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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Offered council property in terrible area

307 replies

ShouldITakeIt · 03/04/2023 20:27

Single parent of DS who is 2. Currently living with my mum but have been on the council waiting list since he was born. Was offered a flat before but turned it down due to it being in a rough road and have been offered another one this week which is in an even worse area! The flat itself is actually really nice but the estate it is on used to have a really bad reputation and is a deprived area. It was fairly quiet when I visited but pretty run down looking and I saw a few undesirable looking people walking about :( the problem I have is that if I decline this flat, then I'm booted off the list. Private renting isn't an option for me and I'm currently living in my mum's lounge. Would you take the flat? Does anyone have any experience of living in an undesirable area? Help!!! :(

OP posts:
Justcashnosweets · 04/04/2023 09:30

When I lived in a city, I lived in both a 'desirable' and 'undesirable' part of the city. When i lived briefly in the desirable area, I was verbally abused in the street, had someone attempt to break in and felt completely unsafe all the time. So I moved back to the rundown part where I had stayed previously, bought a flat, and loved it. Yes, there was crime and antisocial behavior,but not as much as I thought there would be. On the whole, people were more friendly, my neighbours were lovely, and I lived there happily for over 10 years.
Give the flat a chance OP, it may not be as bad as you think, and you can't really stay in your Mums lounge indefinitely.

Twinklewonderkins · 04/04/2023 09:33

@BMW6 yes totally, I live in a posh ish dales village, next door was a private rental both were heavy drinkers, smashed the place up, fighting with each other, police called every other week. I reported to SS police and the kids school hearing her threatening to kill her daughter (year 7:8). When they moved out we had a party.
rent on it was 1700 a month…
in contrast I lived on a notorious Manchester council estate in the 90s and my neighbours were lovely and I’m still friends with some today.
OP take it, having your own place will be an amazing new start for you, as others say you will move on, nothing is forever.
good luck!!

FannyPhart · 04/04/2023 09:36

Trouble is everyone wants to get on the council housing list and then pick and choose where they live. It doesn't work that way unfortunately. I'm on the list for a transfer and I have to take what is offered. If you want more say on locations perhaps look for private rentals so that people who would be grateful for anything can have the place that isn't desirable enough for you.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 04/04/2023 09:39

yeah just take it! I bought a flat last year in a not so nice area as it was all we could afford - it's got a huge mix of people in the area - there are gang problems - people stabbed daily but it's all gang related so it doesn't really creep into the lives of most people in the area. It is what it is

Chocolatesandroses · 04/04/2023 09:42

As others have said you need to take it or you won’t get anything else . Council properties can be hit and miss regarding the area , you just have to make the most of it . When I was offered my first property 13 years ago , I had no idea where it was at first and everyone told me even if it’s a rough area just take it , we can make the house safe . It was a good area luckily . I have done a mutual exchange in to an area that isn’t fantastic but I needed a bigger property for my children and I wasn’t going to get rehoused anytime soon so I had to make sacrifices

LadyKenya · 04/04/2023 09:43

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 04/04/2023 08:55

I love how you applied for council housing as soon as your child was born and in that time haven't tried to sort yourself out with an income. What are you waiting for? They aren't going to offer you a mansion. You've made enough poor choices, make this good one for your DS.

And you have made a poor choice by posting something like this. So judgmental, and in no way helpful whatsoever.

Schnooze · 04/04/2023 09:47

It’s either that or continuing in your mums lounge which isn’t fair to her, even if you are ok with it.

You don’t really have a choice.

TallulahBetty · 04/04/2023 09:54

Take it and look into swapping as soon as you can.

Parky04 · 04/04/2023 09:56

If I was her mum, I would force the issue. Take the flat or I will make you homeless.

NoTouch · 04/04/2023 10:01

The council doesn't test and sort people into desirable and undesirable slots. In your circumstances it is obvious you would be offered a flat and would be living alongside people in similar social and financial circumstances. That means there is going to be a right mixture of people there and some may be from more challenging backgrounds and you will sometimes see the behaviour that goes with that and gives an area a reputation. But most will be absolutely fine and depending on the people around you there can be a real community feel.

