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Original poster

To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?

701 replies

phonemouse · 31/03/2023 20:19

One that gets me is people boasting about how 'tiny' they are, but one that always makes me laugh is my MIL proudly mentioning on way more than one occasion how narrow SIL'a feet are like it's something really special 🤣🤣

OP posts:
MedievalMadness · 31/03/2023 23:44

Oh the not taking any tablets even for a headache really pisses me off. It’s not like some people have a choice. It’s like the natural pain/relief childbirth advocates. Good for you, but your not going to get a bloody medal for bravery. If something has been invented to make something agonising, less so, then it’s not being noble or superior, to go without.

on the other side it’s the competitive medicine takers - I have to have 300 tablets at bedtime and 1000 when I wake up. Jolly good. No one needs to know except anyone’s who lives with you or is looking after you.

Jellifulfruit · 31/03/2023 23:46

Erghhh, people who make being short their personality.
Nobody:
Literally nobody:
Someone below 5’4: ergh, #shortgirlproblems

🤔😂

LittleLentils · 31/03/2023 23:46

Some of these aren't even boasts. I think some of you are just looking for digs from people where there aren't any. Don't judge everyone by your standards. Must be hard having a conversation with anyone considering any topic/preference/observation is seen as bragging 🤦‍♀️

ChristmasCakeAndGin · 31/03/2023 23:46

People who always say "my team" so that you know that they're the boss!

Just seen one on Instagram - out at X with my new team!

Moaning5 · 31/03/2023 23:56

Anyone that moans about any aspect of their job/career. Either t&cs, pay, hours, location, workload, or anything else that can easily be resolved by them getting a different job.

Isittimeformynapyet · 31/03/2023 23:58

So "flex" means to boast now?

Looks like I missed another damn meeting!

JupiterFortified · 01/04/2023 00:04

People who are just SO busy. Always busy. So much busier than you! And tired, so so tired.

It’s not a fucking competition Margaret: perhaps if you didn’t send Augustus and Arabella to trombone lessons on a Monday, Viola practice on a Tuesday and a flute recital on a Wednesday you might have a bit more time to sit on your arse and do nothing.

Bore off.

kitsuneghost · 01/04/2023 00:04

Newname221 · 31/03/2023 23:39

Do they? I normally squeeze into a 4.5 because they are cheaper 😂

Im either a 4.5 or a 5, it’s not like I’m a 6 and squeezing my feet in. But if there is a kids option; I’m for sure a 4.5.

Show quote history

I'm pretty sure I have seen 5s. Maybe depends on the shop.

Alrightok · 01/04/2023 00:04

First thing I saw when I went on Facebook 😂

To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?
Newname221 · 01/04/2023 00:06

kitsuneghost · 01/04/2023 00:04

I'm pretty sure I have seen 5s. Maybe depends on the shop.

Show quote history

Actually, I think the “boys” section goes up to 5, and girls/unisex is smaller. Because everyone knows we wear shoes on our genitals/tits, so it makes complete sense. Obvs.

AncientBallerina · 01/04/2023 00:11

That they deleted the COVID app. Like somehow it had disappeared because they deleted the app. Also ‘I’m done with COVID’.
But is COVID done with you honey?

ThreeLocusts · 01/04/2023 00:11

DoggerelBank · 31/03/2023 23:42

I used to wear a lot of children's clothes. Before online shopping was a thing, you couldn't get smaller sizes easily. If people were talking about clothes shopping and I mentioned I mostly wore children's clothes, was that a flex? Was that weird?
It was cheaper (no VAT), easier to shop for when you've got 3 kids in tow and they won't give you time in a shop dept not relevant to them, and more convenient than buying adult clothes and spending ages sewing to make them the right size. But the choice was v limited. I think a lot of short arses with a very flat chest would prefer not to be, to be honest, so they could go clothes shopping like normal people (and not look short and flat-chested). We already feel 'weird', thanks - just like unusually tall or overweight people might do - but it's now also boastful if we mention our issues with buying clothes?
I do wonder how many of these supposed flexes are being misinterpreted as boasting when people are really just saying what their life is like in order to join in a conversation. What you might see as a boast may actually be the opposite.

