To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?

[phonemouse]

One that gets me is people boasting about how 'tiny' they are, but one that always makes me laugh is my MIL proudly mentioning on way more than one occasion how narrow SIL'a feet are like it's something really special 🤣🤣

My grandmother used to cap any illness by saying that she had had it worse than anyone else which was her ideal, or, failing that, someone else in the family. One day my dad told her about one of his work colleagues who had had a terrible illness and died from it. Without drawing breath, Grandma immediately said “well it can’t have been as bad as our so-and-so!” My dad could only reply that the poor man had died of it and just how bad did it have to be?

I'm still annoyed that I politely said have a nice holiday and not bugger off with your silly boasting!

@Saltovinegar that response was miles better. If I was her I'd have taken that as a polite: "Fuck off and die."

But she was talking to her daughter...?

You're missing the point. She was using her daughter to show off to a stranger that they were going to Las Vegas. I love Pandora but I'd pick Tiffany or similar if I was going to show off 🤣

😂 “20/20 vision. Yeah, we (always we, never just the child) are thinking of training to be a pilot…”

Yes - I still remember starting out in my first job and meeting one of the other new joiners, who liked to frequently and proudly declare that he'd promised himself he would never read another book again after being forced to at school and university. He never seemed to notice this declaration was met with awkward silence rather than applause! He also enjoyed cornering people enjoying a book on their lunchbreak and telling them they were wasting their time reading, that he never read and was better for it etc....

A bit like Gwyneth Paltrow’s “I wish you well” after winning the court case and leaving the guy with the legal fees…

DH’s ex stealth negs me the time by saying our DC is looking ‘chunky’ or ‘robust’ 🙄 The implication clearly that I have a sack like vagina… they were 5lb 4 ffs. I get by by telling myself she’s clearly unhappy about something and deserves my sympathy and none of my head space…

I too had the I'm so tiny/my feet are child size/I'm so little boasts from women and how little they eat.

Another irritating flex is skinny people saying they eat SO MUCH and ALLLLL the time. Bollocks, unless you have worms of course.

I was in the swimming pool changing room of my gym when a woman started loudly performance-parenting with her daughter who was about nine.

Being stark naked with wringing wet hair is a bit of a social leveller so I don't know whether she felt superior or inferior to me but she was loudly talking about restaurants, holidays and a particularly exclusive local school.

She encouraged her daughter to talk about a recent party thrown by a classmate who I took to be the daughter of a Very Important Person. But her daughter wasn't following any of the cues, chiefly, revealing the name of the Very Important Parent.

Instead, she kept talking about what a great time she'd had, especially playing with her friend Variety's rabbit. Apparently the rabbit was: "Lovely and Variety's mummy said she might have babies and if she did Variety's mummy said I could have one if you and Daddy said it was all right and I'd clean it out and everything."

The woman said: "Her name is Verity, darling."

The little girl said: "That's what I said. Can I have a rabbit? Please!"

I do not judge the little girl. Instead, I thank her for bringing me quiet joy after a swim on a Tuesday afternoon. I never did find out the identities of Variety's Very Important Parents.

Unless she said it when he was a newborn, I would have understood this as you feed him well. It's a compliment that your baby is thriving and healthy.

@limitedperiodonly that made me lol what a sweet story!

@ElegantCow yes from a newborn and followed up with ‘of course (step child) was always such a tiny little thing/is so reedy/has such a narrow waist’. DSC is a perfectly healthy average size as is DC, they both generally wear their age range clothes, I’ve no idea why they must be continually compared

‘Oh I’m so sad that my granny died… and left me 80k.’
’Im so missing my granny……. She left me 80 you know’
’I wish granny hadn’t died…… even though she left me 80k’
’Did I mention that my granny left me 80k?’

This carried on for several months. I had no witty comments to make, I used to just ignore them.

Maybe you referring to her being on the chubby side feeds into it? Just saying

I love this thread!

What does ‘flex’ mean in this context? Can someone help me out on that please?

Mine are 1 1/2 !😀

I politely endured a few days with a painter and decorator who kept boasting to me: "I could never work in an office, wearing a suit and tie, that's just not me."

It occurred to me that it might have been a manifestation of his internalised inferiority complex and projection of such against my blameless husband who left for work in a suit and tie about the time the painter arrived every morning and always greeted him with friendliness.

I never said: "Look, mate. You're not Scott of the Antarctic, you're painting my kitchen and next week you'll be painting someone else's kitchen and believe me, I'm counting the days until that comes."

But I didn't because I have learned from my suit-wearing office drone of a husband that it is better to let people work out their insecurities by themselves and answer: "Mmm! Yeah! You're right mate."

Boasting about being teeny tiny, and of course always having a 'strapping, rugby playing DH' who everyone seems to fancy 🙄 always on MN

People who martyr themselves with their annual leave. "Ooh I still have 25 days left this year my manager has demanded I need to take". I always think it's a bit sad they've had no other plans.

Mainly MN who boast that they earn 6 figures. Always 6 figures yet are somehow on the breadline.

I have a friend with long hair and she's always swishing it around and doing a sideways glance to see if anyone is in awe of their long hair. Noone cares

My friend owns a caravan and her top boast about it is "it doesn't even have a TV!" She's always on about how it's a lovely getaway from "reality". Caravan with no TV sounds like a shit holiday mate

The feet thing has pursued me all my life

my aunt has tiny feet, as did my mother. Slim ankles and dainty feet is apparently the thing all women should wish for, it’s the holy grail of femininity

then along came giant baby me, growing into a six ft woman with size 8 feet, the horror!

mum even took me to see a Specialist to predict my adult height and foot size 😁 , after a bone scan they said I’d probably grow to be just over 6ft

gosh the number of times women have compared themselves to me, putting their dainty feet next to my size 8 ones and exclaiming loudly about the difference haha, especially a few of my young female colleagues who all flexed about their tiny feet and general tiny-ness 🥲

I am sick of the female “dainty ideal”. Took me to age 40 to properly own my height, size, shoe size and not feel self conscious 😁 now I happily stomp around in my big boots

‘I wish my boobs were as small as yours, mine are always popping out of my clothes!!’ Boohoo, how awful it must be to not be flat chested, also thanks for drawing the entire room’s attention to it 🙄

@Flyinggeesei234 I guess it comes from flexing your muscles - i.e showing off

What a terrible parent you are for seeking appropriate medical care and treatment for your children! 🙄