Page 4 | "Stepfathers" in the media for all the wrong reasons

JoanThursday1972 · 2023-04-04T13:37:11+00:00

[[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11937439/Mother-monster-boyfriend-guilty-death-two-year-old-girl.html#reader-comments https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11937439/Mother-monster-boyfriend-guilty-death-two-year-old-girl.html#reader-comments]] This story made my blood boil. What also makes my blood boil is the reference to him being "stepfather". It's a random the woman met on Facebook, moved him in after a few DAYS and then 16 WEEKS LATER the child is dead. I absolutely HATE the media calling these creatures stepfathers.

Hubblebubble · 04/04/2023 19:07

Re victimisation. Silly autocorrect!

OlympicProcrastinator · 04/04/2023 19:07

JoanThursday1972 · 04/04/2023 17:30

Absolutely. That is my point. The word Step(parent) is bandied about too freely nowadays, the media being the main culprit. It's an insult to the victims to allow these people to be called step-parents.

There was that Craig Meehan, who moved in with Karen Matthews and was called Shannon's stepfather. That creature Emma Tustin who lived with Arthur Labinjo-Hughes' father was called his stepmother. And these are a few examples only. Media, just STOP IT.

Stepmother/father is a title that has to be earned. You don't get it by chatting someone up on Facebook and moving in before you've changed your underpants.

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Yes I agree. Unless they are married it is just some bloke, usually one of many, that the feckless mum has brought around her child.

TooBigForMyBoots · 04/04/2023 19:09

Turnipworkharder · 04/04/2023 17:54

I won't read the the whole story, the headline is enough.

Did the mother get charged with anything?

Yes. She was found Guilty of Causing or Allowing the Death of a Child.

Original poster

JoanThursday1972 · 04/04/2023 19:11

Eyerollcentral · 04/04/2023 17:52

Here comes the classism… Did you have a step father/do your children have a step father?

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How is my life relevant to what happened here?

OP posts:

Hubblebubble · 04/04/2023 19:13

Brilliant that the mother has been charged too. Hopefully it will act as a deterrent and make neglectful mothers think twice about allowing their partners to abuse their children.

AllOfThemWitches · 04/04/2023 19:13

Is it classicism? I'm working class as they come and they are exactly what I pictured when I read the headline. Fucking scum.

BramleyAppleHotCrossBun · 04/04/2023 19:18

How can people make excuses for this woman? She is guilty of causing and/or allowing her daughter’s death. In other words, her choices led to her daughter being murdered by that scum. They quite literally are both as bad as each other.

OhMyCherriePie · 04/04/2023 19:21

Will she get off though ? There was a toddler recently that was killed and the mum tried to blame the child's father when it was her new partner and she got let off

LadyMary50 · 04/04/2023 19:24

Eyerollcentral · 04/04/2023 16:12

No, she doesn’t. The mother was neglectful. That doesn’t mean it’s her fault the child was killed. Stop blaming women for male violence. The OP wants to separate the man here out from step fathers because she doesn’t want all step fathers tarred with the same brush. But step fathers are a problem and we see that time and time again. Women across the board need to be extremely careful who they allow in to their children’s lives. Would a mentally healthy woman move a man in after one date when she has a child? No. The problem here is male violence and that includes preying on female vulnerability. The mother’s stupidity and/or neglect and/or vulnerability didn’t cause this man to beat a child to death. He caused that.

The mother absolutely does share some of the blame.She moved this monster into her home without a thought to the safety of her child and I don’t for one minute believe she didn’t know what he was doing to her child.That poor child must have been crying in pain for a long time.The only vulnerable person here was the child not the awful mother…

megletthesecond · 04/04/2023 19:28

Parents shouldn't be staying together miserably for the sake of their children.

Mums can do it alone with enough money and support. I've been single for 14yrs and have barely had an evening out let alone dated.

TooBigForMyBoots · 04/04/2023 19:28

OhMyCherriePie · 04/04/2023 19:21

Will she get off though ? There was a toddler recently that was killed and the mum tried to blame the child's father when it was her new partner and she got let off

She has been found Guilty.

LadyMary50 · 04/04/2023 19:29

Eyerollcentral · 04/04/2023 17:32

No, a woman’s neglect is not a green light to a man to beat a child to death. It’s nothing to do with feminism, it’s to do with logic. The man made the decision to be violent. She could have been neglectful and he could have remained non violent. He choose violence

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But she let him continue to abuse her child over a period of time.A mothers first duty is to protect her child.No excuses…

TooBigForMyBoots · 04/04/2023 19:31

YANBU OP. I know many people who have had great stepfathers. And stepmothers.

It is not a title that comes easily. It is earned over many many years.

MarieRoseMarie · 04/04/2023 19:32

Lol at @Eyerollcentral trying to absolve the mother of murder. So if I tie my child to train tracks and the train kills her, I’m only guilty of “neglect”. She put her in the way of a murderer. She should go down too - only to keep her from having more kids for as long as they can.

