Settle my inheritance row!

[LetMeExplain]

Long story short, my parents signed their house over to me 10+ years ago, under the caveat that they could live there until the end of their days. This house is my inheritance, as stated in their will.
My mum passed away and my dad can’t afford to stay in the house or manage its upkeep any more. He has a disastrous relationship with money and is basically destitute.
I agreed to sell the house and buy a flat for him, to live in rent free, all he has to pay is his cost. He now demands money from me as I am making a profit from the sale of the house. I don’t want to give him any, it’s my inheritance! AIBU?

I disagree that the house is yours. It was transferred to you to be held in trust for your father until he died,'presumably as a tax dodge. In the UK, he could go to court to seek it being returned to his ownership and as you presumably haven't paid a penny for the property, and have asserted undue control over him (not to mention not going to court with "clean hands" - the inheritance tax dodge) he would have a good case for showing that the title deeds (I.e being in your name) was not reflective of the actual legal position.

There is no inheritance until someone dies and someone can spend their money however they see fit. If he wants to put it all on a horse running in the 3.30pm at Ascot, he is quite entitled to do so unless he lacks capacity. And if he lacks capacity, you do the right thing and go to the Court of Protection. You don't withhold his money from him because you want it for your inheritance

However as you aren't in the UK this is all academic. Your poor father.

Slightly different, but our mother left her half of their house directly to DB and I. DF was not good with money. DB and I paid 50% of all repairs and maintenance while he still lived there, DF paid the rest. If you own it, you should be paying the maintenance.

Morally you are in the wrong.

Legally you are in the wrong. Unless they were paying market rent (which you say they weren't), it will be classed as deprivation of assets and you will be taxed accordingly.

Bollocks.

Tbh without the back story people are going to think badly of you because it sounds harsh, however based on the little bits you have said it sounds like there was a reason this was done not just to escape tax etc. I would sell, purchase something smaller keeping it in your name and if you feel the need to give a small monthly allowance but no lump sums.
It sounds like he will forever come for more money sadly. Good luck whatever you decide. X

It's only an inheritance once someone dies...but you knowingly entered into some contract with both your parents at the time. You agreed to keep a roof over both their heads, so I don't think you can expect your father to stump up costs morally. I think downsizing if he can't afford to pay his utility and food bills is reasonable, but he has to be in agreement. Maybe your mother should have changed the deeds to tenants in common and written a will to ensure you got her share at least (as an inheritance) but you chose a different option...I agree with others, perhaps you need to reverse the agreement or get some legal advice together if it's becoming too costly for you

I see no issues at all with OP's proposals to buy her Dad a place he could afford to live in with the proceeds from the sale of the house.

She owns the house. She isn't throwing her Dad out on the street. I don't think she's a dreadful, evil daughter as so many of the batshit crazy replies on this thread suggest.

If he can’t afford the upkeep or heating bills and is happy to go in a flat, I don’t see the issue.
Why has he changed his mind regarding the inheritance?
Or is he saying sell the house, he gets all proceeds but he will put the new flat in your name, so that he rents from you?

Do bear in mind OP that if you give your dad the money he wants and then you tell him he can't live with you once he's wasted it all and has nowhere to live, you will still get the exact same abuse for being cruel and heartless to your "poor old dad" who sounds like he's been a bit of a shit to his family over the years and still cannot see that your proposal is in his best interests.

No, you're not being unreasonable. I'd make sure the flat was in your name too.
Presumably the house is paid off. Even on a state pension he should be able to manage. You describe him as destitute. That means different things to different people. If it means he has no savings but has a regular (if small) income that's not destitute. If he has to think twice before buying a leg of lamb, that's not destitute. If he smokes a pack of cigarettes a day, that's not destitute.
If the house is in terrible repair and he's had his gas cut off, that's different.
In your situation I'd help with the move and maybe buy a few bits to 'set him up' in a new flat. Consider his needs and wants but you chose the flat and you buy the furniture/carpets/pots and pans.
Ultimately if he has sufficient mental capacity it's his choice how he lives. Give him one or 2 sensible options or leave him there. I doubt he'll change much at his age.

Thinking it over more I actually agree with others that you should be paying for the upkeep that is required to keep him in the house for the rest of his life. That way you don't have any money sitting about for him to feel he has a right to, your mum's wishes are upheld etc.

I think some posters are missing the fact (probably because the OP was confusing) that the parents presumably jointly chose to hand the house to the OP, they weren't forced. She isn't stealing from her dad.

Now, just hang on a second and stop your fingers from running away with themselves ahead of your brain. The OPs parents chose, 10+ years ago, to sign their house over to their daughter.

Newsflash - he doesn't have to be dead and one would assume that they didn't sign it over with a gun up to their heads. Where the actual fuck did you get the hare-brained idea that this is abuse? Sooo the OP in accepting the house that her parents signed over to her of their own free will while presumably of sound mind - is now abusing her father? My god. How foolish can a person be.

You are coming across as a little grabby... Inheritance is received after death not during their lifetime. Your poor dad.....

did you miss the bit about the house already being signed over to OP, presumably because both parents knew her Dad would spend its entire value?

Has he decided he wants the cash now because he is being threatened by someone?

It is not uncommon for people with poor credit records to end up owing money to unsavoury characters.

Agree, I think her Mum was trying to protect her from her Dad's poor financial choices ultimately, but died first without getting proper legal advice into all the ramifications, it was a gamble that has different odds now

You are coming across as being a lot lacking in comprehension.

Again, I can’t quite keep up but the house was originally put in my name because my mum knew that he would just piss it all away. As I said, there is a bit of a back story involving a man who cannot deal with money and several bankruptcies

Give him some money in cash. He is one of the two people on this planet who brought you up FFS. Changed your nappies, fed you and cared for you. If you cannot give him a few extra quid for enjoyment then what is the point in him being alive?

Give him some cash, assess what he spends it on then go from there.

Omg your poor father

<makes mental note to never trust my children by signing over assets to help them avoid IHT>

Be guided by your mother.

Both he and the situation sounds toxic.

Protect yourself and don't be used by a loser user, even if he is your father.

I must have missed the post where the OP said she wasn't going to look out for his wellbeing... maybe because there wasn't one.

The Will is irrelevant because you already own the house. It's yours. It was a gift, and people don't usually want their money back if you sell something they gave you as a gift. IMO you have no obligation to give him any money from the sale, the house is yours as is any money you make from it when you sell. It's a kind thing so do as it'll cost you money in fees to sell the house and buy a flat, the caveat was he would be able to live in THIS house until he dies. He doesn't want to live in this house so technically it's his responsibility to find appropriate housing if he doesn't want to live in this one anymore. Buying a flat for him to live in is more than accommodating, he has no right to anything else.

You are always so wise billy66. Totally agree with you.