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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to friend ?

79 replies

imanewuser · 04/04/2023 12:37

Bank Holiday weekend. Friend has booked bottomless brunch for a small baby shower on Friday. We are also going out Saturday night for part 2 of the shower. She now wants to carry on Friday afternoon into the eve with her

I have 3 DC aged 10- 13.i have said no can't do Friday night. It would mean me out all day Friday and Friday night Saturday night. That's not fair on the DC.

AIBU ?

OP posts:
Antiquiteas · 05/04/2023 10:25

80sMum · 05/04/2023 10:23

That made me feel quite sad, to think that you don't feel able to join in and have fun and enjoyment with friends unless consuming alcohol and that you find it depressing to be in the company of people consuming alcohol when you are not also consuming it.

I would gently suggest that you try from time to time to have a "dry" evening out and see how it goes. Ask yourself why it's so important for you to have alcohol and whether you would never be able to enjoy an evening out or a party again if for some reason you had to stop drinking it permanently.

Just make sure that you're the one in control and confirm to yourself that you can switch it on and off whenever you want to. Don't let the alcohol be the one in control of whether or not you can have an enjoyable night out.

Show quote history

Are you for real? 😆

bringincrazyback · 05/04/2023 10:29

OP, personally I think it does kids (especially older ones) no harm at all to see that their parents have lives too, and that they sometimes want to do things away from their DC. It does sound like your friend's being a bit OTT with these celebrations, but I don't think you need to feel bad about attending whatever parts of it you want to attend. Free time doesn't always have to equal family time - adults need adult friendships too.

BeckyBeehive · 05/04/2023 10:31

Well you're not being unreasonable to go and you're not being unreasonable not to go, it's just your personal choice. Personally a 2 day boozy baby shower sounds like hell to me, and I quite liked spending bank holidays with my husband and children when they were young. I've only been invited to 2 baby showers and made excuses for both (I'm a bit old for the demographic - they weren't a thing when I and my peer group had our DC). I just instinctively don't like them, we hardly bought anything for our DC before they were born, it was too much like tempting fate.

Time4achangeagain · 05/04/2023 10:41

OP, if it feels wrong, don’t do it. Why are you worrying? Genuinely. Fine for you to go, fine to not go. FWIW (which isn’t a lot) I’d probably feel similar to you in that I’d skip the Friday night bit as would rather be with family. Why are you agonising over it though. Genuine question

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