To give up a secure council tenancy even though I can’t really afford to

[casperz]

Due to the fact that as an autistic woman going through peri menopause and struggling massively with my mental health I cannot stand the level of noise from the neighbours and their children and the anti social behaviour. It’s sensory hell living here and I can never fully relax which is making my anxiety worse. I was on antidepressants which I only started on since moving here a couple of years back but I came off them when i started HRT. Ideally I don’t want to go back on them as they made me feel like a a zombie but at the same time I can’t cope feeling on edge from hearing the constant screams (actual screams not just kids having fun) of the feral kids running amuck in the street, banging their footballs off neighbours fences and cars including my own, neighbours getting drunk ending up fighting and smashing their house up, smelling weed in my house as the neighbours smoke inside instead of outside.

Our rent is currently £450 a months and if we were to move into private rented we’d be looking at least £1000 a month. We can’t really afford this as I can only work part time (husband is full time) as our youngest dc is autistic and needs one of us around but I’m that desperate that I’m
actual willing to work nights or get a second job working weekends, missing out on seeing my husband, so that we can afford a house in a better area. My husband whilst fully understands my frustration thinks we’d be crazy to give up an affordable and secure council house. AIBU to not care and want to move?

Yab massively U. The rental market is crazy atm. You will almost certainly struggle to find anywhere suitable. You saud you can only work part time, yet thing working nights is somehow going to be ok? I get it must be awful but you would be mad to consider this.

Contact your council report the noise nuisance and ASB. Fwiw people live in nice areas and have awful neighbours.

Oh I know you can get nightmare neighbours anywhere but in my experience you’re far more likely to get them on council estates.

Don’t give up your council tenancy. You’ll be jumping onto a speeding treadmill that you can never get off again. Annoying neighbours can be anywhere.

Our neighbours are a nightmare for screaming at each other and their dogs barking but we befriended them when we felt vulnerable after losing MIL. Life is a lot nicer without the tension. They still make the same noises but we don’t feel full of hate about it anymore. An attitude change could really help. Otherwise everything they do winds you up.

The key here is secure tenancy. Private renting is not secure, less so in the current climate. Sorry you're having such a bad time with neighbours

Believe me I’ve tired to change my mindset and my attitude towards them but it’s near on impossible. I do not like these people. They are rude entitled obnoxious A holes and that’s the top and bottom of it. If we only lived further down the street we’d be fine as I know some of the neighbours from before we moved here and they’re lovely as are most of the neighbours down that end. It’s just the neighbours up at our end who are horrible.

I get it’s about having a secure tenancy but at the same time I just want to feel happy in myself but living here I’m miserable.

Kids grow up and leave home
our neighbors behind we’re as you described
the kids have all left home now and it’s quiet ,and I made friends with the mum of the worst offenders for noise .
turns out her kids we’re autistic same as me and mine ,and that accounted for a lot of the noise .
try over the head ear phones ,and nice smells ,wave and say hello ,be friendly,

I do know how you feel as I've lived in a similar place myself, the trouble included having my windows smashed several times. I stayed on the exchange scheme and eventually was able to move into a slightly better area, and got a better house from there.
While I was doing that, other tenants in my old street got fed up and started up a tenants association. Its pretty quiet there now, they got the HA to move out all the worst problem tenants. I still wouldn't have stayed because the schools were terrible.

I was on antidepressants which I only started on since moving here a couple of years back

Where did you live before?

How far away do you/your husband work?

Have you looked into if the council will do a transfer?

Sometimes if they have a free property they will allow a current tenant to transfer their tenancy to the new house and then they’ll put the other house on for new tenants.

If you have an extra bedroom then you can also be put back on the housing list and will be high up on the banding.

I would try everything you can to stay in social housing especially if you have an autistic child which needs extra support as in the future you may need to give up work completely.

If you can’t move then you’ll have no other choice but to go private. However I know of many private properties that also have antisocial neighbours.

I would try to better your home first, look into ways to sound proof, perhaps get someone in to see how to reduce the weed smell, look at vents or air con systems.

Keep a diary about anti social behaviour and report them each time.
Perhaps ask for a letter from your GP stating how negatively you are affected living there.

