies to both of our families too. Everyone I know who was dirt poor (ie those of us who skipped PE because we didn’t have vests or only wore pants during our periods or didn’t have clean ones) has done fairly well for themselves by taking massive risks even if it is in illegal areas (eg drug dealing)z

I grew up in a wealthy but risky household, always an attitude of what's the new project/devil may care. There would be annoyance if something wasn't as successful as originally anticipated, but that was a dent to the ego rather than any brutal personal impact. Total roller-coaster, almost like winning the lottery then losing at the casino, always drama, always changes from one investment to another, big holidays, big tax bills, big stresses, big party blow outs.

However my mother grew up poor and even though has been pretty hard working and well off all her life, she would be enraged if she didn't get the full value out of something or lost something. She doesn't and wouldn't buy a designer handbag.

I m now relatively self made(ish) rich, as in I ve earned my own money buy I guess it's easier to do that when you ve grown up with this (delusional) iron clad belief that if you work hard and get stuck in, you ll make money.

I ve always, always worked, but I realise now, that blind belief is only possible when there is an endless stream of money coming into the household and even if you loose 100k in an investment, we ll all just carry on regardless, there was no mortgage growing up, there was always an alternative and lots of different (of varying successes) money steams.

Regardless of the above I m not a big spender, expensive clothes are a waste. I always prioritise paying off bills before luxuries, to the extent I pay off mortgages before spending on my lifestyle. I shop in Lidl and tesco, I go to a cheap local hairdressers.

But I jump from any job that is toxic. I have no pension. I don't like fawning, false narratives or inauthenticity. All of these personality traits mean, I m a bit volatile when it comes to work, it doesn't bother me one bit to leave a pensionable job, I hate feeling trapped...... I may not live long as a pensioner, and I don't mind relying on myself, I don't need a golfing old age, I can do something else. I can live frugally if I need to.

I guess my wanton spirit of freedom comes from a very financially liberal household. I've sometimes not gotten a job, because I ve previously left pensionable jobs. On the other hand, the diving straight into the deep end mentality, has also helped me in my career, I have a diverse skillset in my field, not pigeonholed into one workspace all my life.

In one way I m super sensible, pay off all loans, never have an overdraft, always earning, in another way I m reckless, leave jobs, with nothing to go and gave to start again. I always pay for myself in between jobs.... Savings.

However I m starting to realise it gets more difficult to get jobs as you age, and also I probably need to cop on and spend at least 10 years paying into a pension....... Fuck it.

I'm exactly the same as you, I'll never shake it off. I've got a "look after the pennies" attitude even though I'm very much aware of how comfortable family life is for us in comparison to many.

Grew up in an average income house but we went poor poor for years when I was a sahm and I do it all now, panic about spending, worry about losing things, over analysing every little thing, and I talk waaaayyy too much about costs etc (oh my god it costs x? That’s x percentage of the electricity bill, or a food shop, or the cost of 4 tee shirts for the kids… etc etc!) it’s horrible

Yes all things being equal you'd stick, but a 6 month fixed term in a better job could be a springboard to better things.....or 6 months out of work! If you're poor with no savings 3 months of unemployment could mean losing your home.

I’m 47 and I still live in fear of ‘losing my job’. I’ve been permanently employed since Uni too.

I also have a pathological fear of being branded lazy so regularly run at everything at 100% till I burn out. Drives my lovely OH mad. I genuinely don’t know how financially secure I would have to be to not worry.

I am convinced it’s a product of growing up not exactly in poverty but certainly bloody surrounded by it. Think more MC people don’t quite understand the risk, if you don’t see the risk you can’t have the fear?

It’s a known fact/study isn’t it? I’m sure I read a book/article about how poverty massively increases risk averse behaviour because you’re not used to having a safety net, whether that is savings or family who can afford to help. As a result people who grow up poor tend to have higher baseline stress levels for the same reason.

I think it must be multi-factorial. It's natural for the situation you grew up in to inform the person you become, but there is a complex interaction between your genes, what happens to your family and how you learn to respond to it. You can be a risk taker or not whether you have money or not. You don't have to have grown up rich to be careful about leaving stuff unattended on a beach.

Eg do you play the lottery? If you don't have much money you can say "yes, I really need that win" or "no, can't spare the cash". Different responses to the same situation. You might have been brought up to have the latter response, but either is a common and normal response to not having much money, and indeed a lot of lottery players are on lower incomes.

• meant to say: You don't have to have grown up rich to be careful about leaving stuff unattended on a beach, but that doesn't mean your reluctance to take risk doesn't stem from your own experiences of growing up poor.

My experience has been that I’ve become more risk averse as I’ve got more well off. It may be to do with maturing, but it feels more like it’s to do with having more to lose now.

Of course it influences. I get angry when I hear people talk about how they built a business empire from scratch....like Richard Branson for example. ...but he borrowed a few grand from a relative and if it went wrong the consequences would be so different.
I also think having children makes a difference. Maybe I'd risk my home, but would I risk my children's.

Your upbringing definitely influences. My grandad used to go away for a month every year and leave my nan with no income. She would squirrel away food leading up to it. My mum's retired now but she still has a fear she'll be without food. We regularly find 8 year old tins, or 20 kilos of pasta. It's engraved.

Massively. It's part of the reason I became a teacher. Didn't know what to do after uni. Spent a year doing shit jobs, then panicked into teacher training, because I was already 22 and needed a stable job, rather than drifting about to find what I really wanted to do.

I also live in fear of losing my job and being thought lazy. When dh was made redundant a few years ago, my reaction was out of all proportion. Especially as he found another job quite quickly.

Yes, personality plays a part, but clearly so do circumstances!

For example, my mum and I are both extreme worriers. Because she grew up in poverty, a great deal of her worrying is directed towards career and money (despite the fact that both my mum and dad are in the top tier of earners in the country, and in very stable fields).

I never wanted for anything material in my childhood. So all my worrying has never even touched career and money – I can't relate to any of OP's examples at all – but I've found lots of other things to worry about 😂

So many things here that I relate to! My DH was bemused to find my mums kitchen resembles a small corner shop with multiples of many things- but think this is similar to @JudyRudy’s example- not that my dad disappeared, but that there were periods of less money so my mum ‘squirreled’ in the good periods in anticipation of the bad. Also that you often save money by buying in multiples!

I also find it harder to get rid of things than my DH (who grew up with more money)- whilst his attitude is it’s not needed and if you need it in the future we can buy another, my thought is always store it as in the future I might not have the money to buy another. I’ve improved on this front slightly by Re-framing it to if I don’t need it now I should donate to charity then someone who does need it can have it and the charity can make money, which helps as I then believe karma will help me find another in the future if I do need it.

To @HeyDemonsItsYaGirl - I totally conform to your average person would see moving to a non-permanent job as a bad move, but as you progress higher in many careers the ‘spring boards’ to get you higher still are often the fixed term or temporary opportunities… and I increasing see that the inability of those from poorer backgrounds to jump onto these (along with less ability to pay for self development to help career progression, such as additional qualifications or networking opportunities that involve shelling out for drinks in expensive locations) as reasons why progression is more limited for those who don’t come from money.