"Stepfathers" in the media for all the wrong reasons

[JoanThursday1972]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11937439/Mother-monster-boyfriend-guilty-death-two-year-old-girl.html#reader-comments

This story made my blood boil.

What also makes my blood boil is the reference to him being "stepfather". It's a random the woman met on Facebook, moved him in after a few DAYS and then 16 WEEKS LATER the child is dead.

I absolutely HATE the media calling these creatures stepfathers.

James was told by the local authority not to invite adults into the family home if she did not know them well or if they were alcohol or drug abusers, but she ignored their advice.

All you're doing is pointing out the obvious. We know he killed this child. It would not have happened if she hadn't given him the opportunity. She was this girl's primary carer, it was on her to ensure her daughter's safety. This woman does not deserve support.

Exactly. Feminism doesn't belong here, in this case. It's not about that.

I agree with this. She had one job, which is to protect her child. She chose not to do that.

People using the word 'neglect' about her crime as it were, are minimising the risk she put to her daughter and which ultimately killed her

You might not agree with what Eyeroll is saying, but what you said here is shitty and uncalled for.

A child has been tortured to death and Eyeroll is prancing around trying to grandstand over it. It’s vile and pathetic.

Abuse only flourishes because people collide and protect the abuser. How dare she pretend that this is neglect. It’s collusion, it’s helping with coverup. It’s active and deliberate and evil.

Any women on this thread who are clinging to @Eyerollcentral ’s attempt to let them off the hook should know that they should be in jail along with their “boyfriends”.

Oh my god, I just finished the article and the mum LIED TO THE POLICE after the murder and tried to blame the family dog. She also lied to the police after previous attacks and pretended that it was the dog after he hit her before.

How is that neglect?

@Eyerollcentral shame on you. Your values are disgusting.

@Iam4eels Step parent/partners are more likely to be violent towards children than the natal father. It is called the 'Cinderella effect', there is penty of research on it out there.

Women need to be very careful when introducing a new man to her bio children. Their risk of abuse goes up hugely from having a non related male in the house.

One of the reasons why Haringey SS did not intervene more assertively in the Baby P case was because they had a policy about not being 'classist' or 'judgemental' about a mother's life choices (in this case, a squalid and chatoic home with a revolving door of partners and boyfriends). This is all available to read about in the court cases and subsequent various reviews. Political correctness kills children.

Before anyone comes at me, I grew up with a single mum in a working class area and immigrant household. Abuse in my family from bio parent and from 'step' parent. Things deteriorated markedly after the 'setp' parent entered my life and I had to go live elsewhere at 15.

'Blended' families are sold to us on TV as lovely but in reality they can be dangerous.

'Blended' families are sold to us on TV as lovely but in reality they can be dangerous.

Even on here, people react really oddly to couples who have been together years but live separately. Nah just because you are forcing all your kids to live with people who aren't related to them, doesn't mean everybody wants to.

I don't understand it at all.

My Mum introduced my now Stepdad a year after they met, he moved in 18 months after they met and he's always treated me as his own. We have a great relationship.

These women moving men in after a matter of weeks or months is crazy to me, you don't know somebody after that time.

That poor little girl, breaks my heart.

The lower socio-economic classes are less likely to get married and there is a higher prevalence of single mothers.

Richer better educated people leave childbirth much later and are more likely to get married and stay married.

@Hubblebubble I felt just the same as you. I was absolutely dragged up and have some relatives that really are scum, been to prison even. I have completely cut off that branch of my family.

@potniatheron Interesting point about political correctness. I’m mixed race and I think some services crap themselves when dealing with non whites as petrified of being accused of racism. We did have SS intervention but it was before I was born and my sister grew up in care from age 7. My Mother then moved around a lot and changed her name a few times. She was a very deceitful and well spoken woman whose family disowned her for a number of years according to her but I think she evaded them as they may have reported her.

I grew up in an incredibly violent environment with a stepfather who was extremely abusive, stepfathers or a non biological male partner or BF are 100 times more likely to kill children than bio Fathers. There has been loads of research. People can easily search for stats online from reputable resources such as ONS/NSPCC.

I am sorry you had to experience that growing up. My step parent was an abusive alcoholic. My mother knew what he was like but brought him in anyway. It scars you for life.

I’m mixed race and I think some services crap themselves when dealing with non whites as petrified of being accused of racism.

There is a particular problem with the Traveller Community which has high rates of DV and child sexual exploitation but social services are often loathe to intervene because of concerns about racism/not respecting Traveller Culture. As a result many children are pulled out of school very young and unable to get qualifications.

It's time mum and dad stayed together and raised their children together.

That can be problem in itself though! Sticking together “for the kids” isn’t always a good thing.

My ex was lazy, couldn’t hold down a job and drank too much. I spent 5 years dealing with that until I said enough is enough.

I’ve been single for 3 years now. I’ve got my head screwed on, I know what dangers there are. It doesn’t take staying with my children’s father to keep them safe. If I met someone, they don’t have to have anything to do with my children. It’s quite possible to be a mum and to date someone without those two aspects of my life linking together.

@TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl the case was widely reported in Wales, there were court reports every day. Sadly I think that these cases are not uncommon and I've seen a guilty verdict in the national press but nothing about the trial until then. I think the stats are that on average one child a week in the UK is killed by their parents or parents' partner.

James and Bevan are absolute scum.

She was found guilty of causing or allowing Lola’s death, which is much more serious a crime than neglect.

Just reading the timeline of the day Lola was murdered and wondering why a toddler is up between 12.30am to 4.30am and beyond. It does read as if he kept her up simply to be his punching bag whilst others were sleeping.