These things are not quick fixes but moving out and trying to pay full market rent at your ages is really not very smart.

I was friendly when I moved here and would always say hello and chat. But we moved here during covid and things were quiet. Fast forward a couple of years and they’ve shown their true colours. As for kids growing up the kids around here who play out and get up to all sorts well they’re aged I’d say from 3 years old to 11 and there are at least 15-20 kids who play out front (often at the end of my drive) daily so it’s going to be a long time until they grow up. Ironically my ds who’s autistic makes less noise than they do.

My last house was actually an ex council house but on a much smaller estate. We only moved as the owner needed to sell otherwise I’d have happily stayed there as it was lovely. My husband works around 10 miles from work. I live about a mile from work and either walk or drive depending on the weather. I have asked the council if they’d move us elsewhere but they said that their policy is once your house your housed and the only way to move is to find a house on homeswapper yourself or make your own arrangements eg private rented. We don’t have an extra bedroom so that’s not an option unfortunately.

Oh god don't give up social housing! It sounds like you'd struggle financially to keep up private renting and it would be so foolish on this climate. In my area to rent a similar property to mine it would be a minimum of £900 a month and it wouldn't be anywhere near as big/nice.

My neighbors were awful when their kids were younger but it's so much better now, barely a peep is heard. You need to do everything possible to stay where you are

Given your ages, it would be absolutely madness to give up a secure tenancy.

You would have no hope of retirement if you're in private rented and if one or both of you had to give up work, you would massively struggle.

no way if youve been accepted and given a house youd be mad to give it up

theres noise everywhere i live in terraced its not jut so easy to leave jut because you rent/own

I do get what you’re saying and I’ll certainly consider your suggestions. I’m just so fed up tonight. Currently lay on the sofa try to watch tv with cotton wool in my ears as my inconsiderate next door neighbour has her tv on full blast. All day I’ve had to put up with screaming kids and the moment they go in and it’s quiet my neighbour starts with her nightly tv torture.

I know that there is noise everywhere and to be fair outside of my home eg work and out and about I cope with noise well but at home find it impossible to drown it out. I feel trapped.

I’d hang on to your secure tenancy if you can. What about noise cancelling headphones? Even if you had low music playing they’d still drown out the rest of the noise.

Would you consider getting internal soundproofing and secondary glazing?

I can relate so much, the noise is almost unbearable in my area too.

I’ve often thought about giving up my council tenancy too, but even with us both working we couldn’t afford it long term.

Sorry to hear you’re struggling.

Don't give up your secure tenancy OP. I did that because I was moving over 100 miles away. It didn't work out and I came back and have been in rented accommodation since.
My landlord is selling up soon and I have to find somewhere else to live. I've been so happy where I am now. I also have an autistic child and am dreading all the change in his life as he's only known this house.
If you can't get a home swap have you actually tried talking to your neighbour and asking her to turn her TV down

So you completely get it @Bookaholic73 It’s awful not being able to relax in your own home isn’t it.

I add my voice to those who say that you'd be mad to give up your tenancy.

Antisocial neighbours can be anywhere.

Private renting comes with high rent, minimal security, and the risk of having a useless or negligent landlord.

If you would need to get 2nd job to be able to rent privately, what would you do in retirement?

Stay put.

Keep a diary, keep reporting, call the noise emergency line when it's particularly bad.
Also talk to Shelter - they may be able to advise or support you. And keep looking for house swaps - but check our any offers you get to make sure it meets your needs.

But do NOT give up your council home!

I am really noise sensitive and live in a 'posh area' in a detached house. All was well when we moved. But I can hear the noise from a building site, noise from home schooled children, noise from dogs allowed to bark incessantly, noise from the streets being dug up. Noise from trampolines. Noise from people who kept up at the crack of dawn and start gardening. None of it is anti social and It wouldn't be a lot for some people but I find it a lot. I'd ideally have the windows open but I cant: guess I am just saying there are no guarantees that you will find utopia wherever you go and you might be taking a huge risk.

My dh has spoke to her before about other things but not about the tv. The last time it was about her adult son fighting and scaring our ds. She basically told my dh where to go. You can’t reason with stupid can you.