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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Offered council property in terrible area

307 replies

ShouldITakeIt · 03/04/2023 20:27

Single parent of DS who is 2. Currently living with my mum but have been on the council waiting list since he was born. Was offered a flat before but turned it down due to it being in a rough road and have been offered another one this week which is in an even worse area! The flat itself is actually really nice but the estate it is on used to have a really bad reputation and is a deprived area. It was fairly quiet when I visited but pretty run down looking and I saw a few undesirable looking people walking about :( the problem I have is that if I decline this flat, then I'm booted off the list. Private renting isn't an option for me and I'm currently living in my mum's lounge. Would you take the flat? Does anyone have any experience of living in an undesirable area? Help!!! :(

OP posts:
ConstanceOcean · 04/04/2023 10:39

Yes definitely take it!

It may surprise you.

If you absolutely hate it then you can always try and exchange, go private or move back to your mums.

There are places that do house drug addicts or ex prisoners and most MNers do not understand the implications of living on such an estate. So ignore any rude comments.

Definitely still take it though!

Zola1 · 04/04/2023 10:46

If you're on the council list, you're gonna get a property on a council estate. If you can't afford to live anywhere else, you take it and make the best of it.
I've lived in council flats in rough areas and been fine. It was character building 😂. You literally just keep to yourself, mind your own business, and when you shut your front door you could be anywhere.

Autumnalblooms · 04/04/2023 10:51

Honestly OP I would take it .After working in care for many years I have learnt you can't judge everyone just by the area they live in .In one of my jobs I worked in our nearest town .Couple of the estates had a reputation as you couldn't leave your car , no wheels on it when you come back etc .I found the majority of people who lived there cared about the area and there was a good community spirit.If I ever got lost someone was always willing to help one even took the time to draw directions for me.

luckylavender · 04/04/2023 10:53

ShouldITakeIt · 03/04/2023 20:27

Single parent of DS who is 2. Currently living with my mum but have been on the council waiting list since he was born. Was offered a flat before but turned it down due to it being in a rough road and have been offered another one this week which is in an even worse area! The flat itself is actually really nice but the estate it is on used to have a really bad reputation and is a deprived area. It was fairly quiet when I visited but pretty run down looking and I saw a few undesirable looking people walking about :( the problem I have is that if I decline this flat, then I'm booted off the list. Private renting isn't an option for me and I'm currently living in my mum's lounge. Would you take the flat? Does anyone have any experience of living in an undesirable area? Help!!! :(

I'm sorry to hear this. But being offered a council property is beyond the reach of most people who need one.

Seasonofthewitch83 · 04/04/2023 11:07

Take it!

As someone who lives in London, its just part of city life. I realised this week my toddler was standing in someones piss in the train station lift (so grim). I cant afford to go live out in a leafy suburb at the moment. Its honestly fine, I would go for a walk around the estate and you will see its just people living their lives. Youl be able to have your own space, decorate it how you like etc.

And its not forever.

You are working really hard and one day you can look at saving for a deposit/shared ownership etc.

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 04/04/2023 11:10

Take it, what's the worse that can happen ? If it goes tits up you can move back to your mums, but if you don't even try your poor son will have to.continue living with little space.

Fwiw one of the.worst estates in my area, so bad my friend would use my address on job applications because using her own would have her rejected for interviewers is now.one.of the best estates thanks to a determined residents association and parents wanting more for their kids......it's still looks.scruffy because the money.and time just isn't there to.deal with that aspect. But drug and crime wise it's no worse than any other area in my town. If the news reports you're finding are a few years old I'd push any prejudices and fears to one side, get to know the area a little at different times of the day and at least give it a chance.

