Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask the most annoying/bizarre flex/boast you've heard?

701 replies

phonemouse · 31/03/2023 20:19

One that gets me is people boasting about how 'tiny' they are, but one that always makes me laugh is my MIL proudly mentioning on way more than one occasion how narrow SIL'a feet are like it's something really special 🤣🤣

OP posts:
Beanniebaby22 · 01/04/2023 11:22

Nimrode · 31/03/2023 22:09

Had a boss who used to boast about how she only had 2 weeks maternity leave, usually to any team member that was pregnant. There's a well known poster on here who also braggs every so often about having 2 weeks off...or was it 2 days?? basically chucked the baby out and went straight back into their strategy meeting.

Ugh yes I also had a boss like this. Had such disdain for parents of young children wanting to leave work on time, requesting the odd bank holiday off, taking a full years maternity leave etc.

Because when SHE had her babies she ONLY took 3 months maternity leave, and she voluntarily worked EVERY bank holiday (even though she didn’t need to), she ALWAYS missed her kids sports games because she was working, she sent her kids to their grandparents every Christmas because she had to work (again, she didn’t need to, she volunteered to just so she could brag about what a hard working martyr she was).

I don’t personally think voluntarily having such a poor work life balance is something to brag about. Missing out on your kids childhood because you would rather be at work isn’t a flex, it’s just sad… And just because that’s how you chose to do it don’t impose those standards on other young parents 🙄

Rant over lol.

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 01/04/2023 11:28

Beanniebaby22 · 01/04/2023 11:22

Ugh yes I also had a boss like this. Had such disdain for parents of young children wanting to leave work on time, requesting the odd bank holiday off, taking a full years maternity leave etc.

Because when SHE had her babies she ONLY took 3 months maternity leave, and she voluntarily worked EVERY bank holiday (even though she didn’t need to), she ALWAYS missed her kids sports games because she was working, she sent her kids to their grandparents every Christmas because she had to work (again, she didn’t need to, she volunteered to just so she could brag about what a hard working martyr she was).

I don’t personally think voluntarily having such a poor work life balance is something to brag about. Missing out on your kids childhood because you would rather be at work isn’t a flex, it’s just sad… And just because that’s how you chose to do it don’t impose those standards on other young parents 🙄

Rant over lol.

Show quote history

Fuck yeah, that's really not one to hold up to other people as a positive. If it suits you, fine, but thinking it's a standard for others? That'll be a no.

PyjamaFan · 01/04/2023 11:35

I used to be part of a lunch club that had one of those competitive under-eaters. So tedious.

She would only order a starter and then delight in telling everyone 'that's plenty for me!' And 'I don't have a big appetite'. And be so so shocked that anyone could possibly manage a starter AND a main.

One place we used to frequent used large round plates and small oval plates depending on what you ordered. She (obviously) used to always have a small oval plate meal. And would be visibly miffed if anyone else did too.

Ridiculous woman.

kdramaqueen · 01/04/2023 11:37

SerenaB12 · 31/03/2023 20:43

I know someone who consistently draws attention to her small wrists.. she's in good shape, very intelligent..but at any given point you will have to hear her frustration at not being able to wear watches/bracelets... because of her tiny wrists.. 🤣

I have the same problem of child sized wrists, but she's talking rubbish as the Apple magnetic watch strap has been a game changer. You can pull it as tight as you want and the face still sits properly positioned on your wrist.

ReneBumsWombats · 01/04/2023 11:38

PyjamaFan · 01/04/2023 11:35

I used to be part of a lunch club that had one of those competitive under-eaters. So tedious.

She would only order a starter and then delight in telling everyone 'that's plenty for me!' And 'I don't have a big appetite'. And be so so shocked that anyone could possibly manage a starter AND a main.

One place we used to frequent used large round plates and small oval plates depending on what you ordered. She (obviously) used to always have a small oval plate meal. And would be visibly miffed if anyone else did too.

Ridiculous woman.

A competitive undereater at a lunch club. Of course.

coffee06 · 01/04/2023 11:50

What's a flex? Confused

PuppyMonkey · 01/04/2023 11:52

My sister, though I love her to bits, is the absolute QUEEN of stealth boasting/humble bragging whatever you want to call it.

Her best one is always having seen/read whatever brand new book, film, TV programme that’s just come out before you. so occasionally if I post about liking a film on FB, and other friends come on saying they agree etc, she’ll always have to add something like “Yes DH and I loved it when we watched it last week.” Makes me laugh.

In fact we watched the Elvis movie last night and I think I might post about it just so I can wait for her to come on mention how she saw it last summer or something.Grin

Season0fTheWitch · 01/04/2023 11:56

Women boasting that they only drink beer... It gives cool wife vibes/I'm one of the boys

ReneBumsWombats · 01/04/2023 11:57

coffee06 · 01/04/2023 11:50

What's a flex? Confused

A boast. Equivalent to a muscle flex.

Coffeetree · 01/04/2023 11:58

coffee06 · 01/04/2023 11:50

What's a flex? Confused

Oh another one: people who pretend not to understand all this newfangled slang. If only we had Google!

coffee06 · 01/04/2023 12:01

@Coffeetree Google tells me it's a global supply chain and manufacturing solutions provider. Calm down.

QueefQueen80s · 01/04/2023 12:06

PyjamaFan · 01/04/2023 11:35

I used to be part of a lunch club that had one of those competitive under-eaters. So tedious.

She would only order a starter and then delight in telling everyone 'that's plenty for me!' And 'I don't have a big appetite'. And be so so shocked that anyone could possibly manage a starter AND a main.