She probably pops up on mumsnet complaining about social services picking on her for having a “dirty house”.

Also rates of abuse from stepfathers/mother’s boyfriends are 20x higher than that of biological fathers. Most of the time, unless these women intend to be single, it’s probably a wash whether to stay put with the abusive biodad. At least the rates of sexual abuse of bio children are much lower.

IamKlaus · 04/04/2023 19:36

Eyerollcentral · 04/04/2023 17:52

Here comes the classism… Did you have a step father/do your children have a step father?

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Cos you think only poor people have stepfathers?

He wasn't one,so how is it relevant?

LadyMary50 · 04/04/2023 19:37

Eyerollcentral · 04/04/2023 18:07

Yeah she is neglectful. She didn’t murder the child though he did

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But she didn’t stop the murder of her child.You can’t defend the indefensible.Their is no way she didn’t know what he was doing as her child would have been in great pain for a long period judging by the injuries they discovered.

Eyerollcentral · 04/04/2023 19:41

MarieRoseMarie · 04/04/2023 19:32

Lol at @Eyerollcentral trying to absolve the mother of murder. So if I tie my child to train tracks and the train kills her, I’m only guilty of “neglect”. She put her in the way of a murderer. She should go down too - only to keep her from having more kids for as long as they can.

She probably pops up on mumsnet complaining about social services picking on her for having a “dirty house”.

Also rates of abuse from stepfathers/mother’s boyfriends are 20x higher than that of biological fathers. Most of the time, unless these women intend to be single, it’s probably a wash whether to stay put with the abusive biodad. At least the rates of sexual abuse of bio children are much lower.

She isn’t the murderer though. She isn’t the person who murdered the child. The man did. She is a terrible, neglectful mother. She isn’t a murderer. A man decided to murder the child.
‘She probably pops up on mumsnet complaining about social services picking on her for having a “dirty house”.’ Who is the she you are referring to here? It better not be me.

bakebeans · 04/04/2023 19:42

Evil twat! Notice that the daily Mail have said it's social services fault not the mother who has failed to protect her child despite warnings and repeated education.

Eyerollcentral · 04/04/2023 19:43

LadyMary50 · 04/04/2023 19:37

But she didn’t stop the murder of her child.You can’t defend the indefensible.Their is no way she didn’t know what he was doing as her child would have been in great pain for a long period judging by the injuries they discovered.

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I haven’t defended the mother at all. The man was the murderer though. He is the one who killed the child. He was the one beating the child.

Badbudgeter · 04/04/2023 19:46

Hubblebubble · 04/04/2023 17:16

I have no plans to date until my child is an adult. I was an abused step child. I have a duty of care to my own child and my life is full in other ways. Romance will still be there when my child's grown up, but I've only got one shot at giving him a safe and happy childhood.

Me too. My youngest is 8 but I wouldn’t bring a bloke into their lives.

LadyMary50 · 04/04/2023 19:47

Eyerollcentral · 04/04/2023 19:43

I haven’t defended the mother at all. The man was the murderer though. He is the one who killed the child. He was the one beating the child.

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Yes beating the child with her standing by watching.Indefensible…

IAmTheWalrus85 · 04/04/2023 19:52

Her biological father didn’t protect her either.

Turnipworkharder · 04/04/2023 19:54

thanks for the reply @TooBigForMyBoots

AnonymousA1 · 04/04/2023 20:04

Eyerollcentral · 04/04/2023 16:12

No, she doesn’t. The mother was neglectful. That doesn’t mean it’s her fault the child was killed. Stop blaming women for male violence. The OP wants to separate the man here out from step fathers because she doesn’t want all step fathers tarred with the same brush. But step fathers are a problem and we see that time and time again. Women across the board need to be extremely careful who they allow in to their children’s lives. Would a mentally healthy woman move a man in after one date when she has a child? No. The problem here is male violence and that includes preying on female vulnerability. The mother’s stupidity and/or neglect and/or vulnerability didn’t cause this man to beat a child to death. He caused that.

The mother was thinking of getting cock rather than the safety of her children.

absolute state of it and yes I will be judgemental because her actions led to her baby being murdered.

had she not been such a desperate rotten mess , her children wouldn’t of been left with a man that murdered them.

He dealt the fatal blows but she played a big hand in that beautiful little girl being dead.

IamKlaus · 04/04/2023 20:07

Eyerollcentral · 04/04/2023 19:43

I haven’t defended the mother at all. The man was the murderer though. He is the one who killed the child. He was the one beating the child.

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You have said its not her fault and she can't be blamed. Well it is, and she can.

He is the one that killed the child. She is the one that brought him into the house and stood by and let him kill the child. He beat the child, she gave him a child to beat.