Untitledsquatboulder · 04/04/2023 11:19

ShouldITakeIt · 04/04/2023 10:18

My goodness, some of these comments 😳 sorry if my use of the word undesirables has caused offence, I actually thought it was more polite than crackheads. I genuinely wonder if certain posters would say these things to someone's face? I know nobody in real life that would be so bloody rude 😂 for what it's worth, I work part time and am also doing an open university course. I'm trying my best. I'm also a bit baffled how me posting about my housing situation has led someone to comment on me using contraception? Utterly bizarre 😂 and chance would be a fine thing, for starters 🤣 thanks to all those who offered helpful advice. I really like the idea of moving in gradually from mum's place to get used to it. It's a massive step for me as DS's dad sadly passed away when I was 7m pregnant. It's been a really tough time and mum's place has def been my comfort zone x

However you got where you are this is where you are. And nothing you are telling us makes it sounds like you have any other options. But if you have, then by all means turn it down, I'm sure there are people out there that would welcome it.

slowquickstep · 04/04/2023 11:30

Take the flat. My DD bought her house and paid 500k for it, new neighbours have just moved and there are as rough as hell, no matter where you live there will always be rough folk.

begoneday · 04/04/2023 11:35

Unless you are willing, or able to pay for a flat in an area you like, surely you have to take the flat or be taken off the list ? Most of us cannot choose to live in the area we would like to.

amusedbush · 04/04/2023 11:39

I think you should take the flat. I live in a "rough" area; I have been here for 10 years and I've had no issues, personally. For anyone not familiar with the Scottish Index of Multiple Deprivation, postcodes here are ranked from 1 (most deprived) to 10 (least deprived). My street is a 3 but is surrounded as far as the eye can see by 1s and 2s, and I'm just a few minutes walk away from an area that is in the top 5% of deprivation in the country.

It's good that you acknowledge the estate's reputation might be outdated. By all accounts, where I live now was an absolute hell hole in years gone by. I mean gang violence, organised crime, drugs, stabbings - horrendous. I've encountered people from elsewhere who still think it's a shithole but it's really not. The people are (on the whole) nice, there's lovely green spaces, and it just needs a bit of money and attention put into it.

You say that the area surrounding the estate is nice, so that's something. How is the infrastructure to get out and about - local train station, regular buses? That makes a big difference.

FriedEggChocolate · 04/04/2023 11:43

@ShouldITakeIt one practical question - does your DS still need a buggy? If yes, where can you store it in your flat and is there a lift that's reliable? If you're a corner top floor flat you might be able to leave your buggy outside the door as it's not going to block anyone's way. If you have a balcony, you'll be able to dry washing quicker being higher up.

gogohmm · 04/04/2023 12:18

Take it, it sounds like there isn't really space at your mum's. Even lovely middle class suburbs or beautiful villages have neighbours from hell alas - I had weed smoking with a vicious dog next to me for 8 months before the council acted on my complaints. You are always swop, bid for a different area etc later

Titanosaurus · 04/04/2023 12:30

Take it !

Some councils have a waiting list of 30,000+ people

Whenharrymetsmelly · 04/04/2023 12:41

begoneday · 04/04/2023 11:35

Unless you are willing, or able to pay for a flat in an area you like, surely you have to take the flat or be taken off the list ? Most of us cannot choose to live in the area we would like to.

This is very true. Wouldn't it be great if we all did have this option. Most of us live where we can afford and thats not always the nicest area. You seem very ungrateful OP

Florissante · 04/04/2023 13:31

Whenharrymetsmelly · 04/04/2023 12:41

This is very true. Wouldn't it be great if we all did have this option. Most of us live where we can afford and thats not always the nicest area. You seem very ungrateful OP

Show quote history

Thank you. You put into words what I was trying to express. It seems a bit ungrateful to be offered a council flat and then to look down one's nose at the other inhabitants.

Xenia · 04/04/2023 13:36

I am very sorry the baby's father died. It sounds a very difficult situation. If there is an end in sight with the open university course and possibly a route in a year or two to full time work then it might be easier to stay in mother's lounge. I think I am the only person on here suggesting that! However your mother may not want you living at home (I have two adult children living at home and know how that can be - good and bad bits)

If there is no timescale/plan that you will get the qualification and better job and be able privately to rent and then buy then perhaps don't move , unless if you do move you can buy the council flat and sell it at a profit I suppose!

Florissante · 04/04/2023 14:23

Xenia · 04/04/2023 13:36

I am very sorry the baby's father died. It sounds a very difficult situation. If there is an end in sight with the open university course and possibly a route in a year or two to full time work then it might be easier to stay in mother's lounge. I think I am the only person on here suggesting that! However your mother may not want you living at home (I have two adult children living at home and know how that can be - good and bad bits)

If there is no timescale/plan that you will get the qualification and better job and be able privately to rent and then buy then perhaps don't move , unless if you do move you can buy the council flat and sell it at a profit I suppose!