One place we used to frequent used large round plates and small oval plates depending on what you ordered. She (obviously) used to always have a small oval plate meal. And would be visibly miffed if anyone else did too.

Ridiculous woman.

I'd have had a dessert too just to see her po face.

LadyMargaretDevereux · 01/04/2023 12:11

Our neighbour used to love telling us how much things cost that he'd bought recently, like a new massive watch with a fancy name he'd 'treated' himself to, or a new electric guitar to add to his 'collection'. There was always a story about how you can't get these in the UK you have to have them by whatever boring shite buying story this time. You couldn't just have a normal conversation with him about the dog or the traffic on our road, it had to be some long story about boring stuff, which he probably was quite sure we couldn't afford, now I come to think about it.

Pilosella · 01/04/2023 12:13

So hard to find sunglasses that fit over his extra long eyelashes

UnDruidlyWords · 01/04/2023 12:13

JudgeRudy · 31/03/2023 21:15

Old people are the best. Sometimes they say things that I know from their expression they expect a response....but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to say
Standards are "I'll be 80 next year" ...so you're 79 then.
Widowers "I do all my own cooking"...
My mum's neighbour told me she'd been married 60 (?) years and got a card from the Queen.....but first I had to guess...erm 50?
Women on TikTok...."lm 50!,"...er OK, I guessed 48 so that's about right
Aspiring couple on IG "Amazing house transformation "...wow, nice, loving the stairs, are you a carpenter? No we got someone in...
Yes we knocked down that wall ....er no, you didn't, you just borrowed/had some money and payed for an architect, a project manager, and various tradies. You did choose the splash back, and tiles and those prints and cushions.

The bit about 'We' did this, I work for someone like that. Me or someone else does the work and then he says he did it. He wanted me to trim some shrubs into a hedge, so I did. A few months later he mentioned 'Those shrubs I hedged'.

RemoteControlDoobry · 01/04/2023 12:24

It’s usually other people commenting on how tiny I am….like when I take my shoes off (I usually wear wedges or I’m half a foot smaller than everyone else and feel like a child) and I get “Ooh aren’t you small?!” and “Ooh look at your little shoes!”. And I do have wrists so small that I can’t buy nice watches. I also look embarrassingly young but that’s not allowed on here.

I would like to be a little bit taller so please allow me to enjoy having the size 3 feet that go with being 5’0.

Jayne35 · 01/04/2023 12:26

Women boasting that they only drink beer... It gives cool wife vibes/I'm one of the boys

Is this a boast though if they do only drink beer?

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 01/04/2023 12:28

GordonShakespearedoesChristmas · 01/04/2023 07:57

I get that he sounds like a bore, but you laughed at his financial misfortune and embarrassment?
Wow.

Show quote history

I'd have laughed too, the twat had it coming.

Jayne35 · 01/04/2023 12:29

Google tells me it's a global supply chain and manufacturing solutions provider. Calm down

Well said @coffee06, I didn’t know either and the reply you got was unnecessary and rude from a mumsnet keyboard warrior!

furryfrontbottom · 01/04/2023 12:30

JamSandle · 31/03/2023 20:33

'I've slept with 100 women' from a bloke. That only grosses me out mate.

Did any of them go back for a second helping?

Surlybassey · 01/04/2023 12:41

coffee06 · 01/04/2023 11:50

What's a flex? Confused

I was just about to come on and say the same thing! And yes, of course I can use Google, I’m just a bit taken aback by this word that appears to have come from nowhere and that everyone but me seems to know! A case of serious FOMO…..

JudgeJ · 01/04/2023 12:43

PartTimer923 · 31/03/2023 23:27

Birth stories. I went to loads of baby groups with my first DC and all the mums would try to out-do each other about how dreadful their birth was.

"14 hours in labour with only paracetamol..."

"16 hours and I just had gas and air..."

"Well I was in labour for 26 hours and I had nothing..."

"Well I was in labour for 36 hours, had no pain relief and my baby was back-to-back"

"I was in labour for 48 hours, my baby was back-to-back and weighed 14lbs!"

"I was in labour for 109 hours, my baby weighed 18lbs, came out arse first, ripped my hoo-ha and now I can only piss sideways..."

In my day it was competitive stitches, along the lines of Monty Pythin's Four Yorkshiremen.

0utForAWalkBitch · 01/04/2023 12:44

Jayne35 · 01/04/2023 12:29

Google tells me it's a global supply chain and manufacturing solutions provider. Calm down

Well said @coffee06, I didn’t know either and the reply you got was unnecessary and rude from a mumsnet keyboard warrior!

The definition is in the dictionary definition which is the first google result if you google 'what is a flex'. If you just google 'flex' you get the supply chain company but you just have to look beyond the first result. So you didn't try that hard to find out. You just wanted to make a point about 'newfangled slang'. Either that or you need a lesson in using Google - if you're 80 I'll let you off.

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 01/04/2023 12:46

"I was in labour for 109 hours, my baby weighed 18lbs, came out arse first, ripped my hoo-ha and now I can only piss sideways..."

Isn't being able to piss sideways kind of a flex? I'd be impressed.

Blossomtoes · 01/04/2023 12:47

BashirWithTheGoodBeard · 01/04/2023 12:46

"I was in labour for 109 hours, my baby weighed 18lbs, came out arse first, ripped my hoo-ha and now I can only piss sideways..."

Isn't being able to piss sideways kind of a flex? I'd be impressed.

😂