Sometimes feel that colleagues don't want to work with me

[Gooooo]

It's in a care home setting, several of them do but I've noticed that it'll always be the same friends working together.
We have residents who require two carers, known as the 'doubles' and then the 'singles'.
I've been there a few months and there are people who've been there a few years but who also socialise outside of work together.
On many shifts it'll be them two who say to me 'We're going to do the doubles together, could you do the singles."

Or if I offer to do the 'doubles', they will just say 'No it's ok, we'll do them.'

I don't think I'm awful at the job and surely would have not been kept on if I am, and people say I'm hardworking.
I think it is just a case of friends wanting to work together which seems very juvenile and school-like, I don't really care who I work with.

It can just be a bit isolating sometimes as I am working on my own most of the time. Which I don't mind, but it would be nice to build connections and work with people a bit more.
Care homes can be very cliquey sadly, not sure what I could do.

Or it's always the same people saying 'We're going to do X together." We don't not get on or anything, they just don't want to work with me.

Yes, I find people do this - need their friend there - not great if you are the single.
Not sure what the solution is.

If it is the case, and I would say trust your gut here, I think this is much more of a reflection on their character than yours. Sorry you haven't got a good crowd at work, but hopefully you have elsewhere.

I think your feelings are very valid here, but quite honestly, please don't take it personally.

If they've worked together for years, and socialise outside of work, I can see why they would want to do the doubles together. It's not helpful to you, but I can see how it happens.

I think next time I would say something like "I'd actually really like to work with one of you today; it's quite lonely doing singles every time, and I can't get to know anyone if I'm always on my own."

If they were 19 I'd understand but this is often women who are 30+. Or it's senior staff asking one of their friends to hand out half of their medication with them. I'm also senior staff but I hand it all out myself.
Luckily there are a couple of staff who don't mind working with me but I do often feel like some sort of leper.

Yes you're right I should speak up really.
Another thing is one of our residents who is very regimented and 'particular' he can take a long time to assist because of this. A lot of the staff don't seem to like putting him to bed really, and he also likes me Assisting him because apparently I 'do the job properly'.

Funnily they all go quiet when it's time for him to go to bed, because they can't be bothered. I don't mind assisting him at all, but they shouldn't be leaving it to me every night because they know he takes a while, it should be taken in turns. I do try o say 'Jack would like to get up/go to bed now ' but they're conveniently busy.

That must be annoying for you. Can you raise it with someone? It’s isolating and excludes you. The work needs to be divided more evenly.

I'm sure it's not you OP, just that they are good friends so probably like spending time together

I work in a similar environment and there are people I avoid working with, because they are faffers. Every person with them takes twice as long and they have their priorities out of order. Could something like that be a factor?

It may well be more that they want to work together, rather than they actively don't want to work with you. I suspect it's nothing to do with you personally or professionally - just that they are used to working together, and that makes it easier.

I have two colleagues that are in the same role as me. One I have worked with since I started, and it's easy and flows. One is relatively new, and neither me nor my other colleague have found that easy flow with her (yet). We both like her very much, but we do prefer it when we are working together (usually it's just one or two people on shift at the same time), as it just works.

I suspect they prefer to work together because they've been doing it for a while and it's just easier - but that doesn't mean they aren't happy to work with you when it's needed.

And that’s no excuse to exclude people.

It's just natural for friends to want to work together because they can have a little joke and chat and it makes the day go quicker

It should really be someone higher up giving out the jobs so that this doesn't always Happen

Maybe they feel they work better together as a team. I can't see the issue personally, as long as the job is completed safely and respectfully. I don't see how it would be isolating. You're not working on your own are you. You're working with human beings who need care and support. Don't you speak to them?

So you mean the newbie is forced to be alone and have a day that goes more slowly? Surely you can see how wrong that is.

I think you’re right about their reasons for doing it (age irrelevant - people of any age can be like this) and it doesn’t sound personal to you. Annoying though.

They're not alone? What about the human being they are supporting with personal care? Don't they count?

Obviously I speak to the people in my care...
I'm talking about working with colleagues. What's wrong with wanting to work with my colleagues occasionally?
If I were really a 'faffer" or whatever I suspect it would've been brought up by now
Anyway yeah hopefully it's not person and just people wanting to work with their friends all the time (which smacks of school)

If two people are used to working together, they will have worked out a way to do things that require 2 pairs of hands in a way that works for both them and the residents.

I think you may be reading too much into this.

I get that, but still don't get why it's necessary to exclude another colleague every time. Why can't they rotate? It won't kill them

There's nothing wrong with wanting to work with your colleagues if you normally spend your time alone. But the reasons you give are odd. Because you don't spend your time alone. You're working with people who need care and support. So how can this be isolating? Unless this is an age / disability issue?

Shame on them for not realising how thier behaviour makes you feel. It's crap but it says a lot about them as people (in which case do you really want to spend more time with them?)

I know it's easier said than done but try not to let it get to you. Many people don't have friends at work. Things change too. All it takes is some new staff members and it will all change.

Remember: you are enough. You are friendworthy. They're the ones with the problem.

Last week when I visitied the care home my family member is in I got fists shaken at me, sworn at, and apart from Hello no comprehensible conversation however the staff were as cheerful and chatty regardless.
Chatting to residents is not the same as chatting to a friend.

It’s awful and makes you feel like you are back at school. I worked in a nursery room with three people who were friends outside work. They were lovely people but it wasn’t much fun. I ended up asking to changing rooms and it was fine then.

The problem here is the management. They should delegate residents to the staff and pair up different staff each day. This is how it works in some care homes. That way staff get to know each other better and even when there are cliques it's not up to staff to pick and choose who they work with or what residents they get up.

The same at night. Staff should be paired and put the residents to bed when they ask.

Maybe put an anonymous letter asking things to be changed.