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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Offered council property in terrible area

307 replies

ShouldITakeIt · 03/04/2023 20:27

Single parent of DS who is 2. Currently living with my mum but have been on the council waiting list since he was born. Was offered a flat before but turned it down due to it being in a rough road and have been offered another one this week which is in an even worse area! The flat itself is actually really nice but the estate it is on used to have a really bad reputation and is a deprived area. It was fairly quiet when I visited but pretty run down looking and I saw a few undesirable looking people walking about :( the problem I have is that if I decline this flat, then I'm booted off the list. Private renting isn't an option for me and I'm currently living in my mum's lounge. Would you take the flat? Does anyone have any experience of living in an undesirable area? Help!!! :(

OP posts:
Comii9 · 04/04/2023 18:05

@glasshole I don't even think its that tbh. There's loads of people living in council properties for all types of reasons. Growing up as a kid my next door neighbours both had good job. Mum worked in probation for years... they only had 1 child too. Not sure why they didn't move. Perhaps they were happy? Perhaps they just didn't want to move who knows.

I don't think its fair to imply though that if you live in a council property you must of had some type of unfair card debt in life. Ffs some estates are horrendous yes but not all.

2bazookas · 04/04/2023 18:33

if I decline this flat, then I'm booted off the list..

Then you have nothing to lose by accepting it.
You may find that people who live in poor run down areas are just like you; there because they have no choice, but that doesn't make them bad people.

FWIW, IME working in Glasgow's east end, people who look undesirable are often good hearted and good company. Looking tough and hard is their defence mechanism.

The few dangerous people I've encountered were not instantly identifiable by looks ( passing unnoticed is how they get away with it).

Titanosaurus · 04/04/2023 19:29

Many years ago, I used to deliver to homes

The people that lived in the "poorest, worst areas" always gave the biggest tips

These type of people are known as "salt of the earth"

You won't know the people or the area, unless you try

You can always move in the future

Therealjudgejudy · 04/04/2023 19:33

Take it op.

Or don't, and stay living in your mums lounge 🙄

Desertbarncat · 04/04/2023 19:37

Take it. If it’s really really bad you can always move back in with your mom.

glasshole · 04/04/2023 19:47

Comii9 · 04/04/2023 18:05

@glasshole I don't even think its that tbh. There's loads of people living in council properties for all types of reasons. Growing up as a kid my next door neighbours both had good job. Mum worked in probation for years... they only had 1 child too. Not sure why they didn't move. Perhaps they were happy? Perhaps they just didn't want to move who knows.

I don't think its fair to imply though that if you live in a council property you must of had some type of unfair card debt in life. Ffs some estates are horrendous yes but not all.

I didn't say ALL people in council housing were bad or had adverse lives. I was simply making a point that the occupants of council housing are very VERY diverse and a great deal of people would be shocked. It's not all " down and outs" by a country mile and in fact the make up a very small % of occupants. You do get a few bad eggs that give us a bad name but my neighbours really are lovely people from all walks of life.

Pubesofsoberness · 04/04/2023 20:18

You can earn quite a lot and be eligible for council housing in my area. They tend to like a bit of diversity.

It's not actually the council tenants that are an issue here but one of the shitty private LL who rents out housing he really shouldn't as its not fit to be lived in and that can cause problems

The majority of the people in council housing near me work, as do the ones in private renting and then there's also plenty of owned properties as well

It is much cheaper than surrounding areas so has plenty of working, low income families who just can't afford to rent or buy anywhere else

It's totally different to when I lived here 20 odd years ago and while we still have the odd fight and drug dealers hanging about its not a bad area to live like I thought it would be

OldFan · 04/04/2023 20:52

ungrateful and entitled

@FranksOcean I see it primarily as OP being concerned for her kid (and understandably somewhat for herself too.) No one wants their child growing up with major gang and drug crime around them, and potentially getting involved.

No one wants to risk being caught in the crossfire of a drive by and shot when they go down the shop for a pint of milk for instance (I'm not saying OP's potential area is like that but just that these are genuine things for some people to worry about.)

It's not ungratefully and entitled to not want to be stabbed outside your home and try and get home only to die on the landing.

