Bf doesn't compromise

83 replies

unk101 · 06/04/2023 07:51

Booked a date night away with partner and had planned to do cocktail bars, then do a rock/emo to end the night, but now he's saying he won't be going as he won't enjoy it and will ruin his night, where I have said we can do things he likes beforehand, then do the one thing I want to do at night, he doesn't think he is being unreasonable as he wants to enjoy his night but doesn't care if I don't enjoy my night as long as he gets to do things he likes?
And said I ain't to dress like a "goth" as he won't find it attractive.
I'm obviously annoyed as I had compromised to make the night good for both of us but he doesn't see what the issue is?

OP posts:

Fireflybaby · 07/04/2023 21:25

How long have you guys been together? Did he just find out you're emo and enjoy emo stuff? Did he not see you dressed goth before? That's quite telling...
If there's no compromise, is there a relantionship?

CallieG · 08/04/2023 05:24

Dump him & find a BF who loves & accepts you for What & Who you are.

He scored himself a bird of paradise when in reality he’d be much better with a sparrow.

Sparklfairy · 08/04/2023 05:41

I've been with men (yes, plural) like this. They want to do what they want to do and are horrified at the thought of spending time doing something that they don't, or even might not, like. Whereas I'm more easy going and don't mind sitting through boring football or F1 or whatever now and then.

These men don't change. They think the world revolves around them and what they want, and they never give an inch. It also points to selfish behaviour in other areas of their lives.

LlynTegid · 08/04/2023 06:09

He's not for you. Do the sensible thing and end the relationship.

Dashel · 08/04/2023 06:28

It’s a different sort of music but I absolutely love opera and have done since I was young. I don’t have any opera loving friends, but DH will go with me and try and make the best of it. It’s not his thing, but he loves me and wants me to be happy.

Likewise I have been to steam fairs or track days with him that I have no interest in. Relationships are about compromise, which house to buy, how much you are spending on it, what any kids are called, where you are going on holiday, whose parents you are going to for Christmas etc. When you say he can’t compromise, do you mean that he will also expect to have his way on all the big stuff as well?

Shoxfordian · 08/04/2023 06:58

It’s your birthday! He should be trying to please you not telling you what to wear or refusing to go places. Give yourself the best present of freedom from this knob

Mumofferralkid3 · 08/04/2023 08:03

Wait til you have kids and have to tolerate lots of things you don't enjoy.

Compromise is a show of love. Everyone should do something for someone elses sake at some point to show what they mean to you.

As for saying he would find you unattractive as a goth, that doesn't say a lot about to me about the way he wants you to feel. My partner woukd lust me in a bin bag, a bit of different clothing/make up wouldn't put someone with true feelings for you off.

Lolalaboucheridesagain · 08/04/2023 08:26

Get yourself a nice Goth boyfriend who you can be yourself with. Don’t change who you are for him, no man is worth it.

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