Mums lounge or limited choices on where you are housed, that is where your life choices have taken you.

You will need a home for your ds as you can't live out of your mums lounge forever. Take it and start looking at your future choices, work on how you can improve your earning potential so you do have more choices in the future (and make sure your contraception is rock solid until you are in a better position).

3WildOnes · 04/04/2023 10:08

berksandbeyond · 03/04/2023 23:12

Do they have council properties in nice areas? I’ve never seen one

There are council flats and houses in all of the nicest areas of London. Notting Hill, Clapham, Chelsea, Covent Garden, Chiswick, Richmond, etc....

LAMPS1 · 04/04/2023 10:12

Take the council flat. Concentrate on the positives:-

Its a nice flat inside your front door and you can make it lovely.
The move gives you much needed independence.
The area surrounding the estate is nice.
There will be some really nice people also living there.
The nice people already there will appreciate another nice family (you and your dc) moving in.
You have your mum to run to back to if things become unsafe at any point.
You will be in a perfect position to swap in future instead of being kicked off the council list.

Grab it and make the best of the prospects it offers. See how you get on. You could be very pleasantly surprised. Good luck !

Florissante · 04/04/2023 10:12

You have two choices, OP: take it or rent privately.

midnightblue12 · 04/04/2023 10:14

There's a lot of unnecessary aggression on this post isn't there!

I get your concern OP.
I was living at my parents following my husband walking out on me during pregnancy. I work but have low income. I'd never get accepted on private rental due to demand in the area and being less desirable having a UC top up (yep, that's a thing!!).
I was offered a flat but it was in shocking state of repair and was outside of my normal area.
I posted on here for advice and got a lot of response from those ivory towers telling me how Ungreatful I was, how I should up my hours or shut up, how my mum should Chuck me out. Oh I'm sure you can imagine.

Anyway I took the flat and I've managed to make it a home.

People need to consider how vulnerable those are who are in this position. Nobody wants to have to be in council housing, low income, verge of poverty. It's quite a shock looking for council properties and the actual state they can be left in.

I can't really say what I'd do in your situation because there are some areas near me I just could never live in. But what I would say is that it won't be forever and you can make to a home. Having that space and independence will really help you too!

Hope you're ok and ignore the ignorance ok some of the replies here!

TheGrimSqueakersFlea · 04/04/2023 10:14

@BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers you do know that people in council houses have jobs? You sound like a snob

NoGoodUsernamee · 04/04/2023 10:17

You’d be mad to turn it down if it’s your last chance, I’m surprised they even let you turn down one my council doesn’t!

You can make it lovely inside and if you don’t mix with the undesirables I doubt you’ll have any trouble.

Original poster
ShouldITakeIt · 04/04/2023 10:18

My goodness, some of these comments 😳 sorry if my use of the word undesirables has caused offence, I actually thought it was more polite than crackheads. I genuinely wonder if certain posters would say these things to someone's face? I know nobody in real life that would be so bloody rude 😂 for what it's worth, I work part time and am also doing an open university course. I'm trying my best. I'm also a bit baffled how me posting about my housing situation has led someone to comment on me using contraception? Utterly bizarre 😂 and chance would be a fine thing, for starters 🤣 thanks to all those who offered helpful advice. I really like the idea of moving in gradually from mum's place to get used to it. It's a massive step for me as DS's dad sadly passed away when I was 7m pregnant. It's been a really tough time and mum's place has def been my comfort zone x

OP posts:
callmeblondee · 04/04/2023 10:21

I would snap that flat up and know that things arent forever. You may be able to move again at some point, also deprived areas often get gentrified these days. I moved into a terrible area in my 20s but now it is proper sought after area - I dont live there anymore but still! Take what you can for now then plan your next move!

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 04/04/2023 10:23

It will be a lot rougher living under the underpass.