Or not want to be the neighbour who finds your neighbour dead in a pool of blood as you head towards your flat.

I don't think it's ungrateful or entitled to worry about these things, it's just natural not to want to die of violence or see people bled to death on the ground, especially if you have an LO.

This is not compulsory in council properties- some areas aren't as bad.

But it would depend how bad the area actually is whether OP is BU or not.

I wouldn't want to live in Lozells for instance. My area maybe isn't quite as bad as there, but all the above has happened in my area in the last few years.

OldFan · 04/04/2023 21:01

But being offered a council property is beyond the reach of most people who need one.

@luckylavender Not if they genuinely need one. If they need one they're given priority. If they're already living somewhere then obviously they won't get priority, same goes for if they're earning etc.

To all those saying someone can move in somewhere and get a swap to somewhere else; in my experience it's not always easy to get a swap. I've not tried but I know of some people who've tried and never got one.

But I don't want to put you off @ShouldITakeIt . It must be an improvement on mum's lounge, which isn't a long term prospect really. I felt similar when offered a council place (even though I was homeless and in a council B+B.) It just felt very permanent and is a big decision.

luckylavender · 04/04/2023 21:08

@OldFan - that's if there are any available in the area you are. Plenty of towns where there is no accommodation available. You can be as desperate as you want.

Welshmonster · 04/04/2023 21:31

You have turned down one already and may not get offered another. You can’t pick and choose sadly and even affluent areas have dodgy inhabitants and crime

Pubesofsoberness · 04/04/2023 21:41

OldFan · 04/04/2023 20:52

ungrateful and entitled

@FranksOcean I see it primarily as OP being concerned for her kid (and understandably somewhat for herself too.) No one wants their child growing up with major gang and drug crime around them, and potentially getting involved.

No one wants to risk being caught in the crossfire of a drive by and shot when they go down the shop for a pint of milk for instance (I'm not saying OP's potential area is like that but just that these are genuine things for some people to worry about.)

It's not ungratefully and entitled to not want to be stabbed outside your home and try and get home only to die on the landing.

Or not want to be the neighbour who finds your neighbour dead in a pool of blood as you head towards your flat.

I don't think it's ungrateful or entitled to worry about these things, it's just natural not to want to die of violence or see people bled to death on the ground, especially if you have an LO.

This is not compulsory in council properties- some areas aren't as bad.

But it would depend how bad the area actually is whether OP is BU or not.

I wouldn't want to live in Lozells for instance. My area maybe isn't quite as bad as there, but all the above has happened in my area in the last few years.

Exactly , I don't think half the people on here have a clue

Thet certainly wouldn't be walking through some of the ares mentioned here because they wouldn't dare and they certainly wouldn't want to bring their children up in an area like that.

It's understandable tht the op is worried as a single parent with a small child

Manthide · 04/04/2023 21:42

Almost 30 years ago I was living with my 2 dd's ( aged 2 and 3) at my parents' home. I was offered a new build house surrounded by two notorious council estates. I took it and I really enjoyed living there. The other residents were friendly and everyone had children of a similar age - and as the children were young I never went out after dark. Take it, make a home and in time hopefully you'll be able to have more options.

Bearlady · 04/04/2023 21:43

I was in the same position myself over a decade ago. I was made homeless due to my ex I had 3 small children with me. None of my family would take us in. I was worried as had never lived on a council estate before. It was actually a lot nicer than I thought it would be. The house was horrible but I cleaned and decorated etc. I remarried and we bought it at a great price with a good discount. We did loads of work on it and now worth 3 times what it was priced at a few years ago. Our circumstances have changed since then so we moved out and are now letting it. I never planned or thought any of that would happen. My cloud had a silver lining.

Comii9 · 04/04/2023 21:49

OldFan · 04/04/2023 20:52

ungrateful and entitled

@FranksOcean I see it primarily as OP being concerned for her kid (and understandably somewhat for herself too.) No one wants their child growing up with major gang and drug crime around them, and potentially getting involved.

No one wants to risk being caught in the crossfire of a drive by and shot when they go down the shop for a pint of milk for instance (I'm not saying OP's potential area is like that but just that these are genuine things for some people to worry about.)

