aibu to ask you to critique my poem? I'm trying to get into journalism

[bitcharming]

Why oh why, pray tell, do we call Colonels 'kernels' yet we neglect to call Colonialism 'kernalism'? Oh my word alism I'm disturb alism ed. Does it get on anyone else's nerve alisms?

10/10. I can see you as the Poetry Editor of the Sunday People.

Lol

Is this serious?

It’s a pass from me, sorry OP.

(You’ll see what I did there)

Sorry but I work in Comms and I can’t really make sense of that, journalists need to write clearly and concisely, this isn’t a style of writing that would be useful in that line of work.

Are you doing any journalism training? This feels more like a creative writing prompt.

It sounds like one line from a comedy song or rap.

only a C? I need more from thee!

It’s very good
Not like wood
Its a great poem
Im alone

Tbh I think mines better

😂

You're trying to get into journalism by writing an awkward poem?
Does that mean I can get into baking if I make a stale sandwich? Or into dressmaking if I cut up an old towel into flannels?
Sadly probably not.

It’s a bit shit
it lacks any wit
And makes OP
… Look like a tit

Leave my peice alone!
Or I shall have you thrown
by Sylvester Stalone
Feel free to tweet y bird my poem

I'm better than I would have thought.

@PuppyMonkey

That was a bit...
mean.

that had me inbits

please, take your pick, for I thought of more retorts. bicycle, forks. (for the contemporaries)

It's shite
Good night

Not doing anything for me. Not evoking emotion or imaginings
It sounds like the run up to a manic episode

sausage and mash,
I gave it a bash,
at least I could get
on mumsnet.

It's utter crap
Pish and pap
That's a wrap
Kill me now

pmsl
are you giraffing?

If ghoti is fish then
As rough women in motion
We are the same but different like
colonel Kernel and somehow

  MOIST

Like well fingered but non dairy spread that
Believe it is butter.
Or better

Leave a fish alone

I know a couple of journalists - never seen anything like this.

I don’t what to call your poem
If there’s others like that I don’t know ‘em
But before time for bed
Try a limerick instead
And that way you’ll certainly show ‘em.

I'll take my money price for ground breaking poetry now please.

If you want to hear a great but crazy poem then I highly recommend "fingering to Ed Sheerans shape of you" . It's crazy and mental and awesome and where I took my inspiration from.

More concise, more terse
From my point of view
Is a clerihew!

Not for me, maybe go into teaching then you can read the good stuff with the kids

I’d clap but it’s crap 😂