to think planning your day is wasting time you could use?

[underthesunshine]

I don't mean planning things if you work from home or something but my close friend literally plan things like

• first 15 mins after waking, let dog out, brush teeth and do skin care
• feed dog and make breakfast
• call dentist to make appointment
• check emails
• get ready
• take dog out for walk
• go to work

You get the gist... very detailed of quite small non thought about things?

I'm not judging her by any means! Just surprised doing such a detailed list doesn't just waste more time of your day... she said she likes having the plan and routine before she starts the day or she feels overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed if you have a whole load of things you need to do and remember and therefore writing a list but... brushing teeth? that's something I'd maybe make for my toddler.

You could say the same for posting on mumsnet I suppose. Far more productive things to do with our time 🤣.

Having a morning routine that I actually sat down and wrote out with timings for everything (including brushing my teeth!) was really useful for me a couple of years ago. I still have a few written out on my phone depending on if I want to go for a run, a walk or a swim in the morning before work. I don't need to religiously refer to them anymore as it's more of a habit, but it was really useful to start with. I think it is a suggestion in the organised time technique book.

Tomorrow begins today and all that!

@underthesunshine I genuinely forget to do the most basic tasks like eat lunch or have a drink if I don't put them on my list. I have dyslexia and really appalling executive function. For me it causes terrible time blindness so I have to schedule basic things like showers and brushing my teeth because I'm always in such a terrible rush that I forget otherwise. It's a really effecting method for me to stay on top of things.

I get terribly overwhelmed but never by a big list. Lists are my favourite 😂i have a mega list in the back of my diary. I'll never accomplish half the crap on there but it stops my brain thinking about it all on repeat because I know its written down.

I have to do this (I have adhd and if I don’t have a list I completely get distracted and to be honest sometimes still do even with my list then I get overwhelmed by my list 🤷‍♀️)

just because you don’t understand it doesn’t make it right or wrong for your friend and yes you do come across as very judgmental

If anyone wants to share their lists I would be interested!

I struggle to even organise myself to make lists. No ADHD (that I know of). Tbh I am often just desperate for some time to myself with no commitments so put things off.

I don't write mine down but I do have daily lists in my head.

I have autism and I feel much less overwhelmed if I know in advance what I'm doing and at what time I'm doing it.

I am autistic and might have ADHD as well - I am not diagnosed.

Anyway - my list is as follows:

• Get washed
• Get dressed
• Do face
• Make bed
• Clean sink
• Do litter tray

The "do face" is putting on my make up, which I always do. Not much - just foundation, blusher and lipstick.

DH sometimes does the litter tray - it depends who gets to it first - but I always check. DH is useless at making the bed (IMO) because it isn't tidy enough, the way he does it.
Since he does all the washing up, every day, I do the bathroom sink daily. I also do al the washing, but he mops all the floors and hoovers every day.

I find I cannot do anything else in the day until I have completed my basic list.

I find I cannot do anything else in the day until I have completed my basic list.

Yes! I'm exactly the same. My morning routine is identical everyday and it means I can leave the house without worrying about whether I've forgotten X, Y or Z.

DH is the total opposite to me and seems to live his life in total chaos

You are clearly judging OP. You've posted about your friend, explained what you don't think it's worthwhile and even compared it to something you'd do for your toddler! You didn't ask if it works for other people (as implied by your second post).

You don't sound like a very good friend and it's none of your business if it works for your friend. Why are you so bothered?

It doesn't matter whether or not it's common. It works for your friend and you're being a bit unkind.

I have the Todoist app and there's several items to tick off every morning.

Some of them are medication where I was getting a bit lax at taking them regularly.

Most are set to repeat automatically- loading washing machine, hanging washing up, cleaning sink, changing sheets, put recycling out. All very mundane, but really doesn't take long to set up and then tick off. And there are some days where I'm low and ticking things off feels like the only positive thing I've achieved that day

Different strokes for different folks, OP.

"..................and there are some days where I'm low and ticking things off feels like the only positive thing I've achieved that day"

100% this!