Those are some very silly suggestions. An OU course takes six years. And working a year or two after that? There are plenty of people who work and still want council flats.

Maybe the OP's mother doesn't want to wait almost a decade to have her lounge back?

And selling a council flat to make a profit. That's a pretty stupid - if not immoral - idea.

SquidwardBound · 04/04/2023 15:30

FriedEggChocolate · 04/04/2023 11:43

@ShouldITakeIt one practical question - does your DS still need a buggy? If yes, where can you store it in your flat and is there a lift that's reliable? If you're a corner top floor flat you might be able to leave your buggy outside the door as it's not going to block anyone's way. If you have a balcony, you'll be able to dry washing quicker being higher up.

Or, with a 2 year old, she could buy a buggy that folds up small. This isn’t a reason to reject a social housing property leaving you with no other way to house yourself than staying in your mum’s lounge with your toddler. Is it?

SquidwardBound · 04/04/2023 15:46

Florissante · 04/04/2023 14:23

Those are some very silly suggestions. An OU course takes six years. And working a year or two after that? There are plenty of people who work and still want council flats.

Maybe the OP's mother doesn't want to wait almost a decade to have her lounge back?

And selling a council flat to make a profit. That's a pretty stupid - if not immoral - idea.

Show quote history

I think Xenia is confusing having adult kids at home in her massive house with being overcrowded in a small house and having that adult child using the living room as a bedroom. 6 years of the latter (plus however long it takes to get a job and earn enough to pay private rent) is not comparable to the former.

HamBone · 04/04/2023 16:45

How long can your Mum have you stay in her lounge, OP?

Irritateandunreasonable · 04/04/2023 16:48

What do you expect? It’s a council flat. Private renting and claiming LHA IS an option for you and you’ll get a say in where you live.

you want a cheap council place, you take what you’re given and if you keep turning it down they might take you off the register.

Murdoch1949 · 04/04/2023 16:53

Take it. Council flats are golden tickets.

glasshole · 04/04/2023 17:47

Take it. Honestly, you think people that reliant on council housing don't all want to be in a "nice" area? Even the roughest estates will look after their own and once you have moved in and become a known resident you will be surprised by how incredibly normal it is. Reputations aren't always accurate. I live in one of the poorest towns in the uk, totally forgotten and criminally underfunded. I live in one of the " worst " council estates and what that means in reality is that I don't go out after dark on my own, the summer means people often have music playing loudly in every other garden, then post bbq drink/drug fuelled arguments happen and you get to watch out the windows while they call each other fit to burn. But the people are just people. Some have issues but most are no different to you.

Pubesofsoberness · 04/04/2023 17:57

Lol at not being able to know who a crackhead is by looking 🤣🤣

glasshole · 04/04/2023 17:59

Also I've just seen your comment about working part time and doing an OU course. Of course you deserve better accommodation than the u desirable crank heads. A palace do you will it?

I wonder when I'll get moved from my council estate with my BA and MA? Off and my sister too, she's got THREE degrees so positively elite in teens of what she's entitled to!

Op. Council estates aren't filled with just smack heads , illiterates and wasters. Some people can read. Some of them have really high up levels of study. Overwhelmingly, they are mostly there in council housing as something has happened in life that's unfairly affected them. For my sister she had two kids born with disabilities. I got diagnosed with several several immune diseases ( but I'm also an ex coke addict and rape survivor with bipolar). One of my neighbours is from Syria, she was a professor of biology there. Next door is a very young family with 4 kids under 4. Their dad died when the mum was pregnant with the last one and she had to seek her house as she couldn't pay the bills. Then there is smack head ste who wheels and deals to earn a few quid to pay for god drugs and rides a black bmx that's older than me. My dad lives across the road too, he's a retired musician and another retired musician lives in the flat above him. They jam in the garden occasionally. The local teens love it.

It's really not all doom and gloom. We've got an active "free" page on fb that people volunteer stuff on . We have a bartering page too. Local cafes and restaurants do special offers etc. It's actually really nice in a lot of ways and WAY less judgemental than you would believe.