Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he had his me-time yesterday?

60 replies

MissClimpsonsTypingBureau · 02/04/2023 19:10

I'm on mat leave with a 7 week old. Elder child is in reception. DH works FT (out of the house 7.30 to 6) and usually has to work on Sunday afternoon.

Last night DH he went out with friends - first time since baby, I was v happy about him doing that. He said in return I could have all the time I wanted today, since he didn't have to work. So I spent 2.5 hours this afternoon doing some CPD that was due, while he watched a film with Reception child and baby slept on him. Basically first time I'd not been in charge of at least one of them. Again, v happy with this.

BUT when I came back in he told me it was his turn for "me-time" and buggered off to play computer games. AIBU to think he had his me-time yesterday?

(He does do lots, I'm very lucky, but his need to have daily time totally on his own and doing something he enjoys [I do occasionally get time on my own and spend it sorting clothes or cleaning the bathroom] is pissing me off today!)

OP posts:
Scuttlingherbert · 02/04/2023 19:53

He said you could have all the time you wanted and hasn't really delivered that.

thegrain · 02/04/2023 19:54

Sounds like he's just twigged how hard you have it

Botw1 · 02/04/2023 19:55

Why didn't you say that to him then?

Crunchymum · 02/04/2023 19:55

So when he said it was his turn for "me time" what did you say OP?

NoSquirrels · 02/04/2023 19:58

He said in return I could have all the time I wanted today

Remind him what he promised.

Duckingella · 02/04/2023 19:59

Yes he's had his me time;he went out I'm assuming longer than 2.5 hours whilst you've done bath,bed,feeding,changing nappies,most likely abit of housework and I'm assuming done the night wakings.

All he's done is 2.5 hours of laying down with a sleeping baby who's not needed anything and used the tv as a babysitter for your toddler.Let that sink in.

Who's done the dinner,bath and bed routine tonight?;you?

Pattypop · 02/04/2023 20:04

I can’t believe how many grown adults play computer games. It would be a massive turn off for me.

Original poster
MissClimpsonsTypingBureau · 02/04/2023 21:43

Botw1 · 02/04/2023 19:55

Why didn't you say that to him then?

Because he'd already handed me DS and by the time I'd opened my mouth he'd gone!

But he did surface later (when I was trying to feed a screaming DS during DD bath) and did bedtime for DD.

OP posts:
Botw1 · 02/04/2023 21:46

@MissClimpsonsTypingBureau

So?

You should have shouted him back or follow and handed him ds back

Devoutspoken · 02/04/2023 21:48

What is cpd

Forgooodnesssakenow · 02/04/2023 21:48

MissClimpsonsTypingBureau · 02/04/2023 21:43

Because he'd already handed me DS and by the time I'd opened my mouth he'd gone!

But he did surface later (when I was trying to feed a screaming DS during DD bath) and did bedtime for DD.

Show quote history

I literally can't imagine this, if my dh buggered off during bath time even now, and youngest is almost 2 I'd lose my shit. Bath and bedtime are hugely challenging with our kids, eldest has sleep issues, but even a more straightforward situation id expect him to at least be there expecting o be part of the routine not waiting for bathageddon to start

Theturtlethatcried · 02/04/2023 21:49

Hours of CPD is no more “me time” than his Sunday afternoon work is. When you have a baby and another young child you don’t get hours and hours a day alone doing stuff you enjoy. It sucks sometimes but just goes with the territory of parenthood. So he’s being ridiculously unreasonable.

UndercoverCop · 02/04/2023 21:50

CPD isn't me time!!!

Iwrotethelyricstoaxlf · 02/04/2023 21:57

Why do the CPD? As far as I’m aware you don’t have to do it while on maternity.

5foot5 · 02/04/2023 22:28

Wtf is CPD?

Oh, and @Pattypop for this:
I can’t believe how many grown adults play computer games. It would be a massive turn off for me
do bore off.

Strange as it may seem to you, but different people enjoy doing different things. I have no idea what you consider to be an acceptable pastime for an adult, but there is every chance that whatever it is there will be other people who find it crucifyingly dull.

I don't play computer games myself but know lots of perfectly nice, charming, intelligent adults who do.

StripyHorse · 02/04/2023 22:59

CPD is 'Continuing Professional Development'

So basically, OP's 'me time' was work related.

OP YANBU!

SkyandSurf · 03/04/2023 01:00

You're unreasonable for not following him and handing the baby back.

CPD is not 'me time'. Ffs all he did was watch TV with the children, the baby wasn't even awake.

Stop allowing him to take the piss.

TomatoSandwiches · 03/04/2023 01:39

Get him a sling so he can baby wear whilst playing video games.
YANBU btw.

Singularity82 · 03/04/2023 01:43

Pattypop · 02/04/2023 20:04

I can’t believe how many grown adults play computer games. It would be a massive turn off for me.

Sorry 🙄 not all of us have got a black belt in being a grown up

Hamster1111 · 03/04/2023 01:58

Even if he dissappeared before you got the chance to say something couldn't you follow him and tell him you were pissed off? So much goes unsaid I marriages till the resentment boils over. I have friends whose partners are like this, I know we would never have worked as they'd have got sick of me years ago. Which is fine by me!!

TrishM80 · 03/04/2023 02:03

Pattypop · 02/04/2023 20:04

I can’t believe how many grown adults play computer games. It would be a massive turn off for me.

Amen. The amount of threads on here about lazy/part-time husbands/boyfriends and a general theme is they're nearly always one of these "gamer" types.

Singularity82 · 03/04/2023 02:04

TrishM80 · 03/04/2023 02:03

Amen. The amount of threads on here about lazy/part-time husbands/boyfriends and a general theme is they're nearly always one of these "gamer" types.

Show quote history

My husband is one of these “gamer” types and is about as hands on as a partner can be. Works full time, does the lions share of the housework, does the garden, spends quality time with the kids.

HelloBunny · 03/04/2023 02:07

My DH said today - I just want to have a relaxing Sunday! Yeah, me too...

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/04/2023 02:09

Mine too @Singularity82

Equal partner and great DH.

WishingMyLifeAway · 03/04/2023 02:22

Pattypop · 02/04/2023 20:04

I can’t believe how many grown adults play computer games. It would be a massive turn off for me.

What a weird thing to say! Why is gaming any less worthy than any other hobby? Is it all games you have a problem with, or just the digital versions?