It's not ungratefully and entitled to not want to be stabbed outside your home and try and get home only to die on the landing.

Or not want to be the neighbour who finds your neighbour dead in a pool of blood as you head towards your flat.

I don't think it's ungrateful or entitled to worry about these things, it's just natural not to want to die of violence or see people bled to death on the ground, especially if you have an LO.

This is not compulsory in council properties- some areas aren't as bad.

But it would depend how bad the area actually is whether OP is BU or not.

I wouldn't want to live in Lozells for instance. My area maybe isn't quite as bad as there, but all the above has happened in my area in the last few years.

Do you live in a council house? When was the last time you applied for a council property?

The bottom line isbeggers can't be choosers and it's as simple as that! What is your solution? Because worrying isn't going to magic her a home for her child. OP isn't unique or special plenty of others manage just fine in council houses 🙄

LeavedIn · 04/04/2023 21:56

Fwiw we live in the least desirable area of our town because it’s what we could afford at the time. It looks a bit run down and there’s litter everywhere but actually our neighbours are generally pretty nice and the local school is great.
Go for it and aim to relocate in a few years once you are more established if you don’t like it. Good luck! 😊

GirlOfTudor · 04/04/2023 22:01

It sounds like you don't have much choice. You can't live in your mum's lounge forever and you will be kicked off the housing list if you decline.
Some of the 'roughest' areas have the friendliest, most generous communities.
It doesn't have to be forever. After a specified time period of living there, you'll be able exchange for another property so you may be able to find a nicer one. Or use the cheap social rent (when compared to private rents) and save any spare money you have to buy in the future.

Sennelier1 · 04/04/2023 22:08

Take the flat, make it your own heaven, for you and your child. Look around and be carefull who you befriend but absolutely fo socialise. I’m sure there will be other young women with children! Making a neighbourhood nice, better, attractive and yes even desirable depends on people like you!

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 04/04/2023 22:16

With respect, I think you're being ridiculously snobby. If you're that bothered about what the area looks like, then wait until you can save up and rent/buy somewhere you like.

Crackheads have free rein anywhere you know. If you don't associate with them then they won't bother you other than to ask for the odd 10p.

Dexy007 · 05/04/2023 01:01

So you’re someone that needs council housing, but you’d rather not be housed alongside the other folk who need council housing? You’re a different class of single mum than them?

stop being silly and take it!

Highlandflingbling · 05/04/2023 01:14

house was horrible but I cleaned and decorated etc. I remarried and we bought it at a great price with a good discount. We did loads of work on it and now worth 3 times what it was priced at a few years ago. Our circumstances have changed since then so we moved out and are now letting it. I never planned or thought any of that would happen. My cloud had a silver lining.

This is part of the problem in this country!! I wouldn’t brag about it.

VeganStar · 05/04/2023 01:44

Hi op. Take the flat while you can. As others have said you can apply for a transfer or even a swop later on. Failing that if it’s really really bad could you go back to your dms.
I own my own house but my area is deprived and it’s not that bad as long as you keep to yourself.
I actually like living here. I live in a cul de sac of ten houses and it’s pretty quiet. We do get the odd person who has had a skin full passing by singing their heads off but it’s more funny than threatening.
Even if it turns out that you’re in a block of flats it may well be quiet.
I hope everything works out ok for you and your lo and that you never feel the need to move away from there.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 05/04/2023 02:17

Take it and then you may be able to do a swap in the future if they still do that. As you said you can make the place nice and your son not going to school yet so get settled and see if you can make a change in the future. No matter where you live is always awful people and it may not be that bad at all just a little run down but you can make a nice home for you and your son and move in the future to a different area if that is possible.

Bearlady · 05/04/2023 04:26

@Highlandflingbling It was not meant to be it was just a statement of my situation. I only put this information down in order to show that sometimes bad situations can change into better ones. It's up to the Government re Right to buy etc and I'm sure many would do likewise. Plenty have already I'm sorry if this irked you.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 05/04/2023 05:45

In my HA/council you wouldn’t have been offered a top floor flat, due to having young child, have you asked the council if your a suitable candidate for the property due to your DC age?