Show quote history

This... many of the boasts here are in the eye of the beholder.

determinedtomakethiswork · 01/04/2023 00:13

XenoBitch · 31/03/2023 20:30

Recently met someone who claimed that they attempted suicide when they were 3 years old!

But don't you think that's really sad?

TeenLifeMum · 01/04/2023 00:14

Girls shoes go up to 5.5 and they’re tax free… I know this because my adidas trainers with sparkly stripes were £24 kids sizes and £48 adults. Also, Tesco school shoes are cheap and good for work - also 5.5.

Wintersgirl · 01/04/2023 00:14

My SIL boasted that she NEVER watches TV, I had visions of her sitting in a rocking chair dutifully reading a Victorian novel by candle light, her DH dropped her in it by saying she watches catch up TV and DVDs! Her face was a picture when he said that.

AncientBallerina · 01/04/2023 00:18

Oh yeah and the person in work who gets a note from the doctor if she’s off even for just one day ‘because that’s just the sort of person she is’. We self certify for three days so she is just wasting the doctor’s time. I’m not sure it’s even true / probably just some kind of virtue signalling.

IAteAllTheTomatoes · 01/04/2023 00:19

There's a guy on our team that regularly cones out with "you have to remember I was promoted to this role far earlier than the rest of you" like it's extremely important.

He's 10-15 years older the rest of us so of course he was but that seems lost on him.

Foronenightonly22 · 01/04/2023 00:20

I so sorry for your loss. Xx

Bunnyhair · 01/04/2023 00:20

@ItsThePlayBusDingDing I am so sorry. I know the unbearable sorrow and trauma of losing a baby. Your mother's behaviour was unforgivable.

Foronenightonly22 · 01/04/2023 00:21

Sorry I thought I had tagged @ItsThePlayBusDingDing

Tophy124 · 01/04/2023 00:22

@MedievalMadness i will never understand the natural birth bragging. I had one (was denied an epidural as I dilated ‘too fast’ but then baby got stuck) and it was hell on earth!! I roll my eyes now anytime someone brings up Hypnobirthing.

Hardbackwriter · 01/04/2023 00:42

The one that drives me mad, but is really, really common is people who boast about their own selflessness and self-effacement. I feel like I know a lot of people who are 'putting themselves first for once, because I always put everyone else ahead of me' on a surprisingly regular basis!

Similarly: public declarations that you suffer from imposter syndrome, which are a very good way to get lots of people to tell you that you're amazing while also displaying your deep humility...

Youreeavinalaff · 01/04/2023 00:45

One mum proudly telling me how her son was NEVER ill when mine had been off with the flu. The flu that her son brought into school the previous week. He apparently had his head on the desk from feeling terrible half the time. Had to bite my tongue. He was always the first kid to come down with each lurgy, she just didn't want to keep him off school I think.

Mamanyt · 01/04/2023 00:47

IDontWantToBeAPie · 31/03/2023 20:33

Oh god the foot thing is no joke. I have fairly small feet but a friend is a Size 2 and she doesn't half bang on about it.

LOL, I have a friend like that! The last time she brought up her tiny feet, I snapped and said, "Good thing you're so damn short. If you were my height, you'd tip over every time you took a step." Her feet are perfectly proportional to her height. They are no smaller than the rest of her.

Newname221 · 01/04/2023 00:47

Tophy124 · 01/04/2023 00:22

@MedievalMadness i will never understand the natural birth bragging. I had one (was denied an epidural as I dilated ‘too fast’ but then baby got stuck) and it was hell on earth!! I roll my eyes now anytime someone brings up Hypnobirthing.

I did hypnobirthing.

Til it came to actually, you know, birthing.

Then I did all the drugs.

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