Friendofdennis · 04/04/2023 10:24

I would take it for now Living on a council estate doesn’t define you your circumstances for you and your child can become what you make them what I mean by that is that you are not limited by your immediate surroundings if you work on getting access to good opportunities for your child. If you don’t already drive learn to do so and get a car so that you can access a wider range of places to go and things to do. Enrol on child friendly activities in a library or toddler groups in church halls etc. Sorry if that sounds patronising but the flat on the council estate is just a base. Also you will find that a lot of people are just nice and normal You could be pleasantly surprised

Pubesofsoberness · 04/04/2023 10:25

ShouldITakeIt · 04/04/2023 10:18

My goodness, some of these comments 😳 sorry if my use of the word undesirables has caused offence, I actually thought it was more polite than crackheads. I genuinely wonder if certain posters would say these things to someone's face? I know nobody in real life that would be so bloody rude 😂 for what it's worth, I work part time and am also doing an open university course. I'm trying my best. I'm also a bit baffled how me posting about my housing situation has led someone to comment on me using contraception? Utterly bizarre 😂 and chance would be a fine thing, for starters 🤣 thanks to all those who offered helpful advice. I really like the idea of moving in gradually from mum's place to get used to it. It's a massive step for me as DS's dad sadly passed away when I was 7m pregnant. It's been a really tough time and mum's place has def been my comfort zone x

It's understandable to be a bit worried, I doubt you are the only one who would be a bit concerned moving to a dodgy area just you and dc

Loads of us have done it though and it's worked out fine. I think moving in gradually and spending some time getting it ready is a good idea

Rhondaa · 04/04/2023 10:32

'sorry if my use of the word undesirables has caused offence, I actually thought it was more polite than crackheads.'

You've no idea who is a 'crackhead' by looking. As you wouldn't want to be judged for being a single parent in a council flat, stop judging others.

VegetablesFightingToReclaimTheAubergieneEmoji · 04/04/2023 10:32

If the reports are a few years old, hopefully it’s mostly been dealt with now.
take the flat - you’ve nothing to lose if your going to be booted off the list anyway.
do it up slowly and make it yours.

for what it’s worth, my kids go to school in one of the most desirable places in the south east, it’s where I imagine 80% of posters on mumsnet comes from. Down the alleyways there’s still dealing and weed smoking.

deep breath, get excited And plan a trip to ikea.

loislovesstewie · 04/04/2023 10:35

BTW I do understand that it's a worry for you, but really turning down the property might mean that you won't be considered for a very long time. Best to accept and look forward to the future.

userfred · 04/04/2023 10:37

ShouldITakeIt · 04/04/2023 10:18

My goodness, some of these comments 😳 sorry if my use of the word undesirables has caused offence, I actually thought it was more polite than crackheads. I genuinely wonder if certain posters would say these things to someone's face? I know nobody in real life that would be so bloody rude 😂 for what it's worth, I work part time and am also doing an open university course. I'm trying my best. I'm also a bit baffled how me posting about my housing situation has led someone to comment on me using contraception? Utterly bizarre 😂 and chance would be a fine thing, for starters 🤣 thanks to all those who offered helpful advice. I really like the idea of moving in gradually from mum's place to get used to it. It's a massive step for me as DS's dad sadly passed away when I was 7m pregnant. It's been a really tough time and mum's place has def been my comfort zone x

Unless you've been in that situation then it's very difficult to understand. You didn't have to put anything else explaining anything but that's Mumsnet for you.

Very sorry for everything you've been through x

Op I am doing the same, I was offered a house in a dodgy street. I've taken it because although it's dodgy, my kids go to school in the nice part of the area and it's where I need to be. The house itself is horrific so i spent the first few months still living at my mums while i did it up - actually more like 6 months! I pay the rent so it's fine. The first 3 weeks I did absolutely nothing, i had the keys but I felt so overwhelmed at the area and the work that needed doing. Gradually I talked myself round and realised I had to make a start. In the first 6 months where I didn't really live there, I got to know the street, I got to know my neighbours. I started to get excited about living in my home and putting my own stamp on it. I started to feel more relaxed and realised I had made the right choice.

Wishing you luck op - I really think you need to give it a chance. There's always other options if it doesn't work