Is my MIL trying to override me?

[Daisiesonthelawn]

I have a reasonable relationship with my parents in law. We’ve had some minor ups and downs but we’ve always been civil and polite to one another. They travel a lot so are not always available, but this week we have asked them to help a little (just one day a week of childcare) as it’s Easter break at nursery and I still need to work.

Yesterday my MIL asked me how much my DD weighed because she was going to get a car seat. I gave her the info, and said it would need to be one that covers Group 1 as she’s less than 13.5kg and three years old. She told me today that she bought one that was Group 2 (for four year olds) and that she thought it would be “fine” as she was “close”. It wasn’t a question- she just stated that she thought it was fine and so she’d keep it.

Then she said that next week on the day she was going to drive my DD to their house and look after her from there instead of staying at our house. It’s a bit of a drive (with said car seat.. which I’m obviously going to have to demand she doesn’t use and provide another) and it’s not ideal because I won’t have a car to pick her up and so will need to rely on my MIL bringing her back etc. it’s the way it’s been posed that is getting to me- it wasn’t a question: it was “I am going to..” as she left. Leaving no room for discussion.

Am I being unreasonable to think that her approaching these things - just stating her intentions rather than approaching as a discussion- is wrong? It’s really irritating me and puts me in a difficult position because I then need to “make a thing” about it rather than it being something we should be able to discuss in the first place!

You are hugely over protective.
It’s over protective to not want a child to travel in an unsafe seat? A seat that is too big and would not protect the child at all in an accident? Overprotective to not want a child to be launched out of a seat in a crash because the harness wouldn’t secure them correctly? That’s bare minimum parenting surely, to minimise the risk of serious and fatal injury? I’m sorry you don’t care enough about your children 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP insist she uses the correct seat otherwise you need to find alternative childcare.

@MinniePocket I know that. I have 4 Joie 360 spins.. I wouldn't have shelled out almost a grand if I didn't think it was worth it for goodness sake. I'm telling you I had no option other than to ff with him and this thread is nothing to do with me or the four year thing. The op issue was the MIL had bought the wrong size.

Instead you just plonked him in a FF seat and thought “job done, that was easy” and got lucky.

Did I? How would you know what I did? Oh that's right, you're just making up a narrative to suit your story.

Give it a rest

Have a toffee

Insane.
My parents used to look after mine and the conversation would generally go like this -

Me - you still ok to have child?
Them - yes, we'll pick them up then take them to/going to do...etc
Me - ok.

Would never have occurred to me to dictate to my parents what they should do with their grandchildren. Especially as they'd brought up four of their own.

I prefer to look after baby grandchild at DDs house every week. It's much easier to have change table, clothes, toys, pram etc to hand. I do a few chores for them while baby naps.

@Hungrycaterpillarsmummy
Oh right my car seat can be used with or without the isofix. Probably best to just move the isofix too then most cars have the anchors