OP - stop with the judgemental bollocks. A lot of neurodiverse people NEED these lists in order to function without panicking on a daily basis.
You're not being very kind to your friend, and I object to being compared to a toddler, by the way.

It seems very mundane to me and yes, time consuming to have to even think about things I don't need to consider thinking about and hurting my head deciding where that's going to go in the day

Well, whoop-de-doo, OP. Well done. Well done on suggesting that things like lists, which help neurodiverse people, are "mundane".

Oh, and saying your friend "hasn't got ADHD" is ridiculous. I would be willing to bet that she has, and that she either doesn't know, or hasn't told you.

Because actually, you sound like a judgemental twat.

I wish I could do this. Every so often I write out a nice long list in a pretty notebook. Then I'll remember that staring at a long list of jobs is really overwhelming for me and pretty much means I'll get nothing done.

I started doing this when I was pregnant with my eldest. I don’t know if it was an anxiety thing, but I quite enjoyed writing my lists over my morning cuppa and I suppose it just reassured me that there would be enough hours in the day to make sure that everything that needed to be done would be done.

It probably takes up a similar amount of time and energy as writing posts about other people’s coping mechanisms on mumsnet.

I didn’t know I had adhd. And now that I do know, I still don’t share my diagnosis with people who lack empathy and understanding.

Don't sneer - it isn't an attractive trait.
Of course not "everyone on MN has to have ADHD/ASD" - but the vast majority of people who find lists like this helpful are neurodiverse.

And writing lists is what this particular thread is about.

I love a list
And a timer

YABU

very detailed of quite small non thought about things

I'd describe that list as a few jottings to remind me of what I want to get done. Once I get involved with something I would very likely forget the other things unless prompted.

A detailed list would at least include start and stop times, hence duration of each activity plus lots more. I earn my living as a project manager so I do really know what a detailed plan

Anyway, what is it for you, that someone is different to you? Chill.

I write my list in the notes on my phone. With the bullet points that you can tick off.

My phone is my time wasting weakness but that also means I'm inclined to pick it up to check my list.

My little reward for doing the stuff on my list is a sit down with a hot drink and a scroll once I've ticked off a few things.

It seems very mundane to me and yes, time consuming to have to even think about things I don't need to consider thinking about.

But that's the point, isn't it - just because you don't need to think about those things in order to remember to do them, that doesn't mean some other people don't. And amyway, it's not necessarily only about remembering.

I used to use a Bullet Journal. It revolutionised my life and made me much more organised, but it was also remarkably mentally freeing to externalise my to do list. I immediately lost that constant feeling in the back of my mind that there was something I was forgetting to do. Would I have remembered to do the more obvious things on my list without writing them down? Almost certainly. But that doesn't negate how much of a relief it was to empty my internal inbox.

I don't use a journal atm because I have to keep my work life and home life separate, and for me the whole point was to have everything in one place. I really miss it though.

I have adhd (diagnosed 2 years ago) and lists have been my saviour my whole life. Making a basic/mundane list is not a waste of time as you will reuse it every day unless/ until something changes. My biggest problems are time management and procrastination- lists with a timeline are invaluable. I imagine this will be true for non adhd people who also suffer with those issues. I'm envious of those who can get up and crack on effectively without planning but please don't sneer at those of us who need to.

It’s now my list! I like the clean bathroom sink one as this always makes me feel more sorted.

This! (I’m awaiting diagnosis.)

I set recurring alarms for things that would seem ridiculous to others, but if I don’t I forget everything or remember at a really late time (eg. We’re literally walking out the door). People often think I’m pretty organised, but I put a huge effort into that. My husband (also waiting on adhd diagnosis) does not do this and is incredibly disorganised. He often forgets basics and gets dates/times wrong for appointments or doesn’t do tasks because he forgot. It’s likely without that list, she’d be quite dysfunctional and it’s something she’s developed to manage her inability to consistently remember - which is a big positive and often one reason women do not get diagnosed with ADHD or similar.

I'd do this things in my head as I'm having my morning coffee. I would tell anyone or talk about it though unless someone was interested in the mundanity